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Thread: Know of any stay-at-home mommy forums?

  1. #1
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    Jun 2011
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    Unhappy Know of any stay-at-home mommy forums?

    As a stay-at-home mommy I am feeling very isolated and wondering if anyone knows of a forum to talk about SAH mommy stuff. I am still breastfeeding at 15 1/2 months but have zero support with my daughter and now I am starting to get overwhelmed. My husband works many hours to try to support us on one income while neither one of our families ever stop by to see my daughter let alone give us a hand. I love being a stay-at-home mommy but I never have 5 minutes to myself to clear my head or even shower half the time...especially with her being fussy with her molars coming in. Our financial situation isn't the greatest so I have been trying to work on starting a photography business PT (I have worked as a 2nd photographer at weddings for a few years now and have been building my professional gear over the years). However, with no time to myself, that is only a dream. I see other aquaintances starting up their businesses while I can only sit on the sidelines and watch. How do you enjoy being a stay-at-home mommy, keep up with all the housework, all laundry, all cooking, all grocery shopping, feeding the baby all meals, giving the baby all baths, changing every single diaper and being the only person up with the baby all night while she is fussy and have the energy to enjoy her? I am sorry if I am ranting because I am totally worn out...I appreciate being home with her...it is just sad when you feel like you are screaming for help from friends and family and no one hears you. If I had 1 hour to myself every 2 weeks I think I could at least recharge my batteries a bit. Anyone else feel like this? Sometimes I feel like I am being punished for staying home with her and it is breaking my heart but she means the world to me and I just want to find a balance. I know I can bring money into the house (doing photography PT on weekends) while handling the baby and everything else FT during the week if only I was allowed a break now and then to think straight.

  2. #2
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    Default Re: Know of any stay-at-home mommy forum

    I had to check the poster name to be sure I didn't write this. Except I have a son who is 15 months old. And a 5.5 year old daughter. While I don't share your enthusiasm for being a stay at home mom - I lost my job while pregnant and can't find anything that can pay enough for child care - but I too am struggling with feeling isolated, bored, overwhelmed and like I have nothing for myself. I wish I had advice but I'm struggling to find my own way. My one thing is that I insist on showering and getting dressed, even if I don't leave the house. It's one simple thing I can do for myself. Maybe for you it's leaving the house. Or talking to someone on the phone. Or eating a healthy meal. Pick one thing that refuse to give up. But set small goals or you will feel inadequate if you cannot make it.
    If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun. - Katharine Hepburn

  3. #3
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    Default Re: Know of any stay-at-home mommy forum

    mama. I think it's safe to say most sah moms feel that way at least some of the time. I know I do, and I have a better support system than you described for yourself. I also think moms put way too much pressure on themselves. Please don't feel like you have to be supermom. Mommy guilt does exist but there is nothing wrong or selfish about taking care of yourself. And honestly, you deserve more than 1 hour every 2 weeks to yourself.
    I am Lea (middle name)
    Mama to Dominic born on 3/23/09
    Wife to G 4/27/07
    We're blessed to have been for 3 years and counting! Proud to with our squirmy worm

    "My home is not a place, it is people."
    -Lois McMaster Bujold

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Know of any stay-at-home mommy forum

    I get what you mean. I'm a temp SAHM. Got laid off and am waiting a little to go back to work. It's hard work being home with 2 kids all day and even though my DH is home at 5 he's only so much help because the kids want ME. Try to lower your expectations - like of having a spotless house and being the perfect mom/wife. I rarely ever have dinner ready when DH gets home. I might get the dishes done, and SOME laundry..but that's it. When I try to meet those expectations I really get depressed. I see other SAHM's on the internet with business and such and looking as they get so much done and wonder what the heck they are doing, how do they do it? And I realized that's it's easy to get caught up in the way other people are projecting themselves online. Hope that made some sense...
    Proud mom of 2:
    DD 5/2008 nursed for 3 years and 3 months.
    DS born 8/2011 nursing like a champ

    Sorry for the short responses...always, always, always NAK or holding a baby

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
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    Default Re: Know of any stay-at-home mommy forum

    Yeah I agree with trying to find a few local moms, too, although I do get a lot of support here or from my other mom friends in real life but through e-mail because we're too far away. Do you have a church or anything in your community? My church has a MOPS (mothers of preschoolers) group that a lot of moms find helpful. Definitely nap with your child, I don't have a choice because my little girl has to nap with me (only recently have gotten her to sleep not latched on) but you need some rest.
    Nursed my sweet daughter 3 years, 3 mos.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
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    Default Re: Know of any stay-at-home mommy forum

    In my area, there are a lot of stay at home mommy groups on meetup.com. I work full time so I tend to join the working mommy's groups, but there are more stay at home mommy groups. they get together to run/walk, have coffee, playdates. that will help you meet other moms and not feel as isolated.
    Full time working Mom to 3, DH is my hero as a SAHD:
    DS July'09, nursed for 12 weeks
    DD1 & DD2 April'11, tandem nursed for 16 months

  7. #7
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    Default Re: Know of any stay-at-home mommy forum

    Also, don't underestimate the job that you do everyday. It's not glamorous, there aren't bonuses or raises but it IS rewarding. You'll see all of your hard work pay off.
    I am Lea (middle name)
    Mama to Dominic born on 3/23/09
    Wife to G 4/27/07
    We're blessed to have been for 3 years and counting! Proud to with our squirmy worm

    "My home is not a place, it is people."
    -Lois McMaster Bujold

  8. #8
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    Landof2toddlers, Oregon
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    Default Re: Know of any stay-at-home mommy forum

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*kst.7399 View Post
    I had to check the poster name to be sure I didn't write this. Except I have a son who is 15 months old. And a 5.5 year old daughter. While I don't share your enthusiasm for being a stay at home mom - I lost my job while pregnant and can't find anything that can pay enough for child care - but I too am struggling with feeling isolated, bored, overwhelmed and like I have nothing for myself. I wish I had advice but I'm struggling to find my own way. My one thing is that I insist on showering and getting dressed, even if I don't leave the house. It's one simple thing I can do for myself. Maybe for you it's leaving the house. Or talking to someone on the phone. Or eating a healthy meal. Pick one thing that refuse to give up. But set small goals or you will feel inadequate if you cannot make it.
    exactly. For me I need to leave the house.
    proud but exhausted working mammy to two high needs babies

    • my surprise baby: the one and only D-Man born 3 weeks late (5/5/08) at 9 lbs 14 oz and 21.5 inches, and
    • the shock H-Girl born about a week late (10/7/09) at 8lbs 15oz and 20.75 inches.


    If I am here I am covered in baby (probably two) and fighting for control of the keyboard.

    Family beds are awesome

    Wondering if you have PPD? Take the screening and see your doctor. You deserve to feel better.

  9. #9
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    Nov 2010
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    Default Re: Know of any stay-at-home mommy forum

    I have felt exactly as you did too, and still feel that way every couple of weeks. It comes and goes, sometimes with the weather!
    I with the pps, especially Brooke's advice!

    Doing things in small chunks and reserving naptime for leisure pursuits or sleep in particular are so important for me to feel sane!! Also lumping tasks together. If I'm going to do dishes, I do them when LO is confined in her high chair eating a snack, so we did 2 tasks at once. Or I'll lock us in my bathroom, put away all temptations for her (toilet paper , plunger, etc) give her something to do in a high chair (stickers or a pencil and paper) and take a quick shower. If I have to fold laundry, I'll have her help me to the best of my ability.

    But the biggest hardest thing I've had to learn to do is ask for help from DH on the weekend and to stick to my guns when he resists giving it, and even when he balks at it. You'd think that after 20 months of this he'd have it down that I need a break, but I still have to make my needs clearly and explicitly known to him such as honey, I am going to be going out for 2 hours saturday. I will leave you our precious lovely angel child during that time with a full belly and napping somewhere and with plenty of snacks and activities for when she wakes up. I can bring you take out on my return since I will not be cooking dinner tonight..etc. And during that time you can work on your photography stuff on a laptop somewhere in a coffee shop, or you can go out and just be alone and free. This is so vital. And when you get back you feel so great and recharged and ready to be a mommy again.

    As far as working on your photo stuff that is a great goal to have and don't let it go. You may work on it a little at a time, but its something you will have after your baby grows up and doesn't need you so much. That is what I tell myself with my schoolwork/dissertation. Just keep on chipping away at it, make plans, and know that things will come together faster than you think.

    I'm not sure if there's a SAHM thread around, maybe in commonalities, but if there is can someone bump it?
    Christine
    Can't believe I've been and a full-time SAHM to Elena (5/2010) for over 2 yrs!
    Mami de mi preciosa Elenita
    http://forums.llli.org/image.php?type=sigpic&userid=32384&dateline=131170  7429 OakRoseCharms Free Shipping for LLLadies just pm me! My Blog

  10. #10
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    Nov 2008
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    Default Re: Know of any stay-at-home mommy forum

    I have to come to terms with the fact that I AM a SAHM now. It was not my intention. I was to stay at home for 1 year and then go back to work. Then I got let go, I'm preggo again and we can't afford for me to get less than the package offers. So we'll ride it to completion and then hope that our savings hold out during my maternity time with LO3. Either way, I'm a SAHM and will be for some time. I think I've been in denial.

    I think the isolation is the worst. It causes frustration. You don't feel that anyone understands. It gets you into a funk that is so hard to get out of. It just seeps into everything.
    Mommy to our DD1 early bird (34 weeks, 2 days, 7lbs, 14oz)! Oct. 2nd, 2008 Emergency C-Section, Frank Breech, HEALTHY Girl!
    Weaned @ 17 months
    Our DD2 early bird (37 weeks, 3 days, 7lbs, 12oz) Aug. 10th, 2010 Our Successful VBAC, growing like a bad weed!
    Weaned @ 15 months
    Our DD3 early bird (37 weeks, 3 days, 7lbs, 6oz) Feb. 16th, 2012 Our 2nd VBAC and lightening speedy birth!

    Loving being a Mom of 3, 40 months apart!!
    and

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