I had emotional problems after my son was born. I think I understand what you are feeling. I didn't want my ds around. I just knew he had to be because succeeding at breastfeeding was more important to me than anything else at that time. Breastfeeding my son helped cement a bond between us. It communicated love to him when I couldnt bring myself to communicate it in other ways. I waited three years before taking charge and doing something about my problems and for my own, my son's and my husband's sake I WISH I had done something about it sooner. I will not tell you that I am perfect now, quite the opposite. I still struggle with wanting him around at least once a day but the good thing is that he doesn't need me as much now. So, I encourage you to talk to your doctor. Be honest with him/her like you have been here and seek therapy and/or meds. In another thread you stated that you aren't taking them so you can breastfeed but that is unnecessary. There are antidepressants safe for use while nursing. I also encourage you to NOT give up on breastfeeding. The health benefits alone are enough reason to keep at it. It gets easier. Before long, breastfeeding will be easier than preparing and cleaning/sterilizing bottles and nipples. Breasts are always clean and ready.
How much help do you have? A spouse or boyfriend to give baths, change diapers, hold baby, bring her to you to nurse, rock, change her clothes, play with her while you bathe or exercise or read for 20 minutes? Having help is important for a new mother.