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Thread: Sleep issues/help/advice

  1. #11
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    Jun 2011
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    Default Re: Sleep issues/help/advice

    Sometimes what they need when they're crying is to sleep. When we did the cio thing, we never let it escalate to a level that sounded like a freak out, but he did cry. It took about 3 nights, and it was hard, but now he goes into his crib drowsy but awake and moans and sings himself to sleep, never cries. now we know when he does cry there is something wrong, like teething, too cold, too hot. Its made the house a lot more relaxed and he is a lot better rested not waking every 2 hour for comfort from us. Its a personal decision but it has worked for us.

  2. #12
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    Nov 2011
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    Default Re: Sleep issues/help/advice

    Hmph...I always waver between crying it out...I've tried gentle ways (Pantley's no crying solutions) and they have worked to a certain extent but he still wakes up 4/5 times a night (better than 7!). Most of the time it's not hunger (at 4am it usually is)...I'm all for comfort nursing but its really tough being up at 3, 4:30,and 6 for comfort nursings because when he finally gets up around 7 for the day i feel like a zombie! I'm starting school in a week and a half and I'm nervous that I wont be able to function like a normal person. I know its normal for babies at his age (he is just about 6 months) but I wonder if I should try a little crying...I just dont want to agitate him and upset both of us in the middle of the night and early mornings...how do I know if its right for us? (I should add that he naps pretty well. 45 minutes every 1.5-2 hours with usually an hour and a half nap around noon).

  3. #13
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    Nov 2010
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    Texas
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    818

    Default Re: Sleep issues/help/advice

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*emommy706 View Post
    I'm all for comfort nursing but its really tough being up at 3, 4:30,and 6 for comfort nursings because when he finally gets up around 7 for the day i feel like a zombie!
    How are you comfort nursing--do you have to get out of bed to nurse? Is having baby in the bed or very close to the bed an option? Could DH bring the baby to bed for you so you wouldn't have to get up for one of those feedings?

    What time do you go to sleep?Would going to bed earlier help out at all with the zombie part until you get this figured out?
    Christine
    Can't believe I've been and a full-time SAHM to Elena (5/2010) for over 2 yrs!
    Mami de mi preciosa Elenita
    http://forums.llli.org/image.php?type=sigpic&userid=32384&dateline=131170  7429 OakRoseCharms Free Shipping for LLLadies just pm me! My Blog

  4. #14
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    Jun 2008
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    Landof2toddlers, Oregon
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    3,113

    Default Re: Sleep issues/help/advice

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*mskalinin View Post
    Sometimes what they need when they're crying is to sleep. When we did the cio thing, we never let it escalate to a level that sounded like a freak out, but he did cry. It took about 3 nights, and it was hard, but now he goes into his crib drowsy but awake and moans and sings himself to sleep, never cries. now we know when he does cry there is something wrong, like teething, too cold, too hot. Its made the house a lot more relaxed and he is a lot better rested not waking every 2 hour for comfort from us. Its a personal decision but it has worked for us.
    I understand that every parent has to make their own choices based on their own circumstances and I have no idea what your circumstances are. But the OP said she did not want to CIO and many of us on here have had experience which show that refusing to feed a baby during the night has caused drop in milk supply. There is also ample research to show that CIO is not healthy for babies (or mothers) and is certainly not the norm in human society world wide nor was it in our own until relatively recently. In the interests of giving information to anyone reading this who has not done much research on baby sleep or CIO here is an article from Psychology Today. I have certainly had my baby get over tired to the point of crying and meltdown and I have held and rocked that baby to sleep so he/she knew mama would always be there him/her.
    proud but exhausted working mammy to two high needs babies

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  5. #15
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    Jun 2011
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    Default Re: Sleep issues/help/advice

    I thought the OP said she was reluctant, not adamantly opposed, so I was just sharing what worked for us. I have read a lot of the research against CIO and I think there is a huge range in what is considered CIO and learning how to sleep, so as with any research, results can be skewed towards what researchers believe. I didn't shut my son in his room alone and never see him again until morning, we worked through it together. I personally don't think its healthy for an infant to be waking multiple times per night when its not for survival (ie: hunger). I still feed my son at around 4 in the morning, which I will continue to do until he is older. I lived in Japan for a few years, where co-sleeping and bfing for extended periods is the norm. I realize there are different ways of doing things, which is why I said its a personal decision.

    Crying for extended periods of time is bad for baby, common sense tells me that is true. However, in our sleep training journey he cried less than he does in his car seat for extended road trips. I don't take him out of his car seat while driving because he is not happy, because that is dangerous. I try to help him get through the situation and I think sleep training is no more harmful to the psyche than riding in the car seat when he doesn't want to. JMO.

  6. #16
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    Nov 2011
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    Default Re: Sleep issues/help/advice

    To oakdryad5-

    We tried co-sleeping since I was very into the family bed idea but it turned into a disaster for the two of us! We would spend the whole night waking each other up...There were some nights were I would literally hold in a pee till his next waking so as to not disturb his sleep. He would end up needing to latch on at the end of every sleep cycle and it was horrid for me. Then we decided to try him sleeping in his own room which worked amazig for a few nights until he restarted the early morning craziness again at which point we moved him back into our room with his crib up against my bed. I don't believe in crying it out but here and there we have let him cry a bit because he seems to not want to nurse or be rocked (he seems restless or wanting to complain a bit before settling down). I go to bed EARLY around 9-9:30 because I know he will always do the early morning shananigans but soon I'm starting school so I will either have to be up early in the morning or go to night school and go to sleep very late and then take care of him the whole next day by myself...UUUUGH. What do I do?! Another thing-we started him on solids and all of a sudden he is dying for food ALL the time and only nurses here and there for 5 minutes :-( Then in the early morning he seems to be straining a lot to poop so he wants to nurse OR gets frustrated by the let down and just wants to be held while he pushes...The comfort nursings are usually a couple hours after he goes to bed and he is flutter sucking and not truly eating (same goes for any wakings up untill 4amish...only flutter sucking).

  7. #17
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    Nov 2010
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    Texas
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    Default Re: Sleep issues/help/advice

    how long ago did you try the co-sleeping? and how long did you try it for?

    I only ask this because for me it was a process that we both adjusted to. it was pretty uncomfortable for me getting used to sleeping on my side exclusively, but I was so exhausted and determined not to have to get up at night so I endured and now its my normal. nothing is going to work perfectly 100% of the time. all i knew in our situation was that i was getting up anyways. she was in the crib across the house, i was getting up 2-3-4 times a night anyways. so if the choice is between getting up and possibly falling asleep in a rocking chair or trying to make it work in our bed without me having to get up, we stayed in the bed. sure some nights she wakes me up, and some nights i wake her up, some nights we sleep perfectly, some mornings she sleeps in, some she wakes up super early? some nights i have to pee but i hold it so we can both sleep longer. etc.

    i'm going to preface this next sentence by highlighting that its just my opinion (as is this whole post): i think is a lot to expect of a baby to have a perfect, predictable sleep routine at so young an age (or really at any age). I'm not saying its not possible for a lot of people, or that people shouldn't try working at it, I just think its easier for mom to change her patterns.

    when you start school, you'll cope, your body will probably get used to it. baby might even adjust sleeping times to be similar to you. so if you wake up early for school, baby might wake up early too and then go to bed earlier to compensate. i'd say cross the school bridge when you get to it.

    eta: during our cosleeping journey, there were times she slept almost through the night, like 7-8 hrs sleep. then a few short months later, she was sleeping 2 hr stretches and waking up (molars), then back to 6 hrs, then back to every 3-4 (canines). im so glad i didnt transition her back to the crib when she started sttn that one time, b/c now we nurse briefly and its back to bed, i don't have to get up.
    Christine
    Can't believe I've been and a full-time SAHM to Elena (5/2010) for over 2 yrs!
    Mami de mi preciosa Elenita
    http://forums.llli.org/image.php?type=sigpic&userid=32384&dateline=131170  7429 OakRoseCharms Free Shipping for LLLadies just pm me! My Blog

  8. #18
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    Jun 2011
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    Default Re: Sleep issues/help/advice

    I am in school full time, too. What worked for us for a while (from about 5 months until 7 months I would say) was having baby in his own room, but when he woke my husband would go and get him, bring him into the bed and I would nurse him and we'd all fall back asleep. I usually woke up about 45 minutes later and would return my son to the crib in his room where he tended to sleep for another 2-3 hours. I say this worked for a while because eventually he started waking every 1-2 hours and we couldn't sustain this method anymore. We liked the arrangement while it lasted though!

  9. #19
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
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    73

    Default Re: Sleep issues/help/advice

    thanks mamas....Well we just moved into a new place so for now he will prob sleep next to us/in our bed. I just personally found I was either getting the BEST sleep or the WORST sleep when we were bed sharing. I'm sure we will find something that works eventually...and then have to switch it up again! hehe

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