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Thread: New mom in need of help

  1. #1

    Default New mom in need of help

    I NEVER though I'd contemplate formula (I am very into all natural -- I had a natural labor for example) but I am in so much pain and having horrible thoughts, like dreading the baby waking up because I have to feed her... that formula seems like a better option. She must be able to feel my negative energy about it all. I had a consultant come the other day and things are better but not perfect. I think a ton of the pain is coming from my nipples that need to heal (I have Dr. Neumann's cream and it is doing wonders but not healed yet). Here are my questions:

    When will my nipples heal? Approximate guesses welcome
    People keep saying it gets better, when? I would love an idea so I can push through this horrible time
    When do you go from feeding every three hours to every 4? I HATE waking her to feed her and the less I have to do it the happier I think we'll all be
    Is it an option to pump and bottle feed her, if so, how would I go about that? WIll it totally mess up my milk supply?
    Where can I find a La Leche meeting to get some advice from moms who love breast feeding so I can see what I am missing.

    Thank you for your help...

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Location
    Maryland
    Posts
    524

    Default Re: New mom in need of help

    I'm so sorry that you are off to a rough start!

    What is the cause of the nipple pain (thrush, bad latch, etc)? I think that makes a difference with the time that it will take to heal. If it is from a bad latch, and the latch is now correct, I wouldn't expect it to take too long to heal. You have to make sure the latch is good every time though.

    It DEFINITELY does get better! For me, I was exclusively pumping for two months because DS wasn't getting enough milk at the breast. It was awful. It took until he was about 4 months old before things started to be easier. But, I think it took so long because we had a late start at the breast. Now, he's 10 months old and it's WONDERFUL. It is soooo much easier than formula and I am so thankful that I stuck with it.

    In terms of the lengths between feedings, that really depends on the baby. DS used to be every 2 hours in the daytime, and now he's every 3. At night, he wakes me up anywhere from every hour to every 6 hours. It just depends. Are you waking your DD up at night? Unless she is having weight gain issues, I don't think you need to do that. You should wait for her to wake *you* up (or for your boobs to need her to eat, heh).

    I would not recommend pumping and bottle feeding. It's a pain in the butt and you could end up with an oversupply and nipple confusion.

    You should be able to find a local LL group here: http://www.llli.org/ and select the country, etc towards the top.

    Hang in there! It will be worth it!
    ~ Megan

    Mommy to Alex (born 2/27/11) and Katie (born 3/31/14)

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Posts
    2,944

    Default Re: New mom in need of help

    how old ia baby?
    have you looked at medela shells for sore nipples - they can help heal you faster.
    How is baby's latch?
    Proud mom of 2:
    DD 5/2008 nursed for 3 years and 3 months.
    DS born 8/2011 nursing like a champ

    Sorry for the short responses...always, always, always NAK or holding a baby

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    Oregon
    Posts
    51

    Default Re: New mom in need of help

    I was having a lot of pain at first too. My second baby sucks very hard and bit with his gums at first, but had a pretty good latch. I had a nurse give me a type of shield that wasn't for feeding is was a breast pad replacement. They are called a soft shell breast soothers and they were great! I could leave them to have air, heal, and not be rubbed and rubbed. I just had to bear it for a while and it started to get better around 3 to 4 weeks. I am 6 weeks in now with my second baby and it feels much better. I only get tender when he is cluster feeding during a growth spurt (like right now).

    Try not to supplement or offer a bottle because it take these first four to six weeks to establish a good milk supply. I think that a breast feeding sheild and/or soft shells will be the way to go. You can also ice your nipples as well.

    Hugs, good luck, and hang in there!
    Jen

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Location
    Northern Cal.
    Posts
    4,984

    Default Re: New mom in need of help

    You've gotten some great tips here. I just want to urge you to stick with it a bit longer. I had a really hard start to breastfeeding and it hurt a lot for a long time. I had to grit my teeth through feedings, and I worried, like you, that my baby would sense my dread of feedings. But I kept working to resolve our issues and figure out WHY I was in so much pain (in my case, it was latch, then mastitis, then thrush - lucky me!). I just would NOT. GIVE. UP. My mother had failed to breastfeed me due to pain, and I just wasn't going to let that happen to me. Sure enough, I was able to resolve my issues, and went on to have a very lovely and loooong breastfeeding relationship with my child. I have no doubt that my child will remember (whether in a clear way or in a more physical memory way) the closeness of our years of breastfeeding, rather than my flinching in the first few weeks.

    It is hard to believe, but breastfeeding will become a cuddly, nurturing, sweet thing for you and your baby. I can't tell you when (I saw the promised six week "hump" come and go without huge improvement, myself, but by two months, things were a lot better for me), but I can tell you it will happen.

    P.S. Some babies never go from nursing every 3 hours to nursing every 4. Mine pretty much nursed every two hours, day and night, or more frequently, until he was nearly weaned. That said, you'll find that when nursing is not painful, this is really not a hardship. And my baby woke me up to nurse, not the other way around. By two months or so, you should be able to let your child sleep if they are gaining weight well, etc.
    Last edited by @llli*joe.s.mom; December 27th, 2011 at 03:17 PM.


    You can call me JoMo!

    Mom to baby boy Joe, born 5/4/09 and breastfed for more than two and a half years, and baby girl Maggie, born 7/9/12.

  6. #6

    Default Re: New mom in need of help

    Thank you ladies; i sincerely appreciate all your feedback. I have since gotten the Madela sore nipple shields. Im hoping that will be helpful. Will continue to work on it.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Location
    Northern Cal.
    Posts
    4,984

    Default Re: New mom in need of help

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*purpetal View Post
    Thank you ladies; i sincerely appreciate all your feedback. I have since gotten the Madela sore nipple shields. Im hoping that will be helpful. Will continue to work on it.
    Hopefully, if your nipples just need to heal, the ointment and the shields will do the trick. If they don't, you may have another issue, like thrush. Keep working on it, keep looking for answers: You will resolve this pain.

    I highly, highly recommend finding and contacting your local LLL group.


    You can call me JoMo!

    Mom to baby boy Joe, born 5/4/09 and breastfed for more than two and a half years, and baby girl Maggie, born 7/9/12.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Posts
    5,430

    Default Re: New mom in need of help

    I know what you mean about the negative energy, I feard that myself as my first two weeks with my first baby, which were hell. But ultimately I was very glad I stuck with it despite that.

    Your post leaves me with many questions. I don't know how old your baby is and don't know why you are feeding on a scedule or why you are needing to wake your baby to nurse. You may need to do that (wake baby) but that is usually only in the first two weeks and then only if there is slow weight gain, and the usual reccomendation in that case is to nurse every TWO hours, not three. But in most cases, its really best and less likely to cause breastfeeding problems if you cue feed, which means, feed baby whenever baby shows a cue or whenever you want, as long as that is AT LEAST 10 -12 times in 24 hours. (And wake baby if baby is not feeding that frequently, but most healthy babies will cue you plenty.)This pattern is generally true for at least the first 6 weeks, after that, some babies may nurse in a less frequent pattern & its OK, but cue feeding is still important. Most young babies (and many older ones) nurse in a cluster feeding pattern, where they nurse very frequently (ever hour or even more frequently) for part of the day and then take longer breaks here and there. This actually works out much better than sceduling in the long run if you think about it, because over time those breaks can let you get longer bits of sleep. Believe it or not, more frequent nursing usually HELPS with sore nipples because a frequently fed, cue fed baby tends to be calm when latching which makes a big difference, and also moms breasts are kept softer and easier to latch onto by the frequent milk removal.

    But I have no idea if this applies to you because I don't have the details of your situation. This is why it can be very helpful to talk with a LLL Leader and/or a lactation consultant when you are having breastfeeding difficulties, and if one helper did not help, or did not quite get you there, then try another.

    I have found that often when a mom is worried about how often she has to feed her baby, the real issue is she is finding breastfeeding difficult due to nipple pain and/or back, shoulder and neck strain or discomfort due to using nursing positions that are uncomfortable, and/or is not getting enough help or support at home. The first two issues are definitely fixable and the last one often is too. These intense early days are very intense, but they are over before you know it. Nursing should not hurt or be uncomfortable. It should even be enjoyable! If you are ready to give up nursing due to nipple pain, I strongly urge you to to talk to your IBCLC again or see another one or at least please talk to a LLL Leader.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Location
    Kentucky
    Posts
    83

    Default Re: New mom in need of help

    I had all the same problems you are describing with DD2. I was in EXCRUCIATING pain each time she nursed and by the time she was about 10 days old, I could not handle it any longer. No matter what I did, she continued to latch incorrectly and cause my nipples to bleed. Like you, I began using Dr. Newman's miracle ointment and in no time I was healed up. Finally after 10 days (and lots of kicking and screaming during latch-on), I finally had to stop nursing and begin pumping every three hours to bottle-feed DD. Obviously most would think this is not ideal, but I had no choice! My pain was worse than any labor pain. I pumped and bottle-fed (4 oz. every 3 hours; she only took 3 of those oz.) for 3 1/2 days. Once my nipples were 95% healed, I started using a nipple shield and working on DD's latch. Within a week or so, she weaned from the nipple shield and latched on without any difficulty! I would not be nursing to this day if not for Dr. Newman's cream and nipple shields
    ~Sarah

    Married to the love of my life, Jordan

    SAHM to Caleb (4/14/08) nursed for 19 months.
    Phoebe Grace (4/20/10), and 20 mths and counting!
    with #3, due May 2012

  10. #10

    Default Re: New mom in need of help

    Hi again. Thnks for all the advice and personal stories. My DD is 10 days old to answer that question. I am going to ask the pediatrician tomorrow if I can let DD lead the might feeding schedule.
    And I emailed a local la leche leader.

    Question; some feedings are 20mins some are and hour and twenty mins. Is this ok?

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