Proud mom of 2:
DD 5/2008 nursed for 3 years and 3 months.
DS born 8/2011 nursing like a champ
Sorry for the short responses...always, always, always NAK or holding a baby
My husband also says that I must not find him attractive anymore cause I don't want sex. I think men are more needy and self conscious then us ladies.
If for some reason I just DO IT...I can't relax enough to enjoy it. I am constantly thinking about my lo. ugh
Married to Josh 05/07/2005
Grace 12/17/2006 FF
Emma 01/22/2008 EP
Frank 06/26/2011 EBF
"While breastfeeding may not seem like the right choice for every parent, it is the best choice for every baby" Amy Spangler
**** 8 beautiful months and going strong ****
Oh my goodness! I am soooooooo glad I am not the only one! I was starting to feel like I was broken! My poor hubby says I am always blowing him off and I'm like no I'm not it's just soooooo hard to be in the mood! The minute I have DD1 in bed (almost 3 yrs) and DD2 (Born 8/29/11) to bed and my head touches the pillow I just sink in and never want to move again! Or like he'll wake up during the middle of the night during a night feeding, I'll get her back to bed (crib is in our room) and lay back down and he wants it. I'm like, REALLY?!?! Ulg! I so wish I could give it to him more without it feeling like such a chore! Twice a week is my goal too! Hubby would be more happy with EVERY DAY! I guess that's what I get for being a young mom and having a young hubby lol.
Young SAHM of
Afton (A1) (1/24/09) and
Autumn (A2) (8/29/11)
Sealed in the SLC Temple
and and now CDing!
Maybe this is tmi, andd if so Im sorry, but at btwn 3-4 mos pp I was still tremendously sore. We tried; I ended up in tears. That definitely put us both off for a while! Now it's still sore at first, feels like I've been having too much rather than not enough. We work through it, but on top of the low libido and exhaustion, its hard to want to. Does anyone else have soreness still, too? And i only had one stitch, and doc even said that one wasn't necessary!
I have to say, also, the experience of birth may have forever changed my desire for sex. I used to be all into my sexuality, Barbara Kruger and Georgia O'Keefe, yeah!, but now I think it sometimes actually terrifies me. The clitoris is still great, but Sex really makes human beings! Good lord, thank you, no!
Mother to a sweet boy, born at 34 weeks on 2/11/11.
Proud that I grew 26 lbs of baby before solids, and still counting...
We received banked milk in the NICU. Thank you, donors!!!
Wow, so glad I found this, and know I'm not alone! I had a friend who got right back into the swing of things 6 weeks pp! I was so embarassed to admit how low my libido is . I consider myself lucky in this way, my husband, who's in the military, has been away since october. So he hasn't been around to bug me all that often. I think he was a bit let down he didn't get as much action when he came home for Christmas as he wanted...he'll be back in a few weeks. So I guess I'll have to give in more often .
Mommy to Bradley, 8/2011, the love of my life
I had stitch/es (I'm not sure if it was just one or more.) But, intercourse hurt for approx 6 months for me then. That was with DD1. With DD2 I had a emergency C section, and no pain down there at all. With DS, I tore again (vbac). I had no stitches. My mom is a dr and said that was now general rules around here, unless it's really really bad no stitches. She said they say you heal faster.
Well, with DD1 and the stitch/es it only hurt during intercourse. It didn't hurt at all any other time. With DS and no stitches, it hurt pretty bad unless I medicated myself with some form of pain medication a couple of times a day. (I didn't even take pain meds after the c-section! I took none at all whatsoever with DD1! NONE!) But, with out the stitches, yeah I needed meds for about 2 weeks just so I could pee with out screaming! And I had to use a squirt bottle each time I peed and rinse, no TP at all for about a month. Just too painful. However, after about 4 weeks all the pain was gone, and no problems with intercourse either.
So I have figured out, while recovery with out stitches is MUCH more painful, they are right, at least with me, it was faster.
oh and just as a little more TMI, lol I was in so much pain this time with the tearing, and I wasn't taking pain meds, I asked my mom to look cause I was afraid it was infected, cause often times pain=infection. Any way she said some medical terms I can't remember, and but I figured meant it was bad. lol And then said it was a pretty bad cut, and in fact was kind of shocked that at that level of a tear the dr didn't stitch it, even though they don't really do stitching any more, she said general rules were at the level of tear I was, even though they don't generally stitch any more, they would at the level I was torn. Any way, that's when I decided to just take the pain meds. lol But, even with that level of tear, I still feel I recovered faster with out the stitches. I too was scared with DD2 how long it would take to no longer feel like he was touching a sun burn! And then this time with DS, with me screaming just to pee, we didn't try anything till at least that was over, then I was scared omg if with DD1 and there was no pain except for during sex, what was going to happen this time with all the pain I had with just peeing, or really even just sitting! But, nope, drs were right recovered faster and haven't had any pain at all this time around, once it healed.
Last edited by @llli*magnoliahoney; January 14th, 2012 at 11:21 PM.
Wife to Vincent since 2001
Lela 2006 EPed 2 1/2 Years
~Donavon & Jeremy~ 2009
Belle 2010 Nursed over a year
Raphael 2011 Nursing like a champ
Raphael & Hubs
If for some reason I just DO IT...I can't relax enough to enjoy it. I am constantly thinking about my lo. ugh [/QUOTE]
WoW!! So relieving to hear I'm not alone! DH and I just had 2 talks recently about our sex life. It's sooo tough!
I have no desire ! But yet he's got a high libido. Lucky me...lol!!
And to make things worse I deal with pain as well.
Totally understand katmar...low libido,exhaustion and pain...not a great combo. I had an emergency c-section..so I don't think it was the birth. I've had pain issues before...they diagnosed me with vaginismus a few years back.
Anyways, this can be pretty tough. For now hubby and I agreed to start with reconnecting better....more affection, etc. We were already losing that, so hopefully non-sexual intimacy will help me with the sexual intimacy.
Good luck ladies!
Let me know any tips that work for you. I like the scheduling idea, but he doesn't know.
Last edited by @llli*lovinmommyhood; January 15th, 2012 at 12:37 AM.
1st time mommy to lil D 2/19/11
Well ladies this is why I am glad that you are all here. When I first was writing this I contemplated not sending it due to the TMI. But I am glad that I did, it is nice to know that this is normal and that I am not alone. Hopefully it will come back soon and not feel like so much of a chore.
I am Klisti, I married my best friend Kris two years ago.
The love of my life, Wyatt 8-28-11 AKA the little dude