I am so frustrated right now. I feel like such a failure. I hate this feeling. I still have such pain while nursing and now I have scabs and blood in his spit-up again. It's so incredibly draining I can't even describe it. I have been giving him bottles lately because I am in pain and he is so content afterwards. Not at all like how he is on the breast, mostly because on the breast I have to sit and hold him and restrain him from thrashing around and biting and scratching me. Why do I bother? I am angry that I didn't get any information about what formula to use and how to use bottles and all of these things. I am angry that my pediatrician who is supposedly IBCLC is not listening to me! She doesn't even care. I am angry and it is making me so resentful of my son. I just don't even know what I want anymore. Breastfeeding isn't worth it. I just need to vent right now.