Feeling Discouraged by This Problem

[@llli*alicesmom]

I am a first time mom, and am also breastfeeding exclusively - at least until my now two-week old is 4 or 6 weeks, then I will be pumping and she will be getting some bottles, in anticipation of me going back to work.

Right now, we're having some problems with fussiness and comfort feeding. At least, I THINK it is comfort feeding. Baby will fuss and root around, acting like she is hungry, even when she just ate or I know she probably isn't. I'll still try to soothe her in other ways, as will my husband, and then offer to feed her in case she is, then she'll fight with me to latch, pull away, etc. Eventually, she will either lightly latch on to just my nipple or she will start eating. This doesn't happen all the time...at night, she latches just fine and eats and then goes back to sleep, until her last feeding, when her dad gets up with her after the feeding.

I am not really minding her wanting to comfort feed/latch or use me as a pacifier except 1) I need to sleep, or eat, or shower and my husband needs to know how to soothe her while I'm sleeping (he's feeling like she doesn't like him - as much as a newborn can "like" someone) and 2), (and most importantly) when she latches and eats, even when she's not hungry, a few minutes after she's done she pukes it all up. It's not projectile vomiting or anything, but it is NOT spit up.

This morning she was extremely fussy, crying/screaming and did the comfort latch thing all morning, then puked. So now I don't know when she's actually hungry, when she just needs to be soothed, and she's not sleeping well. She's only 2 weeks old and I'm starting to feel very discouraged. I thought it could also be that I ate seafood last night and she didn't like the taste - I've read that can happen with certain foods and breastmilk.

The lactation consultant who came in the hospital was NOT at all helpful or very warm or nice, and I just don't know who else to call for this particular problem. It's not an emergency, really, but help would be so nice.

[@llli*mommy2lilah]

I think it sounds like normal newborn behavior - and maybe some overactive letdown mixed in. http://www.kellymom.com/bf/supply/fast-letdown.html

Even with the vomiting, I think that nursing is always the right answer for a newborn that is fussy. In fact, I nurse my 12 month old every time she's fussy. Or maybe I should say, offering to nurse is always the right answer. If she doesn't want to nurse, she won't nurse.

Can I ask why your husband needs to soothe her while you're sleeping? Can you sleep with her so that she is still touching you? I get the shower and eating thing, but if he's not giving her a bottle (which you would have to pump for at the same time, this early on) then I think if she starts to get fussy while he's taking care of you and you're sleeping - he should give her to you. She is still trying to establish your supply and that is why she has such an intense need to suck.

Have you guys tried pacifiers at all?

[@llli*rakoonz]

with PP. I think I read that as long as they were "happy spitters" it was okay. Two weeks is also still very clingy days. My baby at least seemed to nurse constantly (and be in constant growth-spurt mode) from day 1 to somewhere around 7 weeks, with barely a chance for me to use the bathroom, much less eat/shower. I just ate at the same time as nursing, people brought me food on the couch or whereever, and I tried to drop as few crumbs as possible into his little ears. I also just have a blanket set up on the floor, we lie on that, and do side-lying nursing/napping during the daytime. I napped during these times too, so I could steal a shower during times the baby was really sound asleep. Honestly, it's much quicker to just try nursing again before trying all these other comfort measures, even if it's been only 30 seconds since she popped off.

[@llli*alicesmom]

I always offer to nurse, I'm more worried about the vomiting/spit-up and whether she's getting enough to eat. I now don't know her cues, is also why I'm worried - I need to know when she's actually hungry. As for my husband - well, I need my sleep (and food, etc.) but do not feel comfortable with co-sleeping at any time. I amalso planning on going back to work and we both want him to be able to soothe her when I'm not around!

She only sometimes takes a pacifier, I've avoided them as much as possible so my supply can get established and she has a consistently good latch (something else that seems to be suffering now that she has taken to using my nipple as a pacifier.

[@llli*aprilsmagic]

If she has a lot of wet diapers, and the poop is normal in amount, color and consistency, all is well.

Unfortunately, 2 weeks is too young still for someone else to soothe. At this age, they still need MOM. And that usually means a breast. However, if you have just fed her, you can have Daddy hold her and rock her to sleep or wear her in a sling.

The spitting/vomiting...probably nothing, but if it happens again, or over and over, time to call the doc. It might me nothing, but there are some nasty viruses going around this year.

[@llli*katmar]

Hi, and congratulations! I agree with PPs. I also think that the non-birthing partner needs to feel confident with a new baby, and often needs some help with that -- I think it's great you are sensitive to this. Can you get the book or video "Happiest baby on the block"? We watched that in the hospital and it did wonders for my dh's confidence -- I think it was partly effective because it showed all these dads trying to take care of a baby, learning some techniques, and having a better time for it. Just the modeling helped! Though the techniques might work, too. Men just don't have a lot of role models. While I was happy to nurse most of the time, sometimes I really just needed a break -- plus it was so good for my mental health to know that someone other than me could take care of the baby if necessary. At almost a year, I'm finally feeling like DH is a confident parent, so it has taken some time -- but each of those early steps was important, I think.

Oh, and I did lots of complimenting, in the line of "oh, he is so happy when you walk him like that" or "look, he recognizes his daddy is the fun one already!"

It sounds to me like you guys are doing great! I wouldn't worry about foods you are eating unless she seems to be in out-of-the-ordinary pain, and it doesn't sound like that is going on. And "spit up" can be a whole lot of milk -- why do you say it isn't spit up but vomit? These crazy first few weeks go quickly, and it really does get easier. Hang in there.

[@llli*lllmeg]

There is nothing that sounds abnormal here. Relax and nurse your baby and let your husband or other helpers do everything else. Not being able to take a shower, lack of sleep, etc. is par for the course with a brand new baby. You will begin to figure that out over the next several weeks.

nice article for dads: http://www.llli.org/docs/00000000000...t_partners.pdf

and since you plan to start bottles soon, here is a good article about that: http://www.llli.org/docs/00000000000...astfedbaby.pdf

[@llli*mommy2lilah]

Are you napping during the day when the baby is sleeping?

[@llli*pizanite]

Agree with PPs. A lot will change in the next month. I too was so worried about going back to work because DH couldn't soothe her. By the time it rolled around, she had gotten a lot less fussy and it was all ok. Try not to stress too much about the upcoming weeks now and just relax and feed the baby. Have everyone else do the rest and get a break when you need to for a shower, to eat, or even a drive around the block if you are feeling overwhelmed. You are doing great and congrats!