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Thread: constant late night feeds! please help

  1. #1

    Default constant late night feeds! please help

    Hi all,
    I'm new to all this, but I'm in desperate need of advice. My lo is 9.5 weeks old, gaining weight well and I'm solely breastfeeding. She's a really happy baby and I've always had a good 5 hrs sleep from her but my problem is she feeds all the time there is no pattern and from 6pm she doesn't stop until 230am! Admittedly then she will sleep through til sometimes 8 feed again then sleep til 11! I know that's a great amount of sleep but at the wrong time. Were both active parents and its our fault as we've never had a routine as such, from 8pm lights our off and tv is low 9pm we bath her but she's really not getting it and as my husband works and is up at 6am I find from 11pm I'm on my own constantly feeding her. It's becoming lonely and more difficult. Any advice ? Would formula at night maybe help me to establish that its bedtime?

    Thanks all

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Location
    Murray, UT
    Posts
    63

    Default Re: constant late night feeds! please he

    Establishing a good bedtime routine worked wonders for us. We start between 7 and 8, start with a bath or lotion, brush teeth, read a book, rock with dad, time to sleep.

    We also co-sleep with the crib pushed up against the bed like shown here http://www.drmomma.org/2010/01/turn-...cosleeper.html, which also helps tremendously, because on the nights where my LO does nurse practically all night, I never have to really wake up.

    And to answer your question, no, formula won't help with sleeping. My SIL tried that with her DS when he was 2mo and it seemed to actually make his sleeping worse.
    -Arin

    Sealed for time and eternity to Chris on 08/26/10
    Mom to Ezra 06/24/11
    and Rebekah 12/27/13
    Proudly

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Posts
    169

    Default Re: constant late night feeds! please he

    9.5 weeks seems a little young yet for her to develop a more reliable 'routine'. Establishing a bedtime routine now, more for your own sense of consistency can help when she starts to get a little more reliable. I'm a lot like you, in that my DH and I have never been real 'organized' with how we spend our time. We just went with the flow when my DD was as little as yours, and before we even realized what happened, she was consistently going to bed at 8:30pm and up for the day at 8:30 am, without us doing anything other than watching for when she showed signs of sleepiness. (of course we kept things quiet and the lights dim in the evenings anyway though) The nursings in between those two times, however, I will say, I've never been able to see a consistent rhyme or reason for when she nurses at night. But then again, we cosleep, and I typically don't check the time--I just snuggle her closer, nurse her, and fall back asleep. Hang in there, mama--that overwhelming sense of loss of control over what's happening tends to get better relatively quickly! And you're definitely not alone, at least on these boards--my DH works night shift 4 days out of the week, and keeps a night shift schedule on his days off...I'm truly taking care of my LO on my own! (he would be more than willing to help with caring for the baby during his nights off, but at this point in the game, LO really just needs her mommy--she's nursing almost every time she wakes up....heck, I think she nurses in her sleep most of the time, and I'm the one waking up--not fair! ) My DH has helped in other ways when he is here, by helping to clean or do dishes while I sleep. Doesn't help me feel less alone on those trying nights when DD is teething and DH is at work or in the other room, but at least I feel less frazzled when I wake up and see a clean kitchen.
    First time mommy to Anika Jo, born 6/27/11 at home
    Love to , and . Cloth diapering full time, and part-time ECing-- my baby pees and poos in her little pink potty!
    I blog: www.the-whole-life.blogspot.com

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Posts
    183

    Default Re: constant late night feeds! please he

    You can do it!

    As with PPs, I also find co-sleeping to be a sanity saver. My LO nurses several times at night still, but I'm not fully awake during these nursing sessions. I can actually get my LO to "stay in bed" (semi-asleep, asleep, or nursing) for a good 10 hour stretch if so desired. Granted, he wakes probably 5 times to nurse (we don't go more than 3=4 hrs without nursing most nights), but regardless -- I get to be in bed!
    3/2011 {EBF to 6mos, now BF and BLS, CD, EC'ing since 5mos - in underwear at 11mos, and babywearing}
    Babywearing International has chapters - see if there's one near you... most have lending libraries!

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Posts
    151

    Default Re: constant late night feeds! please he

    Agree with pps. Really, we didn't start to get a real routine until about 5 months, so I would think 10 weeks is early to look for it. It sounds funny, but I look back on the pre-routine months with some fondness : I could stay up late nursing him to watch a movie, or go into town at any time. Now the naps and bedtimes rule our lives. Try to enjoy the flexibility while you can...
    Kate

    Mother to a sweet boy, born at 34 weeks on 2/11/11.
    Proud that I grew 26 lbs of baby before solids, and still counting...

    We received banked milk in the NICU. Thank you, donors!!!

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Miami, Fl
    Posts
    268

    Default Re: constant late night feeds! please he

    I agree with pp. Co-sleeping is what saved me the first time around and its saving me this time around too. Although, this time I have the pack & play "bassinet next to my bed, since my hubby decided to bring back our 2 yr. old back into our bed and its getting crowded (Thank God for king size beds). I also believe in a little routine, although I can tell you that things will change constantly once you have a pattern (teething, growth spurts, etc). In the end, things change and do get better. Hang in there...
    Working mommy to Cat, Nikki, Brandon and baby Lucas
    exclusively for the second time!
    we made it 21 months with previous son and 9 months and counting with Lucas

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Posts
    5,735

    Default Re: constant late night feeds! please he

    I've always had a good 5 hrs sleep from her but my problem is she feeds all the time there is no pattern and from 6pm she doesn't stop until 230am! Admittedly then she will sleep through til sometimes 8 feed again then sleep til 11!
    I know this is probably not what you want to hear but not only is that a normal sleep pattern, I would even say that is a good long stretch for a baby this young. Sleeping 'through the night' for a baby is defined as 5 hours uninterupted sleep, and for many babies does not come until they are much older. If you are already getting that, and have been getting that, you are way ahead of the game.

    If you were able to get baby to sleep at 8, it would then be normal for her to wake at 1 am, and then repeatedly thereafter. That's what I had with my kids (well, more like asleep by 9 or 10 and up by 2am) Personally I would much prefer the pattern your baby is currently in.

    As baby matures, she will slowly begin to lengthen sleep time and, most likely, begin to adjust her scedule to an 8pm bedtime. But that may be a long time coming.

    Sometimes when parents have unrealistic expectations (or have friends or relatives with unrealistc expectations) of what their babies 'should' be doing, it can lead to feelings of anxiety. So relax about that. This is biologically normal, and in fact, healthy, sleep and nursing patterns.

    For loneliness at night, if you cannot or do not want to bedshare, what about turning on the TV or radio, reading a book, etc. while you nurse? I used a mini booklight at night to read when nursing. Early on with my oldest, before we had "heard' of bedsharing, I would go into another room at night to rock and nurse my baby so as not to disturb my husband. I would watch our shadow on the wall and think of all the millions of women throughout time who have kept the night shift with their infants. I felt a kinship with these women, and found I enjoyed these times of quiet solitude with my baby. Of course, once I figured out sidelying nursing and how to safely bedshare, when my oldest was 4 months old, I stayed in bed to nurse. but I'll never forget those early nights.

    Also-Nap.

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