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Thread: Bad wifey

  1. #11
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Location
    Maine
    Posts
    1,805

    Default Re: Bad wifey

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*mommal View Post
    If anyone had talked to me about having a second baby when my first was 4.5 months old, I would have laughed and then kicked them in the gonads.

    Cut yourself some slack! As JoMo so rightly said, this is natural, it's physiological, and it's temporary. Until your libido bounces back, a schedule, psyching yourself up, a glass of wine, a sexy bra, and some lube can really help!
    , I totally agree. I remember one time just getting done nursing max to sleep and my DH was waiting for me in bed -- and I just felt so touched out. I felt bad, but it's not forever. I just feel it's hard to transition between nursing Mom and sexy Mama at the drop of a hat, even if your libido isn't low. Be easy on yourself, be honest with your husband "it's not you, it's the baby" .

    eta: I remember in the first several months that my needs for getting 'in the mood' had changed too. I normally could just flip the switch, but after being so tired and having a baby attached all day, it really helped to connect on an adult level and I needed that to help transition.
    Julia and Maxwell (and Dan and Haddie)
    Maxwell, born January 3, 2010
    A year on Mama's milk and still loving it

  2. #12
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Posts
    4,007

    Default Re: Bad wifey

    While scheduling sex isn't for everyone, it works for a lot of women. Making sure that you are intimate with your partner really does let them know that they aren't forgotten during this time when you seem to be consumed by baby.

    And mommal's advice about the wine/psyche up/bra/lube is great advice
    ~Jenn~


    mother of 2 boys!
    08/14/98~~03/20/08

    Birth: 7lbs 12oz, 1 year: 22lbs 11oz
    until he self-weaned 4 days before his third birthday ... still on occasion ... and happily

    ************************************************** ************************************************** *****************
    People need to understand that when they're deciding between breastmilk and formula, they're not deciding between Coke and Pepsi.... They're choosing between a live, pure substance and a dead substance made with the cheapest oils available. ~Chele Marmet

  3. #13
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Posts
    6,564

    Default Re: Bad wifey

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*sch.mommy View Post
    While scheduling sex isn't for everyone, it works for a lot of women. Making sure that you are intimate with your partner really does let them know that they aren't forgotten during this time when you seem to be consumed by baby.

    And mommal's advice about the wine/psyche up/bra/lube is great advice
    And my DH doesn't actually know there's a schedule. I just make sure that we're busy at least twice a week because any less than that and I can feel it in our relationship. Sure, it may be work, but so is keeping a relationship going longterm. Also, men equate sex with love. It's very important to them.
    Tracie

    Mommy to
    Lilah 10/08 nursed 25 months
    Beatrix 01/11 nursed 30 months

  4. #14
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Location
    Northern Cal.
    Posts
    4,984

    Default Re: Bad wifey

    All this talk of "twice a week" is making me feel like a bad wifey.



    You can call me JoMo!

    Mom to baby boy Joe, born 5/4/09 and breastfed for more than two and a half years, and baby girl Maggie, born 7/9/12.

  5. #15
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    20,860

    Default Re: Bad wifey

    Twice a week is for overachievers.
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  6. #16
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Posts
    6,564

    Default Re: Bad wifey

    That's what I think about those three times a week gals.
    Tracie

    Mommy to
    Lilah 10/08 nursed 25 months
    Beatrix 01/11 nursed 30 months

  7. #17
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Location
    Northern Cal.
    Posts
    4,984

    Default Re: Bad wifey

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*mommal View Post
    Twice a week is for overachievers.
    I'm just glad DH doesn't read these threads.


    You can call me JoMo!

    Mom to baby boy Joe, born 5/4/09 and breastfed for more than two and a half years, and baby girl Maggie, born 7/9/12.

  8. #18
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Location
    Lehigh Acres, Florida
    Posts
    151

    Default Re: Bad wifey

    All this talk of "twice a week" is making me feel like a bad wifey.
    I'm just glad DH doesn't read these threads
    and so true

    Married to Josh 05/07/2005
    Grace 12/17/2006 FF
    Emma 01/22/2008 EP
    Frank 06/26/2011 EBF

    "While breastfeeding may not seem like the right choice for every parent, it is the best choice for every baby" Amy Spangler

    **** 8 beautiful months and going strong ****

  9. #19
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    10,440

    Default Re: Bad wifey

    Your baby is 4.5 months. Cut yourself some slack. It's not going to be like this forever.

    Talk about libidos lowered...try pumping FT It has made things even worse in that department
    Susan
    Mama to my all-natural boys: Ian, 9-4-04, 11.5 lbs; Colton, 11-7-06, 9 lbs, in the water; Logan, 12-8-08, 9 lbs; Gavin, 1-18-11, 9 lbs; and an angel 1-15-06
    18+ months and for Gavin, born with an incomplete cleft lip and incomplete posterior cleft palate
    Sealed for time and eternity, 7-7-93
    Always babywearing, cosleeping and cloth diapering. Living with oppositional defiant disorder and ADHD. Ask me about cloth diapering and sewing your own diapers!

  10. #20
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    20,860

    Default Re: Bad wifey

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*joe.s.mom View Post
    I'm just glad DH doesn't read these threads.
    Good lord, can you imagine?
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

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