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Thread: I'm ready to wean, my toddler isn't...

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Posts
    166

    Default I'm ready to wean, my toddler isn't...

    I have a 21 month old son, who nurses probably 6-8 times on the weekdays and about 12-14 times on the weekends when I am around all the time... He wakes up in the middle of the night to nurse. He is not a big solids eater at all, probably because he fills up on milk. He throws horrible tantrums if I don't let him nurse, and if I am the only one around, there is no way of making him districted with anything else.
    I'm exhausted. I never thought I would nurse this long and now I am just so done with it... We just went for a week vacation with family and I literally spent half of my time sitting down nursing him... and the worst thing is - when he doesn't' really nurse, just sits there with a nipple in his mouth. It irritates the hell out of me...
    So, I figured its time to wean. But I am not sure how to do it, since "don't refuse don't offer" is not going to work for us...
    Any good advice?
    First time mommy to a wonderful baby boy, Kai, 3/26/2010
    Birth Weight: 7lb 8oz
    1 month: 9lb 6oz
    3 months: 13lb 10oz
    6 months: 17lb 1oz
    9 months: 19lb 13oz
    12 months: 21lb

    We are , love to , cloth diapering that and taking him with us everywhere.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    19,923

    Default Re: I'm ready to wean, my toddler isn't.

    First, congrats on making it to 21 months! That's terrific! Are your son's 2 year molars in yet? If he's still working on those, that could be part of the reason he's not eager to wean. Really, few babies are really ready to wean at under 2, so it's not like what you're experiencing is abnormal or something. Just frustrating!

    Weaning a kid who's not on board with the idea is more difficult, and likely will involve some tantrums and screaming. Here's what I suggest doing:
    - Start by dropping your LO's least favorite session first. Middle of the night feeds are often easiest to drop since baby is tired and sleepy and not really geared for a fight. The last sessions to go are usually the ones right before bedtime or nap.
    - Offer lots of sippy cups and snacks. Toddlers often use the breast as a snack to tide them over between meals.
    - Avoid your customary nursing locations. If you sit done in your favorite nursing chair, that's an invitation to your toddler to jump into your lap.
    - Enlist help. Toddlers don't ask to nurse when their caretaker is daddy, grandma, or a babysitter.
    - Use distraction. Most kids forget to nurse when out and about in highly stimulating surroundings.
    - Be consistent. Tantrums and screaming suck, but they also eventually stop if you are gentle and firm and teach your toddler that tantrums don't work.
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Posts
    2,586

    Default Re: I'm ready to wean, my toddler isn't.

    Good ideas already given by mommal. I think with that many nursing sessions a day (that's about how we were at that age), it can be pretty hard on mom. Distracting can work some times, giving an alternative that they really like (during the day I might offer my daughter the choice between a book or painting, both things she really enjoys). I still don't enjoy every nursing session at 29 mos but we've reached a level that we both find agreeable (which for us, is about 6x day).
    Nursed my sweet daughter 3 years, 3 mos.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Oh FFS!
    Posts
    10,008

    Default Re: I'm ready to wean, my toddler isn't.

    Mommal's suggestions are pretty much what I did with Lulu. I generally tried to be out of the house and busy doing something enjoyable with her when she wanted to nurse and I definitely avoided our "spot". Don't forget to be patient with yourself and with him.

    Mama to my little Diva: Miss K (7/15/06)
    And her little sister: Lulu Pie (3/21/09)

    "Don't toush da mango"
    One-handed typer Extraordinaire!
    My body creates, houses, nurtures and nourishes life. That is awesome.
    Kegel Kop says: TIGHTEN UP!

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