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Thread: I am at my wits end!

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
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    429

    Default I am at my wits end!

    I know this is not directly a breastfeeding issue but since DD is exclusively breastfed I am sure it pertains. DD is 4 months old and she WILL NOT go to sleep without crying! (No we never let her cry it out) we rock and bounce and soothe and do whatever we can while she is screaming her head off. The second she knows we are about to put her to sleep she freaks out! She is super happy and fine all day until it comes time for naps or bed time. She is a frequent night waker as well. She sleeps in a crib in our room about a foot from my bed. I was considering doing side car with it but I don't know how that would really help as the main issue is that she won't GO to sleep in the first place! It takes us HOURS sometimes to get her to sleep! She won't fall asleep nursing, I have too much milk for her to comfort nurse much. She refuses binki's. I am reading the No Cry Sleep Solution and TRYING to imply some of the techniques but right now she is with DH in our room literally screaming her head off as he tries to get her to sleep!!! This is our second baby. I do not know what else to do. I have tried EVERYTHING I can think of! Including time. I'm just so lost and need major major help and support.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
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    COUGARTOWN Baby! From here on in!
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    17,465

    Default Re: I am at my wits end!

    Have you tried swaddling?

    Way too lazy for formula

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
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    429

    Default Re: I am at my wits end!

    Yes we used to swaddle and stopped after a month or so. Maybe I'll try again. Just to see. DD1 was swaddled for 6 months. Guess it couldn't hurt to try. We do have a miracle blanket.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
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    Default Re: I am at my wits end!

    And also....you said as soon as you try to put her to sleep...are you saying as soon as you try to lay her down in her crib and walk away? Because crying about that is a pretty normal reaction. She may not want you to do that. I'd try either swaddling and walking and shushing first and then laying her down. Or wearing her to sleep and then taking the wrap off and swaddling with it so she is wrapped in your scent. My 6 year old still doesn't like to lay down by himself. It's a pretty common reaction to being left alone in the dark.

    Way too lazy for formula

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
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    10,440

    Default Re: I am at my wits end!

    Try putting her in a sling and just walking around. Don't make a big deal out of it. I think some kids realize the bedtime routine is an end to the party and get upset and react like this.

    I had a couple kids like this. DH would just hold them while watching TV and they would fall asleep. Eventually. Then he brought them to me, and we coslept and they nursed, despite me with a vast OS.
    Susan
    Mama to my all-natural boys: Ian, 9-4-04, 11.5 lbs; Colton, 11-7-06, 9 lbs, in the water; Logan, 12-8-08, 9 lbs; Gavin, 1-18-11, 9 lbs; and an angel 1-15-06
    18+ months and for Gavin, born with an incomplete cleft lip and incomplete posterior cleft palate
    Sealed for time and eternity, 7-7-93
    Always babywearing, cosleeping and cloth diapering. Living with oppositional defiant disorder and ADHD. Ask me about cloth diapering and sewing your own diapers!

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
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    429

    Default Re: I am at my wits end!

    No we don't lay her down when we try to put her to sleep we rock and bounce and shush and sing. Everything. I have tried wearing her she really fights it.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    10,440

    Default Re: I am at my wits end!

    Then perhaps try the opposite..."I don't really care if you go to sleep." Turn the lights down, snuggle up with her, but if she wants to roll around, let her. Give her some time to settle. She might surprise you
    Susan
    Mama to my all-natural boys: Ian, 9-4-04, 11.5 lbs; Colton, 11-7-06, 9 lbs, in the water; Logan, 12-8-08, 9 lbs; Gavin, 1-18-11, 9 lbs; and an angel 1-15-06
    18+ months and for Gavin, born with an incomplete cleft lip and incomplete posterior cleft palate
    Sealed for time and eternity, 7-7-93
    Always babywearing, cosleeping and cloth diapering. Living with oppositional defiant disorder and ADHD. Ask me about cloth diapering and sewing your own diapers!

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Posts
    65

    Default Re: I am at my wits end!

    Our Bubs told us loud and clear a few weeks ago that he was done with co-sleeping. We were just too much stimulation for him at night! He woke up three or four times a night until we started putting him to bed in his own room. I know I probably will get my mommy merit badge revoked for this, but he's slept through the night ever since we put him in his own room. He's 5.5 months old now and what we do is around 6-7pm, daddy goes up and gets him into his pjs and gives him a snuggle, we give him a final loooooooooooong nursing session (Or if I am in pain, I give him a bottle.) with the lights down very low. Then as he finishes nursing, daddy goes up and rocks him a bit while he is content with a full belly, and we put him down onto his tummy. I know, I know; it's the only way he sleeps. So there ya go. He just needed his own room and full belly. It is super frustrating when they don't sleep (Mine still doesn't nap, so I have no clue what to do there) and I suspect that it's just a developmental thing. They sleep when they are ready to sleep.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Location
    Denver, Co.
    Posts
    1,164

    Default Re: I am at my wits end!

    This is why I coslept til my daughter was 18 months old.

    Christine
    Baby Girl Born 2/17/10 to her two mommies
    BF from day one. I looked up one day and realized I'm nursing a toddler!

  10. #10

    Default Re: I am at my wits end!

    Hi, I just joined the website today as I'm having a very similar problem! My daughter is also 4months, and for the past month she has started refusing to nurse to sleep as well - sometimes she will, sometimes she won't. The past few nights it has taken me several hours to get her to go to sleep, then she is often awake again within half an hour, and then most hours through the night. Sometimes again taking a few hours to go back to sleep.... I really feel your pain! I've had her in a sidecar arrangement, but the past week I've begun co-sleeping again just to try and get a bit of extra sleep. It has helped a little. Also sitting on a gym ball and bouncing with her has helped sometimes. I've tried Pantley's solutions, she just screams as soon as my husband tries to get her to go to sleep!!! M\aybe it's just their age?! I'm also considering moving her into her own room - when I finally get round to decorating it! I hope you get some answers, I will keep my eye on the thread for any words of wisdom!

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