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Thread: Guilt

  1. #11
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    COUGARTOWN Baby! From here on in!
    Posts
    17,406

    Default Re: Guilt

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*sarahupdike View Post
    I am undecided. For selfish reasons I'd like to only use formula. I'm just so tired all of the time that formula has helped keep me sane. For feelings of guilt and for my baby's best interests I'm like her to have my breast milk. I'm just so torn!
    I think that your baby's best interest should override selfish reasons don't you? Your baby deserves your milk. And you are making it. I think you owe it to your child to do the work involved in continuing to provide it to her. However, Breastfeeding isn't an all or nothing thing. Some breastmilk is
    still better than NO breast milk. Find a happy medium you can live with.

    Way too lazy for formula

  2. #12
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    10,440

    Default Re: Guilt

    The thing is this....babes are exhausting, and you are going to be tired no matter what.

    PUMPING though, is much, much harder than nursing becomes. I'm sitting here pumping for probably the 4000th time, more or less, in the last year, and I'm over it. Bottles, pumping, washing, all of that, is much more complicated than what breastfeeding turns into.

    But to get to that point, where breastfeeding is easy, you have to work at it. Nothing worth having is easy.

    I personally think your baby is worth the extra effort. The minute you have a child, you start learning that your wishes are quite often secondary to the chikd's needs, and this often starts with how to feed them. Consider what you would like to do and find that happy medium.
    Susan
    Mama to my all-natural boys: Ian, 9-4-04, 11.5 lbs; Colton, 11-7-06, 9 lbs, in the water; Logan, 12-8-08, 9 lbs; Gavin, 1-18-11, 9 lbs; and an angel 1-15-06
    18+ months and for Gavin, born with an incomplete cleft lip and incomplete posterior cleft palate
    Sealed for time and eternity, 7-7-93
    Always babywearing, cosleeping and cloth diapering. Living with oppositional defiant disorder and ADHD. Ask me about cloth diapering and sewing your own diapers!

  3. #13
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Location
    Lehigh Acres, Florida
    Posts
    151

    Default Re: Guilt

    I agree with Aprilsmagic
    Nothing worth having is easy.

    Married to Josh 05/07/2005
    Grace 12/17/2006 FF
    Emma 01/22/2008 EP
    Frank 06/26/2011 EBF

    "While breastfeeding may not seem like the right choice for every parent, it is the best choice for every baby" Amy Spangler

    **** 8 beautiful months and going strong ****

  4. #14
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Posts
    555

    Default Re: Guilt

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*mallory3kids View Post
    I agree with Aprilsmagic
    I had to build my supply almost from scratch at 6 weeks, and while I didn't get him back to the breast, the fact that I went from only one bottle a day of BM to all of his bottles (and now he eats solids and BM) gave me a powerful sense of accomplishment. It took alot of hard work, especially because I never really had to really work at things (I was one of those people who could completely not study for a test in high school and get an A). It was really powerful being able to work at something and actually succeed. Sometimes I feel guilty that I am exclusively pumping, but I think it's important to create your own measure for success. I think if you decide that's the route you want to take, you can do it, because we are all here to help!

  5. #15
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Posts
    192

    Default Re: Guilt

    How old is your baby? Keep in mind that your body has been through a great deal and your hormones are probably not back to normal yet. That along with the lack of sleep could be affecting the way you are feeling. I cried and cried for about 2 weeks after having both of my babies - about breastfeeding and everything else that happened, good or bad.

    The second time around, I had to pump for 4 months and I was constantly exhausted and stressed. I wanted to give up every single day, but I knew I couldn't for my baby's sake. Like you, I knew I would struggle with guilt if I didn't give it my all. My LO started refusing the bottle and I was thrilled to start nursing exclusively. Once you get all the kinks worked out, it is SO much easier than pumping or dealing with cleaning bottles all day. Please consider contacting someone from LLL or a LC to help as soon as possible.

    If you are not able to continue nursing, or feel too overwhelmed by pumping full time, you could pump breastmilk to go along with the formula. Even 1 bottle a day of breastmilk would be better than none at all.

    Hang in there! No matter what you decide, it will get easier.
    Stay at home mom to my 2 boys:
    R - born 4/20/08, nursed for 20 months
    G - born 8/6/11, EPd for 4 months, until he refused the bottle!
    Loving CDing this time around!

  6. #16
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Posts
    466

    Default Re: Guilt

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*katmar View Post
    Agree with pp! There can be a steep learning curve with bf, but it ended up making being out of the house with babe so easy! There are lots of great things about nursing after the initial tough period. That said, if you dont want to do it, dont. It doesnt define you as a mother. You can also do both, it doesnt have to only ff or only bf.

    You might find solace in the blog
    http://feedingthebaby.tumblr.com/
    Though I suggest it with the caveat that they are personal stories, not bf advice at all.
    great link!
    march 2011... the light of my life

    i love my little one

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