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Thread: Bad wifey

  1. #41
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
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    Default Re: Bad wifey

    Nothing, but nothing, is TMI around here. Really. Think of this like your closest friends with whom you discuss everything only you never have to see our faces!
    Susan
    Mama to my all-natural boys: Ian, 9-4-04, 11.5 lbs; Colton, 11-7-06, 9 lbs, in the water; Logan, 12-8-08, 9 lbs; Gavin, 1-18-11, 9 lbs; and an angel 1-15-06
    18+ months and for Gavin, born with an incomplete cleft lip and incomplete posterior cleft palate
    Sealed for time and eternity, 7-7-93
    Always babywearing, cosleeping and cloth diapering. Living with oppositional defiant disorder and ADHD. Ask me about cloth diapering and sewing your own diapers!

  2. #42
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
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    2,944

    Default Re: Bad wifey

    I was thinking of this thread because dh wanted some two days in a row (I somehow managed to leave the baby in bed after he and dd fell asleep) I was all WTF? I thought I didn't have to think of this for another week!!!
    Proud mom of 2:
    DD 5/2008 nursed for 3 years and 3 months.
    DS born 8/2011 nursing like a champ

    Sorry for the short responses...always, always, always NAK or holding a baby

  3. #43
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
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    466

    Default Re: Bad wifey

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*katmar View Post
    Maybe this is tmi, andd if so Im sorry, but at btwn 3-4 mos pp I was still tremendously sore. We tried; I ended up in tears. That definitely put us both off for a while! Now it's still sore at first, feels like I've been having too much rather than not enough. We work through it, but on top of the low libido and exhaustion, its hard to want to. Does anyone else have soreness still, too?
    i must be really sensitive then, b/c at 9 months pp it still was very uncomfortable and at times painful. not just intercourse--just being touched ANYWHERE down there, even the clitoris. now... i had a c-section, and i didn't labor at all. how do you all explain this? (i think it's my bad veins. pregnancy really put a strain on them.)
    march 2011... the light of my life

    i love my little one

  4. #44
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    Mar 2010
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    Default Re: Bad wifey

    A lot of the factors that can make you feel very sore don't even require a vaginal delivery. Studies have shown that women who got a c-section are similarly likely to have post-birth issues. Some of it's hormonal, some of it's caused by pregnancy, etc.

    My DH seems to have given up being "romantic" about it and gets kind of crude sometimes, which only makes me less interested, though I understand he's feeling rejected.


    You can call me JoMo!

    Mom to baby boy Joe, born 5/4/09 and breastfed for more than two and a half years, and baby girl Maggie, born 7/9/12.

  5. #45
    Join Date
    May 2006
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    21,115

    Default Re: Bad wifey

    it could be vein issues, or it could be hormones. For some moms, prolactin (the milk-producing hormone) suppresses estrogen production to such an extent that mom ends up feeling kind of post-menopausal in her genital area. The skin in the area- including the skin inside the vagina- becomes drier, thinner, and much more fragile, and the mom may experience vastly decreased ability to produce natural lubrication. If this is the problem, lube, wine, and taking it VERY SLOW can help. Some moms just have to take vaginal intercourse off the menu for a while, but that still leaves a couple with plenty of sexual options!
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  6. #46
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
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    Lehigh Acres, Florida
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    151

    Default Re: Bad wifey

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*joe.s.mom View Post
    My DH seems to have given up being "romantic" about it and gets kind of crude sometimes, which only makes me less interested, though I understand he's feeling rejected.
    Same here. Maybe men think now they have everything why bother....

    Married to Josh 05/07/2005
    Grace 12/17/2006 FF
    Emma 01/22/2008 EP
    Frank 06/26/2011 EBF

    "While breastfeeding may not seem like the right choice for every parent, it is the best choice for every baby" Amy Spangler

    **** 8 beautiful months and going strong ****

  7. #47
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    Nov 2008
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    Ontario, Canada
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    2,476

    Default Re: Bad wifey

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*joe.s.mom View Post
    My DH seems to have given up being "romantic" about it and gets kind of crude sometimes, which only makes me less interested, though I understand he's feeling rejected.
    We're in the same boat. My DH isn't the romantic type. Our foreplay was always teasing / making each other laugh. Now it's turned crude. Which doesn't help my emotional self. I think he's now holding out for some 'winfall' at the end of BFing #3.
    Mommy to our DD1 early bird (34 weeks, 2 days, 7lbs, 14oz)! Oct. 2nd, 2008 Emergency C-Section, Frank Breech, HEALTHY Girl!
    Weaned @ 17 months
    Our DD2 early bird (37 weeks, 3 days, 7lbs, 12oz) Aug. 10th, 2010 Our Successful VBAC, growing like a bad weed!
    Weaned @ 15 months
    Our DD3 early bird (37 weeks, 3 days, 7lbs, 6oz) Feb. 16th, 2012 Our 2nd VBAC and lightening speedy birth!

    Loving being a Mom of 3, 40 months apart!!
    and

  8. #48
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
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    466

    Default Re: Bad wifey

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*mommal View Post
    it could be vein issues, or it could be hormones. For some moms, prolactin (the milk-producing hormone) suppresses estrogen production to such an extent that mom ends up feeling kind of post-menopausal in her genital area. The skin in the area- including the skin inside the vagina- becomes drier, thinner, and much more fragile, and the mom may experience vastly decreased ability to produce natural lubrication.
    i think that's part of the problem, yes. i haven't gotten my period yet and baby is 9.5 months (i'm not complaining though! i like the break). it's just funny... i don't even have lube in the house b/c i used to overlubricate. and i also could switch myself on and off so easily. now... i am just so not interested!... even in the other options (which i used to enjoy so much).
    march 2011... the light of my life

    i love my little one

  9. #49
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    Mar 2010
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    Northern Cal.
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    Default Re: Bad wifey

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*mallory3kids View Post
    Same here. Maybe men think now they have everything why bother....
    Here, I think DH has been turned down so many times, the crudeness is like a humor-defense mechanism. Thing is, it doesn't actually work!


    You can call me JoMo!

    Mom to baby boy Joe, born 5/4/09 and breastfed for more than two and a half years, and baby girl Maggie, born 7/9/12.

  10. #50
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Location
    Cleveland, OH
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    522

    Default Re: Bad wifey

    I was still having pain 6 months pp so I was prescribed estrogen cream. Just a little daily dab in the area where I was stitched up and a few weeks later the pain was minimal. Didn't affect milk supply at all.

    I guess my point is, don't be afraid to tell your doctor or midwife if pain is what is holding you back.
    My little man was born 12/17/2010.

    Baby girl was born 4/30/2014.

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