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Thread: Breast as passifier

  1. #11

    Default Re: Breast as passifier

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*aprilsmagic View Post
    This is biologically normal. It's the wanting a baby to sleep all night that isn't.
    I don't expect her to sleep all night. It's just that she needs to be sucking ALL night long

  2. #12
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
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    5,926

    Default Re: Breast as passifier

    It can be frustrating to be up all night with a nursing bb. Are you never able to drift off to sleep at all while baby nurses? Keep trying to get baby to nurse more during the day, that may help. You say you cue feed- try offering as well. Maybe try not using pacifier during the day, maybe then baby will take it more at night? Find other times you can get more sleep, I found I got a lovely nap if I lay down with my babies and nursed during nap times and we both would drift away. Some moms find they need to go to bed earlier for a time, or sleep in if you have a husband or other partner who can trade off mornings with you. I think 4 months may be a little early for most of her ideas but the book The No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley is helpful to many moms.

    In what position are you sleeping? If side lying, can’t you have baby on the other side of you part of the night so you can lay on the other side? Also a PP mentioned laying back so baby is on top. I had to do this lots with my second and it worked nicely.

    I am aware this is not what you meant, but the frequently used phrase “baby is using mom as a pacifier" bugs me, sometimes moms are told this by doctors or family members and it makes them question their instincts. So for the sake of anyone else reading this I will point out a couple of things: A baby is not "using mom." Babies are incapable of formulating the idea of any type of manipulation. Babies simply need mom.

    Breasts are the original pacifiers. Pacifiers are a breast substitute; they fell into heavy use after most mothers were bottle feeding and were not able to comfort their babies the biologically normal way. A baby's need to comfort nurse is a healthy and necessary part of the biology of nursing and of young babyhood in general. Some nurse more than others, some nurse more at night than others, babies are individuals and their needs are not always exactly the same. But this behavior does reflect a need, not a want.

  3. #13
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Posts
    151

    Default Re: Breast as passifier

    Thank you, Meg, for writing this! I wish I could print it on cards to hand to annoying, judgemental people. My LO is still comfort nursing at almost 11 months, and while I do get tired of it, it just seems to be something he needs. Acquaintences often make me feel like I'm disorganized or spoilingn him (the whole talk of sleep "training" which sometimes makes me want to scream). I truly appreciate the general encouragement to meet the baby's needs over seeking the approval of my peers! This is why i read these forums.
    Kate

    Mother to a sweet boy, born at 34 weeks on 2/11/11.
    Proud that I grew 26 lbs of baby before solids, and still counting...

    We received banked milk in the NICU. Thank you, donors!!!

  4. #14
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
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    TX
    Posts
    2,197

    Default Re: Breast as passifier

    You're welcome! I was reassured myself by finding out that there were substances in breastmilk that prevent cavities.
    Teal

    25 May 96 and 14 January 08 and 27 February 2012

  5. #15

    Wink Re: Breast as passifier

    Meg thank you for your post. Yes I do switch sides at night but I have two herniated disks in my back and I need to sleep on my back sometimes. I will have to try to find a better position on my back that I can feed her in. I will also try to offer her the breast more often during the day. Good idea. It's funny how I don't think of some of the most simple possible solutions sometimes. I feel guilty sleeping with her during the day because I feel like I should be getting things done in that time like dishes or laundry, but whats more important than her right? I need the sleep to be a better mom so I should just get over it. So often people make me second guess my parenting style. I am young and this is my first child. I am trying to do it the most natural way possible and for me that means giver her what she needs when she needs it as often as possible. It doesn't feel right to me to let her "cry it out". I get criticized for that often. It's nice to hear that there are many people who have the same ideas as I do in this area. Most of the people who try to make these comments have no idea about breastfeeding or how important it is to me. My in-laws get upset that she is so partial to Mommy and won't let anyone else hold her. It makes me feel guilty sometimes but isn't that how it should be? I'm who she needs right now there is nothing wrong with that. Nice to get some support. Maybe her nursing all night isn't that big of a deal. A little uncomfortable for me at times but lack of sleep should be expected with a new baby. I'm sure it will work itself out eventually.

  6. #16
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
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    429

    Default Re: Breast as passifier

    I agree! Look up the Pantley Pull Off!

  7. #17

    Default Re: Breast as passifier

    Im sooooooooooooo happy I found this thread. I have a 4month old baby girl. Im having a similar problem and its good to know Im not alone. My little one will only fall asleep at nap time by using the breast as a dummy/passifier. She will only nap for 30mins at a time. Also if I try to put her down once she's sleeping she wakes up looking for the breast again. If I continue to hold her she will sleep soundly for the whole 30mins. Where as before she would fall asleep without any help and sleep for hrs at a time. If we are out in the car or with her pram she will fall asleep no problem. Other than that she always needs the breast she fall asleep.

    Bedtime is another big problem!!! I found about a week ago after her bath and feed if I put her in her cot she would moan for 10mins max and then fall asleep fine. Well that was up untill 3nights ago when it stopped working and I spent 2 nights going in and out of her room for hrs with her crying.

    The strangest thing is when she wakes for a feed at night, (normally once or twice) after her feed I can put her down in her cot awake and without a sound she goes back to sleep within 5ins.
    I have the no cry sleep soultion and started to use the tips in there last night (pantley's gentle removal plan). It went great! Baby was asleep and in her cot within 20mins, with no crying. But tonight was a whole different story. I lasted 1hr 30mins before I gave up!! (I know I should have stuck with it but after this time she just wanted to play, I was starting to feel tiered and frustrated!!!) I left her to cry for 5mins so I could take a breather.

    I then sent my sister in. She gave her a 5min cuddle, then when she was sleepy put her in her cot and after a 10second moan she was fast asleep!!!!!!

    Why did no one ever warn me how hard breastfeeding could be!!! Dont get me wrong I love breastfeeding and wish to continue as long as possible.
    Sorry to have ranted so much just need to let of some steam. And look for a bit of support from people having a similar problem. Guess it could be worse at least she doesnt want to use me as a dummy/passifier all night like some babies and i do get some sleep.

  8. #18
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
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    5,926

    Default Re: Breast as passifier

    annabellesmom said:
    I feel guilty sleeping with her during the day because I feel like I should be getting things done in that time like dishes or laundry, but whats more important than her right?
    I think this is one of the hardest lessons for moms to learn-that life will go on if the bathroom does not get cleaned this week, or dinner is take-out once again. There IS nothing else as important as your baby, which is why your mothering instincts want to respond to her needs rather than others expectations. Trust those instincts! Babies are babies for such a short time, all this will be a memory before you know it. Once I learned that no one else cared if my house was messy or not (including my husband, who did not even see the mess that I did) I let it go and napped. Of course for moms back at work or with older kids, how to handle this challenging time may need different strategies.

    I got this poem from a volunteer in the hospital where I had my oldest, and I would think about it everytime I startd stressing I was not getting enough done. http://www.llli.org/docs/00000000000...esdontkeep.pdf


    For laying on your back and nursing you may find positioing ideas here? http://www.biologicalnurturing.com/pages/recipe.html

    aaliya.s-mum said:
    Why did no one ever warn me how hard breastfeeding could be!!! Dont get me wrong I love breastfeeding and wish to continue as long as possible.
    I think it's not breastfeeding that is hard, it's being a mother to a young baby that is hard. And no one tells you because people forget how hard it is, which is why everyone is not an only child!

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