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Thread: Bad wifey

  1. #31
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
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    2,944

    Default Re: Bad wifey

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*mommal View Post
    Once you can be reliably sure that your baby is going to sleep for at least a couple of hours after you put him/her to bed in the evening or for a nap, that's when you sneak it in. But you're never quite sure that you won't be very rudely interrupted! A lot of mamas talk aout their babies' "sex radar"- mama and partner get it on, and baby wakes up!
    It's more like, OK, put him down, now hurry up cause you only have a few minutes.
    Proud mom of 2:
    DD 5/2008 nursed for 3 years and 3 months.
    DS born 8/2011 nursing like a champ

    Sorry for the short responses...always, always, always NAK or holding a baby

  2. #32
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Location
    Lehigh Acres, Florida
    Posts
    151

    Default Re: Bad wifey

    My husband also says that I must not find him attractive anymore cause I don't want sex. I think men are more needy and self conscious then us ladies.

    If for some reason I just DO IT...I can't relax enough to enjoy it. I am constantly thinking about my lo. ugh

    Married to Josh 05/07/2005
    Grace 12/17/2006 FF
    Emma 01/22/2008 EP
    Frank 06/26/2011 EBF

    "While breastfeeding may not seem like the right choice for every parent, it is the best choice for every baby" Amy Spangler

    **** 8 beautiful months and going strong ****

  3. #33
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Posts
    466

    Default Re: Bad wifey

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*mallory3kids View Post
    If for some reason I just DO IT...I can't relax enough to enjoy it. I am constantly thinking about my lo. ugh
    me too
    march 2011... the light of my life

    i love my little one

  4. #34
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Posts
    429

    Default Re: Bad wifey

    Oh my goodness! I am soooooooo glad I am not the only one! I was starting to feel like I was broken! My poor hubby says I am always blowing him off and I'm like no I'm not it's just soooooo hard to be in the mood! The minute I have DD1 in bed (almost 3 yrs) and DD2 (Born 8/29/11) to bed and my head touches the pillow I just sink in and never want to move again! Or like he'll wake up during the middle of the night during a night feeding, I'll get her back to bed (crib is in our room) and lay back down and he wants it. I'm like, REALLY?!?! Ulg! I so wish I could give it to him more without it feeling like such a chore! Twice a week is my goal too! Hubby would be more happy with EVERY DAY! I guess that's what I get for being a young mom and having a young hubby lol.
    Melissa

    Young SAHM of
    Afton (A1) (1/24/09) and
    Autumn (A2) (8/29/11)

    Sealed in the SLC Temple

    and and now CDing!

  5. #35
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Posts
    151

    Default Re: Bad wifey

    Maybe this is tmi, andd if so Im sorry, but at btwn 3-4 mos pp I was still tremendously sore. We tried; I ended up in tears. That definitely put us both off for a while! Now it's still sore at first, feels like I've been having too much rather than not enough. We work through it, but on top of the low libido and exhaustion, its hard to want to. Does anyone else have soreness still, too? And i only had one stitch, and doc even said that one wasn't necessary!

    I have to say, also, the experience of birth may have forever changed my desire for sex. I used to be all into my sexuality, Barbara Kruger and Georgia O'Keefe, yeah!, but now I think it sometimes actually terrifies me. The clitoris is still great, but Sex really makes human beings! Good lord, thank you, no!
    Kate

    Mother to a sweet boy, born at 34 weeks on 2/11/11.
    Proud that I grew 26 lbs of baby before solids, and still counting...

    We received banked milk in the NICU. Thank you, donors!!!

  6. #36
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    818

    Default Re: Bad wifey

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*katmar View Post
    but now I think it sometimes actually terrifies me. The clitoris is still great, but Sex really makes human beings! Good lord, thank you, no!
    this is me too. not ready for another baby, might never be ready. that feeling overrides any desire of mine. luckily dh has pretty low libido
    Christine
    Can't believe I've been and a full-time SAHM to Elena (5/2010) for over 2 yrs!
    Mami de mi preciosa Elenita
    http://forums.llli.org/image.php?type=sigpic&userid=32384&dateline=131170  7429 OakRoseCharms Free Shipping for LLLadies just pm me! My Blog

  7. #37
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Posts
    18

    Default Re: Bad wifey

    Wow, so glad I found this, and know I'm not alone! I had a friend who got right back into the swing of things 6 weeks pp! I was so embarassed to admit how low my libido is . I consider myself lucky in this way, my husband, who's in the military, has been away since october. So he hasn't been around to bug me all that often. I think he was a bit let down he didn't get as much action when he came home for Christmas as he wanted...he'll be back in a few weeks. So I guess I'll have to give in more often .
    Mommy to Bradley, 8/2011, the love of my life

  8. #38
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Location
    Kansas
    Posts
    419

    Default Re: Bad wifey

    I had stitch/es (I'm not sure if it was just one or more.) But, intercourse hurt for approx 6 months for me then. That was with DD1. With DD2 I had a emergency C section, and no pain down there at all. With DS, I tore again (vbac). I had no stitches. My mom is a dr and said that was now general rules around here, unless it's really really bad no stitches. She said they say you heal faster.

    Well, with DD1 and the stitch/es it only hurt during intercourse. It didn't hurt at all any other time. With DS and no stitches, it hurt pretty bad unless I medicated myself with some form of pain medication a couple of times a day. (I didn't even take pain meds after the c-section! I took none at all whatsoever with DD1! NONE!) But, with out the stitches, yeah I needed meds for about 2 weeks just so I could pee with out screaming! And I had to use a squirt bottle each time I peed and rinse, no TP at all for about a month. Just too painful. However, after about 4 weeks all the pain was gone, and no problems with intercourse either.

    So I have figured out, while recovery with out stitches is MUCH more painful, they are right, at least with me, it was faster.

    oh and just as a little more TMI, lol I was in so much pain this time with the tearing, and I wasn't taking pain meds, I asked my mom to look cause I was afraid it was infected, cause often times pain=infection. Any way she said some medical terms I can't remember, and but I figured meant it was bad. lol And then said it was a pretty bad cut, and in fact was kind of shocked that at that level of a tear the dr didn't stitch it, even though they don't really do stitching any more, she said general rules were at the level of tear I was, even though they don't generally stitch any more, they would at the level I was torn. Any way, that's when I decided to just take the pain meds. lol But, even with that level of tear, I still feel I recovered faster with out the stitches. I too was scared with DD2 how long it would take to no longer feel like he was touching a sun burn! And then this time with DS, with me screaming just to pee, we didn't try anything till at least that was over, then I was scared omg if with DD1 and there was no pain except for during sex, what was going to happen this time with all the pain I had with just peeing, or really even just sitting! But, nope, drs were right recovered faster and haven't had any pain at all this time around, once it healed.
    Last edited by @llli*magnoliahoney; January 14th, 2012 at 11:21 PM.

    ~Heather~
    Wife to
    Vincent since 2001
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    Lela 2006 EPed 2 1/2 Years
    ~Donavon & Jeremy~ 2009
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  9. #39
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Location
    CA
    Posts
    52

    Default Re: Bad wifey

    If for some reason I just DO IT...I can't relax enough to enjoy it. I am constantly thinking about my lo. ugh [/QUOTE]

    So me!

    WoW!! So relieving to hear I'm not alone! DH and I just had 2 talks recently about our sex life. It's sooo tough!
    I have no desire ! But yet he's got a high libido. Lucky me...lol!!
    And to make things worse I deal with pain as well.
    Totally understand katmar...low libido,exhaustion and pain...not a great combo. I had an emergency c-section..so I don't think it was the birth. I've had pain issues before...they diagnosed me with vaginismus a few years back.
    Anyways, this can be pretty tough. For now hubby and I agreed to start with reconnecting better....more affection, etc. We were already losing that, so hopefully non-sexual intimacy will help me with the sexual intimacy.

    We'll see...

    Good luck ladies!

    Let me know any tips that work for you. I like the scheduling idea, but he doesn't know.
    Last edited by @llli*lovinmommyhood; January 15th, 2012 at 12:37 AM.
    Mercedes

    1st time mommy to lil D 2/19/11

    LOVE

  10. #40
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Posts
    418

    Default Re: Bad wifey

    Well ladies this is why I am glad that you are all here. When I first was writing this I contemplated not sending it due to the TMI. But I am glad that I did, it is nice to know that this is normal and that I am not alone. Hopefully it will come back soon and not feel like so much of a chore.
    I am Klisti, I married my best friend Kris two years ago.

    The love of my life, Wyatt 8-28-11 AKA the little dude

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