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Thread: To Pump or Not To Pump....

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Posts
    16

    Default To Pump or Not To Pump....

    .... that is the question.....

    I am very grateful to be a first-time stay at home Mom for my first little one. He's 9 weeks old and after the first tough weeks, we have established our nursing relationship and it's getting stronger. I am starting to see the rewards of persevering this far.

    Next week, my in-laws will come to visit for a few weeks and I am getting pressure to start pumping so that my husband and I can go out for dinner while they stay and watch the baby. They keep saying that it'll be good for us to go out and get some alone time together. I haven't left the baby for more than 30 minutes at a stretch so far.

    I do see in the future.... don't know how soon that will be.... that I will want to express some breast milk so that I can, say, go for a yoga class, or a date with my husband.

    But is it too early?

    If I pump some milk just to try it out, how should I do it? I have a Medela single pump - forget the name of it. Haven't even taken it out and read the instructions.

    I also bought the Tommee Tippee starter pack with slow-flow teats just in case our BFing relationship didn't go well. So I can use those.

    What if I pump and there's very little, won't that discourage me?

    And have any of you ever felt guilt for giving your baby a bottle, especially if you are a stay at home mom who doesn't have to pump because of going back to work? Am I being selfish in pumping when I have the luxury of time with my baby?

    Will my baby forgive me for giving him the bottle instead of myself? Will he know the difference and will it go back to being the same when I come home?

    I guess I just need some reassurance that our BFing relationship won't be damaged.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    21,115

    Default Re: To Pump or Not To Pump....

    9 weeks is a good time to introduce an occasional bottle, provided that nursing is now going well, and that you WANT to use a bottle. I actually wouldn't leave bottle introduction much longer if you want your baby to take a bottle. If you haven't introduced a bottle yet, I wouldn't wait for the ILs to try for the first time. What if baby won't take the bottle? And is screaming the whole time you're gone?

    I think that in your shoes I would start pumping once a day, after the first feeding of the morning, and see what you get. Most moms have the most extra milk in the early morning, but even so you might not get much with a single manual pump. Those are the bottom of the barrel when it comes to effectiveness, and pumping is a learned skill that most moms need to practice at in order to get good at! Whether or not this discourages you is up to you.

    Don't feel bad about wanting to be home with your baby, and don't feel bad about wanting some freedom from time to time! Both are totally normal, and there's no right or wrong way to feel.
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    10,440

    Default Re: To Pump or Not To Pump....

    What she said. And what you are talking about is a reasonable thing. It's nice to know you could leave your baby just for an hour or two if you wanted to. While I usually tote my babies with me everywhere, because they are so portable and easier than pumping to leave bottles, there are some times and places where it's just easier to not take them with you, like to the salon. Or the gyn doc.

    Get out the pump and experiment. Pumping is a learned skill, and some moms have a harder time pumping than others. Don't get discouraged. Just pick a time of day and pump at that time. There will be milk for the baby. Or pump one side and nurse the other. See what happens

    And if you don't want to go out without baby, don't.
    Susan
    Mama to my all-natural boys: Ian, 9-4-04, 11.5 lbs; Colton, 11-7-06, 9 lbs, in the water; Logan, 12-8-08, 9 lbs; Gavin, 1-18-11, 9 lbs; and an angel 1-15-06
    18+ months and for Gavin, born with an incomplete cleft lip and incomplete posterior cleft palate
    Sealed for time and eternity, 7-7-93
    Always babywearing, cosleeping and cloth diapering. Living with oppositional defiant disorder and ADHD. Ask me about cloth diapering and sewing your own diapers!

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Posts
    418

    Default Re: To Pump or Not To Pump....

    I agree that this is a good time to introduce an occasional bottle. It is also very nice to go out even just for an hour with DH. I did not realize how much I missed adult conversation at that point.

    You IL will be overjoyed to watch LO while they are here. I would make it an early dinner so that I could be home to put the LO to bed at that point, personally. I think that DS was 3-3.5 months before anyone other than me put him to bed.
    I am Klisti, I married my best friend Kris two years ago.

    The love of my life, Wyatt 8-28-11 AKA the little dude

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Posts
    381

    Default Re: To Pump or Not To Pump....

    I think you have a right to go out and enjoy yourself, have a date with your hubby.
    But you also have a right to not want to miss a feeding/pump instead. You should not be pressured into doing something, especially not by your in-laws.
    Spending an hour or two alone with your hubby right now should be fantastic, you can focus on each other and take a breath from the overwhelming newborn care!
    Also, if you time it right you may not even miss a feeding, nurse right before leaving, go somewhere close by, go out when your baby normally has a longer stretch of time between nursing/nap time.
    Full time working Mom to 3, DH is my hero as a SAHD:
    DS July'09, nursed for 12 weeks
    DD1 & DD2 April'11, tandem nursed for 16 months

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Location
    Springfield, Oregon
    Posts
    916

    Default Re: To Pump or Not To Pump....

    I was, and am, a mom who doesn't feel the desire to separate from my child. She accompanies us on our dates. I just want to provide reassurance if you don't want to leave her yet. She is really young. Also you never have to get her bottle ready if you don't want to. Also introduction of a bottle does run some risk, some babes will get nipple confusion and some parents will start unintentonally overusing bottle thus damaging supply. Occasional use for date nights etc is unlikely to produce such issues but they are something to keep an eye on. Sounds like this is coming from your in-laws who have a selfish (albeit natural) desire in this. You go with your mommy instinct, whatever it is.
    Baby Girl "Piper" born Feb 12th, 2010. She is a true blessing!

    And a baby who is now an Angel in Heaven Feb 7th, 2008.

  7. #7

    Default Re: To Pump or Not To Pump....

    I can surely appreciate your seminar. Even while on maternity I would pump to build up reserves in my freezer. We have tommee tippee bottles when needed since she was a few weeks old (do to having to supplement for a short period of time). We have had no issue with flow or nipple confusion.

    If you decide to leave little one with inlays....I would recommend having a bottle available for just in case. I woul fee nurse right before leaving. You want to ensure you nurse on both sides of bottle. I found thatbenaryl I did not want to be away to long due to me needing relief!

    Good luck.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Location
    Boring ole Michigan
    Posts
    205

    Default Re: To Pump or Not To Pump....

    If you do want to introduce a bottle you should try doing it before your IL's come to make sure he will accept the bottle without any trouble. Some babies flat out refuse the bottle and just scream until they get the real thing. You might have to end up trying different types until you can find one he is compatible with.

    Also it helps if you have your DH or someone else feed him occasionally- that way he will get used to having someone else feed him other than mommy, and also because he might not take a bottle from you because he knows you have the boobs

    Don't feel guilty though about leaving him for a few hours while you go on a date with DH. Even a full time SAHM needs a break too! Getting out the house and socializing can be mentally/emotionally beneficial for you and your DH! You can come back feeling refreshed which ultimately have a positive influence on your role as a mommy.

    With all this being said, however, don't feel pressured to do something that you are not comfortable with. If you are not ready to leave your baby then you don't have to! Also, I am not sure of your relationship with your IL's but if you don't feel comfortable with them watching him then don't feel bad or guilty. Only do what YOU are comfortable doing and don't let your DH, IL's or whoever pressure you. Maybe you can suggest all 5 of you going out to dinner for a family outing? It would be a nice alternative
    July 27 2011

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Posts
    16

    Default Re: To Pump or Not To Pump....

    There's a first time for everything and it's taking me longer than expected to take that step in leaving my baby.

    I will try and pump first and see if that works out. A few of my friends have said that pumping simply "doesn't work" for them. And then we'll try the bottle. We tried a pacifier the other day and he didn't take.

    I definitely don't want to be unable to leave my baby for the whole of our nursing life, but I guess we better try now before it's too late and he refuses the bottle.

    Thanks for all your encouraging words.

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