I am at a place right now at 33 weeks (pregnant) where I am just really kind of dreading breastfeeding again. Especially after DS2, who refused everything but the breast, and I went through several months where I really rather resented having him latched onto me all.the.time. I'm going to do things a little differently this time if I can, by introducting a pacifier to DS3 right away (since I have no concerns about my supply, having had oversupply both times before).
But, I really really really need to get myself psyched up for nursing somehow. Because there is a part-- a very large part-- of me that at times thinks it would actually be a relief if I were unable to breastfeed for some reason (most likely scenario right now being having to go on a mood stabilizer, but it's not a given yet at this point). Even though logically I know that wouldn't make things any easier or less stressful in the long run-- and would be a whole lot more expensive. And if I actually did have to stop breastfeeding before the 1-year mark, I would be terribly upset about it.
Thanks in advance.