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Thread: SO ready to WEAN almost 3 year old! HeLp

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Feb 2010

    Default SO ready to WEAN almost 3 year old! HeLp

    Ok everyone, I think I'm ready. DD will be 3 years old in 3 more months. I'm growing tired of being a slave. The "booba" needs to retire and I want my body back. Can you guys help? This is going to be a tough case. Here's the scoop, she HAS to nurse to sleep for naps and bedtime. She nurses about 3x day morning, nap, night. Lately, she's been throwing in extra ones I think out of boredom. I'm a single mom so I have no help at home. She will SCREAMMMMM if she can't have the booba. If I say booba is sleeping she SCREAMMMMS and I mean screams! It's a horrific scream that could last for hours. I've denied the booba several times because she could go on all night long and I can't take it. I live in a condo so I CAN'T have the screaming. OMG. How am I going to stop this? She's addicted and so bossy. Controlling and DEMANDING. If I'm not in the bed when she's ready to sleep and starts SCREAMING BOOOOOOBAAAAAAA!!!!!!!

    Any advice would be fabulous! Thank you so much!
    Nursing my bug for almost 3 years YIKES!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Where they keep it weird

    Default Re: SO ready to WEAN almost 3 year old!

    I don't have any advice..my DS is almost 3 and still nurses for naps and bedtime AND during the day. BUT just know that you're not alone and that she will not breastfeed forever. I have to remind myself of that too. I'm sure some mamas that have been there and done that will chime in very soon.
    I am Lea (middle name)
    Mama to Dominic born on 3/23/09
    Wife to G 4/27/07
    We're blessed to have been for 3 years and counting! Proud to with our squirmy worm

    "My home is not a place, it is people."
    -Lois McMaster Bujold

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    San Diego

    Default Re: SO ready to WEAN almost 3 year old!

    You're right, your situation is different than mine. If it helps, while my husband was there to help, my son and I didn't separate when we weaned. He still slept with me and went to sleep with me. I thought he would automatically gravitate to his daddy but it turned out that he loves me just for being mommy, not just because I had boobs, lol! We offered a bribe as well, I think going out for ice cream or something. This only helped a little. Also, we weaned off of nap nursing a few months earlier when I returned to work and he decided to drop his nap at that point. I just explained it to him and also told him nursies were for nighttime. It was a while until the full weaning happened. When I said nursies were sleeping, that ticked him off too, so I didn't use that one. It did not work, ha! I just had to be ready myself to be done, and I was. I explained everything to him and told him no and offered a snuggle or a snack or a stuffie or something when he asked.

    Best of luck. Once you begin, don't stop unless you really want to. If your daughter is like my son, giving in once would be an enormous setback. And I'm sure you know, but this can all be completed with plenty of compassion.
    To free us from the expectations of others, to give us back to ourselves - there lies the great, singular power of self-respect. ~Joan Didion

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Feb 2010

    Default Re: SO ready to WEAN almost 3 year old!

    Thanks guys, I just don't think I can ever do it. She has such a STRONG personality. If I tell her ok 5 mins for the boob, then take her off she screams for hours and hours!!!! It's AWFUL!!! I don't know what to do. I can't get in the car in drive around. That would entail taking a screaming toddler outside of my condo at night, people would be coming outside to see what's wrong. OMG Last weekend I went for a walk with her in the stroller and she literally screamed BOOBA BOOBA the whole 2 miles. I'm not joking. No snack, toy or drink could stop her. My friend even tried to talk to her. Nope. OMG!

    Nursing my bug for almost 3 years YIKES!

  5. #5
    Join Date
    May 2006

    Default Re: SO ready to WEAN almost 3 year old!

    Have you tried cutting down on time at the booba? With my older daughter, I eventually started saying "You can nurse until I count to ten/sing 'Twinkle Twinkle' and then we're done". It worked. She still wanted to nurse, but it wasn't for extended time periods and that made things a lot better.

    If that won't do it, I think you either have to choose to bow to her will for now, until she is really ready to accept weaning, or you have to tough it out. Screaming sucks, but I have a feeling your little lady knows that it works.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    New York

    Default Re: SO ready to WEAN almost 3 year old!

    I love that you have nursed your strong willed daughter into her toddlerhood. If you do nothing at all to initiate weaning will she wean on her own without any struggle. it might take a bit longer this way but you will circumvent any arguments over nursing.
    she will one day on her own decide that she no longer enjoys her meals at your armpit.
    Your breastmilk is still nutritious and beneficial. And you will have some embarrassing anecdotes to bribe her with when she is a teen ager.
    DD#1 July 1986 VB
    DD#2 April 1988 c/sec
    DS#3 April 1990 VBAC
    DS#4 June 1993 VB
    and suprise!
    DD#5 April 2001 c/sec
    BTDT scars and stretchmarks,: wrinkles and grey hair

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Apr 2010

    Default Re: SO ready to WEAN almost 3 year old!

    My DS is 3.5 and he is so close to being weaned. I have done it differently I haven't set any hard fast rules because I don't want to then break them. One rule I did try to follow is that we stopped nursing in bed at night. I would nurse on the couch in the evening and if he fell asleep that was fine. If not when we went to bed he was to put his head on his pillow. He's had quite a few days this month with no nursing. He hasn't gone 2 days in a row yet. But he just started preschool and he's adjusting. He are definitely talking about the weaning party all the time. Originally I said he couldn't have boobie for 2 weeks to have the party. But now I am thinking we will just set a date. There haven't been too many tears. More and more I will offer something else and he will take that. Before 3 my son was still nursing 4-6 times a day now it's once usually sometimes twice and sometimes not at all. Its true what they say all kids will eventually wean, no matter how strong willed. You just need to decide how much you want to help in this process. Congrats for making it this far.
    Did this for 9months with Kailey and Hailey
    who are now 8.

    weaned Dane somewhere around 3.5 no longer he likes to sleep with his sisters He's now 5

    Now I am , , My baby Cruz who is almost 6 months and my last baby

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Apr 2008

    Default Re: SO ready to WEAN almost 3 year old!

    What do you do when she screams? Do you eventually give in and offer her booba's? Kids are smart, especially at 3. If she realizes that if she screams she gets nursed that might be a tough habit to curb.

    I think what I would do in this situation is work on nursing manners first. You can tell her that when she asks nicely you will nurse her. You may end up nursing her MORE initially but I think it will benefit you in the long run because it's much easier to wean a child who understands nursing manners, ya know? So every time she screams you say: "ask mommy nicely and you can have booba's" and when she does ask nicely offer the breast right away. This will counter the screaming.

    Once she is consistently asking nicely (and you are responding promptly) you can switch to "you can have booba's in just one minute, remember that screaming means no booba's, so just wait nicely for a minute, okay?" This will let her know that although they are "hers", they are also "yours".

    For me that is nursing manners. Asking nicely and being okay with waiting a few minutes. It's different for everyone, and this is just my opinion of course. After you have nursing manners you can start cutting down the length of nursing sessions or cutting out the middle nursing session.

    Maybe offering to rock her to sleep AFTER nursing would be an easy transition? Once she is no longer falling asleep with the breast in her mouth it may be easier to cut out the nap nursing session, ya know?

    And again, this is just my 2 cents... The important thing is that you have a plan and that you stick to that plan - whatever it is. Consistency is the key. So my advice would be: 1) don't make rules you can't keep and 2) take baby steps so that both you and your daughter can ease into weaning, making it less traumatic and more likely successful.

    mother of 2 boys!

    Birth: 7lbs 12oz, 1 year: 22lbs 11oz
    until he self-weaned 4 days before his third birthday ... still on occasion ... and happily

    ************************************************** ************************************************** *****************
    People need to understand that when they're deciding between breastmilk and formula, they're not deciding between Coke and Pepsi.... They're choosing between a live, pure substance and a dead substance made with the cheapest oils available. ~Chele Marmet

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