i pump less than what baby drinks =(

[@llli*mommal]

Why would she want to be further comforted by my nursing? My mum soothes her mich better than I do. She is very calm with my mom, much more than with me. I think she loves my mum as much as she loves me, so why would she need my breasts for further comfort when she is just as comfortable with my mum?

Breastfed babies have a very unique relationship with their mommies. They love their daddies and grandmas and brothers and sisters, they can be comforted and snuggled by them. But not nursed by them. ONLY mommy can provide the baby with that most treasured, most pleasurable, most life-sustaining combination of cuddling and nursing. That's why a breastfed baby almost always seeks the breast when reunited with mom. It's why mommies frequently cannot soothe their babies without using the breast, while grandmas can. The baby knows who mommy is, and she knows what mommy has tucked away inside her nursing bra. This can definitely make things challenging for a mom, because it can really wear her out to be a 24-7 breastaurant. But it's worth it.

Don't sell yourself short. Your baby loves you. It's just that in her mind, you are both her beloved mommy and her source of life. She doesn't want to settle for just being held by you, when she knows how much more you have to offer than any other human being on the planet!

[@llli*juliasmomma]

Totally about the hands-free. You can get a bra, or there is also a way to use rubber bands to hook the bottles to your regular nursing bra (I never tried this, but someone posted a link to the directions once). That way you can compress one while still pumping both.

Also, try not to focus on or stress too much about how much is coming out. Just try to relax, watch TV or something & don't worry about it. Sounds silly, but stressing about it may actually decrease your output. When the computer in the office where I pump broke & I could no longer listen to music while pumping, my output went down. All I did was sit & stare at my bottles & hope that they filled up. Pumping became more stressful. And when the computer got fixed and I got my hands-free strap (I use the one that came w/the Pumpin Pals), my output came back up. Now I can use the internet, text, etc. while I pump (& also compress, which really helps too). Just a thought.

Finally, just want to say that you & your LO are in my thoughts and prayers often. I never knew what a thief PPD is, and I hope and pray that you can get what you need to feel good about yourself and enjoy and love your precious baby girl.

[@llli*juliasmomma]

One more thing! Make sure that you're eating & drinking enough & taking your vitamins, especially if/when you're exercising again. Not taking in enough calories (remember 500-600 extra per day!) or being dehydrated could negatively affect your supply.

[@llli*aprilsmagic]

Every day I come look for your threads because I am worried for you. You can do this.

[@llli*mamaDuMonte]

24-7 breastaurant.

Hehehe that makes me laugh

emeline I have been thinking about you today. How are you doing. Hope pumping is going better, and that you are feeling better.

[@llli*kmanih]

Emeline, I'm worried too. I hope you are feeling better and able to get all the support and help you need.

[@llli*emeline]

Thk you ladies.
My mood has been up and down. Will be starting to see a therapist next week.
I think I have to reconcile with myself the fact that life has changed and tt my lifestyle will never go back to what it was previously. I'm constantly struggling with accepting this.

I try to enjoy her. Sometimes I really do. I always tell myself that these moments will never return, and that PND is what's making me find her so
'boring' and resenting my new life. Most of the time its still mechanical though, but I will try.

As for pumping, I pretty much rely on manual expression now. FInd it so much quicker.
And I think I've gone back to oversupply again. my breasts are back to engorged... didn't know that oversupply could return in just 3 days!

[@llli*juliasmomma]

I'm so glad to hear that you'll have someone to talk to! I'm sure that will help

It's an adjustment for all of us, and the first couple months are the toughest...baby is very "needy" and too little/sleepy to show any appreciation for all that you do for them. Lack of sleep, constant feedings, crying, etc. is hard enough to deal with...I can't even imagine doing it all & coping with PPD at the same time. Kudos to you for reaching out and looking for support & help to make your situation better It does get easier, and more fun, as baby gets older. She will start to smile at you, laugh, and interact more, which makes things a little more fun and interesting.

The reality of life as a mom is that it's not about you anymore, or DH, it's about baby & she is the priority. This is a hard adjustment and I've definitely had moments where I've been frustrated b/c I feel like I never have time for myself. So it's good that you've been able to get some time for yourself - that is important. Hang in there, we are all rooting for you and here to support you & help you in whatever way we can!

[@llli*aprilsmagic]

That was a big adjustment for me too. The change in lifestyle.

It won't be long before she is interesting That first 3 months is the fourth trimester, and then baby wakes up and it's fun, and baby is so cute, and they are a ball.

[@llli*kmanih]

That was a big adjustment for me too. The change in lifestyle.

It won't be long before she is interesting That first 3 months is the fourth trimester, and then baby wakes up and it's fun, and baby is so cute, and they are a ball.

I used to think it would be me, as in, my "normal me," plus baby added to all the things that "normal me" used to do. After all, it was easy enough being me, and I had always been so efficient. I was also surprised, shocked, and unprepared for life with baby. I mean, even taking a shower became a luxury and required planning and asking for help. !!! And much as a dad (or other family member) can be involved and get busy too, it's just not the same. So I've also found it to be a little lonely in that no one really understands what I'm going through (that's why connecting to other moms is so important).

As time goes by, baby gets easier to care for, and you become more efficient at doing things. And also you get adjusted to the new rhythm of life. You know, it's still tough and there are still days when I don't have a second to clear my mind even (I mean, all I'm asking is for some mental space, not a ten-day vacation!!!). But I guess I also got used to being less of a perfectionist, and going with the flow and the ups and downs.

As Susan said, as they grow they start to amaze you and captivate you in all sorts of fascinating and unexpected ways.