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Thread: questions about bfing beyond 1

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
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    Default questions about bfing beyond 1

    I had always assumed I would stop breastfeeding my son at age 1 (we'll, to be honest when I was younger I was opposed to the idea of nursing at all). Now that DS is almost oneN he just seems so small, and so attached to me and nursing, that I can't see myself stopping right away. DH lived in south america for awhile and they nurse their children for years so he is fine with whatever. My MIL is very pro bfing also. My sitters and other friends don't seem to be, however. My BIL (DH's brother), who takes care of my son some of the days I work has made it clear that he thinks it is weird to nurse babies after they can talk.
    I was reading that the WHO says to bf babies until they are at least 2. I am not sure if I will go that long, but definitely until at least 16 months. Here are my questions. How often do you bf a toddler? Should bfing continue to be a primary source of nutrition and, if so, how long is that the case? How do you start the weaning process, when I am ready? And how do I deal with the people who are against continuing to bf after 1?
    Please excuse my typos, I am always NAK.

    DS since 1/30/11

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
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    Default Re: questions about bfing beyond 1

    You already started the weaning process the first time you gave LO anything other than mama milk

    How to nurse a toddler...just like you did with a baby. But as a toddler gets older, you can put a few limits on them. For example, my older two pulled my clothes off while nursing. So NIP was limited to when I knew they would get down to business and eat, no hanging out at the breast unless we were at home.

    BFing is gradually taken over by other foods. IME, it wasn't like just one day, we stopped. It was more they were more interested in eating solids. I didn't offer before meals. And it was fine.

    I too never thought I'd nurse much past 6 weeks. Then when #1 was 12 months, I realized he was still a baby and needed to continue nursing, and I just kept going
    Susan
    Mama to my all-natural boys: Ian, 9-4-04, 11.5 lbs; Colton, 11-7-06, 9 lbs, in the water; Logan, 12-8-08, 9 lbs; Gavin, 1-18-11, 9 lbs; and an angel 1-15-06
    18+ months and for Gavin, born with an incomplete cleft lip and incomplete posterior cleft palate
    Sealed for time and eternity, 7-7-93
    Always babywearing, cosleeping and cloth diapering. Living with oppositional defiant disorder and ADHD. Ask me about cloth diapering and sewing your own diapers!

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
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    Default Re: questions about bfing beyond 1

    with susan.

    I'd say how much you end up nursing the toddler is up to you to an extent. I'm at home most of the time so we end up nursing a lot, but I know if we were to go out a lot more she would be much more distracted and it would be easier for us to skip feedings and it would be ok since she eats solid food now. I enjoy nursing her still so I haven't tried to actively skip feedings. When you get there, just see how you feel about it and decide then.

    As far as others, IME people who only seem to feel weird about it are swayed by confidence. There's a difference between people who are openly against it ("That is disgusting! How could anyone do that?!") and people who just feel weird or uncomfortable b/c they don't know any better. The weirded out people responded to my confidence. They saw how happy and thriving my LO was, how normal, how happy I was and how things didn't really seem all that different to pre-1. Those people I have found now are ok with it b/c they saw me as the example of what before they knew nothing about. I have yet to meet any of the openly against it people though I know they do exist.

    Keep on keepin on!
    Christine
    Can't believe I've been and a full-time SAHM to Elena (5/2010) for over 2 yrs!
    Mami de mi preciosa Elenita
    http://forums.llli.org/image.php?type=sigpic&userid=32384&dateline=131170  7429 OakRoseCharms Free Shipping for LLLadies just pm me! My Blog

  4. #4
    Join Date
    May 2010
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    Default Re: questions about bfing beyond 1

    I agree with the above posters.

    It's actually hard to believe my daughter will be 2 in February and is still nursing. I figured I'd nurse her, but I never really figured we'd go this far. But she still very much needs it. In fact, she tells me "I NEED NU!" And she really does.

    One thing that has been very helpful for me is to teach my daughter sign language and a code word for nursing. She calls nursing and "boobs" - NuNus. She uses the sign language sign for "more" and says "NuNu." This is helpful to me because she can communicate with me to request it, but she's not screaming BOOBS or whatever. She also has a sign to give me rather than trying to rip my shirt off - which I would not allow. This helps me feel more comfortable because it feels more discreet. People don't know what she means by NuNu. Other moms use the Nummies and a variety of other words.

    I highly suggest a code word.

    ETA: I have also basically quit nursing her in public - in front of people or behind closed doors (like a nursing lounge at the mall). This has helped a lot. I quit doing NIP when she was maybe 13 or 15 months old?? Now I will only do it if she's really injured or I'm desperate for a solution to help comfort her. That has helped me as well. I needed to put limits on things. It makes me feel more comfortable with it.

    And for what it's worth, your baby was already "asking" for nursing the day he was born. Babies communicate to nurse with physical motions when they are born.
    Last edited by @llli*yoginimama; December 12th, 2011 at 11:44 PM.

    Christine
    Baby Girl Born 2/17/10 to her two mommies
    BF from day one. I looked up one day and realized I'm nursing a toddler!

  5. #5
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    Jun 2009
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    Default Re: questions about bfing beyond 1

    DH lived in south america for awhile and they nurse their children for years so he is fine with whatever. My MIL is very pro bfing also. My sitters and other friends don't seem to be, however. My BIL (DH's brother), who takes care of my son some of the days I work has made it clear that he thinks it is weird to nurse babies after they can talk.
    Having the support of your husband is a huge advantage if you wish to keep nursing. Also a plus to have MIL on board. Does it really matter what your sitters think?

    And how do I deal with the people who are against continuing to bf after 1?
    This is your personal parenting choice and at it's heart it only invloves two people-you and your child. You won't be there nursing your child while they are babysitting. (Unless you plan to nurse at pick up or dropoff and that is your perogative.) If you give them your pumped milk for them to give your toddler to drink when you are not there, that is your business. How is that any different than asking the sitter to give the baby cow milk instead of juice or soy milk instead of dairy or whatever a moms preference may be? I would not let my kids ever have anything but my breastmilk or water as toddlers. I am sure people thought I was weird, but I thought they were weird letting their very little kids drink sugary drinks. But I respected that it was their choice.

    There is nothing weird about nursing a child into toddlerhood (or even beyond.) It's unusual, in our society, so it can be shocking the first time one encounters it. But there is nothing inherently harmful to a child or a mother about nursing past one and lots that is beneficial. You could try educating people who are 'against' breastfeding past one, or you could just say 'this is my child and this is the healthiest choice."
    I suggest you get in touch with your local La Leche League. Some groups have special
    toddler meetings' meetings just for moms nursing past one, which are great, but any LLL meeting will certainly welcome you and you nursing toddler. It's helpful to have support for your choices from other moms.

    There is also a very wonderful book all about this subject called "Mothering Your Nursing Toddler."
    Last edited by @llli*lllmeg; December 13th, 2011 at 01:49 AM.

  6. #6
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    Default Re: questions about bfing beyond 1

    that is too funny yoginimama! i live in bolivia where the aymara people, who make up a big part of the population, have the word "ñyu-ñyu", which means nipples. since our baby girl was born, that's the word we use for my breasts/breastmilk/nursing, as in "ready for ñyu-ñyu, baby?" too funny to hear someone else use it, or at least something so close sounding to it as that..
    ♥♥♥♥ baby girl born 4-14-2011 ♥♥♥♥
    ♥♥♥♥ baby girl born 11-14-2013 ♥♥♥♥

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
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    Default Re: questions about bfing beyond 1

    Thank you for the info. Part of my not wanting to nurse much past 1 (previously) was because I was looking forward to not pumping anymore. I hate pumping. I worry if I stop, though, and give him coconut or almond milk (we aren't giving him cow's milk) that I won't be able to nurse him on demand on my days off. I currently work 8-10 hours 3 days a week and 4 hours on the 4th. I would like to be able to still nurse him on demand without having to pump more than once (none if I can) on the days I work. Right now I only pump twice. Since he doesn't eat at night either now, I worry about my supply going down. Any advice here? The idea of pumping for another year sounds very discouraging.
    Please excuse my typos, I am always NAK.

    DS since 1/30/11

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
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    Default Re: questions about bfing beyond 1

    oh no, you do not need to continue pumping if you don't want to. Alot of us quit pumping around one and went on to nurse for YEARS after that. I'd suggest slowly pump weaning. There a few ways - cut the time you are pumping or cut out one session at a time. Do what feels right to you. I cut one session for a week and then stopped because that was ok for me. No engorgement, etc. But I nursed at lunch so I was only going 4 hrs between nursing sessions.
    Proud mom of 2:
    DD 5/2008 nursed for 3 years and 3 months.
    DS born 8/2011 nursing like a champ

    Sorry for the short responses...always, always, always NAK or holding a baby

  9. #9
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    Default Re: questions about bfing beyond 1

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*mellowtrouble View Post
    that is too funny yoginimama! i live in bolivia where the aymara people, who make up a big part of the population, have the word "ñyu-ñyu", which means nipples. since our baby girl was born, that's the word we use for my breasts/breastmilk/nursing, as in "ready for ñyu-ñyu, baby?" too funny to hear someone else use it, or at least something so close sounding to it as that..
    We thought we made it up! My partner's mom used to call boobs something like NuNus. I liked it more than Nummies. So funny! I wonder if she had heard this other word elsewhere? Her husband was in the military - so maybe!

    Christine
    Baby Girl Born 2/17/10 to her two mommies
    BF from day one. I looked up one day and realized I'm nursing a toddler!

  10. #10
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    miles from nowhere
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    Default Re: questions about bfing beyond 1

    Once you get a year into it your supply is well established and you don't have to pump regularly to keep it up. You can quit pumping and if you are still nursing 3-4 times per day you don't have to provide any kind of milk substitute, though you can if you want. My daughter wouldn't drink cow's milk so we just sent solid foods and water to day care once she hit about 13 mos old. It just depends on your kiddo. I was down to only pumping once a day by that time so I just stopped pumping cold turkey, kept the pump around for a week or two just in case I got painfully engorged, but I never used it.

    You don't have to do anything to deal with people who think it's weird. It's none of their business.
    “We are not put on earth for ourselves, but are placed here for each other. If you are there always for others, then in time of need, someone will be there for you.”
    --Anonymous

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