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Thread: How else do I get the point across?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
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    Question How else do I get the point across?

    So, another annoyance with my mother...
    I handled this one better but she is not hearing what I'm saying. DD woke up at 3 this morning and fussed off and on till 3:45 when i got up because she wasn't going back to sleep (she had been fussing for a minute then go back to sleep for a few and repeat). Made the mistake of telling my mom and she immediately says there is something wrong w/ DD. Umm no! She keeps wanting/thinking I need to say something to the pedi on the 29th but I don't think its an issue of concern. Yes I would like more sleep but DD is EBF w/ me and given pumped milk during the day while I'm at work. I told my mom that BM digests quicker than formula and she's a baby, she's going to wake up! I consider myself VERY lucky she typically only wakes once! How do you ladies deal with family constantly going against BF? I told my mom that I wasn't going to say anything to the pedi because its normal and she will probably do this for as long as she is BF and that it was not something i was going to give up.

    Oh, I wanted to start my own purees this month and have those ready after our 6 mo. appt but again, my mom is sounding put out by me wanting to do that and she won't be feeding the food anyways! I love to cook and bake and i don't care if the food has the same ingredients as the store. It's what I want to do. Me, not her.

    Arg!!
    Addison Nicole changed my world on June 21, 2011
    12:33 pm
    7 lb 4 oz
    19"


    EBF 11.5 months!

    Sadie Lynn completed our family on August 7, 2013
    12:46 pm
    8 lb (even)

    20.5"

  2. #2
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    Nov 2008
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    Default Re: How else do I get the point across?

    Just don't say anything and when she asks say "everything is great!"
    Is your baby waking at other times during the night? Maybe she's hungry. Teething also messes with their sleep.
    Proud mom of 2:
    DD 5/2008 nursed for 3 years and 3 months.
    DS born 8/2011 nursing like a champ

    Sorry for the short responses...always, always, always NAK or holding a baby

  3. #3
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    Default Re: How else do I get the point across?

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*babygirl05 View Post
    Just don't say anything and when she asks say "everything is great!"
    Talking about it sort of seems to invite problem-solving, even if that was not the intent.
    Teal

    25 May 96 and 14 January 08 and 27 February 2012

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
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    10,440

    Default Re: How else do I get the point across?

    Sounds like she thinks she still needs to be YOUR mom and fix everything, even when you don't want it fixed. You are just going to have to not talk to her about things.

    I'd be annoyed that she doesn't want to do what I want to do to feed my child with the purees.
    Susan
    Mama to my all-natural boys: Ian, 9-4-04, 11.5 lbs; Colton, 11-7-06, 9 lbs, in the water; Logan, 12-8-08, 9 lbs; Gavin, 1-18-11, 9 lbs; and an angel 1-15-06
    18+ months and for Gavin, born with an incomplete cleft lip and incomplete posterior cleft palate
    Sealed for time and eternity, 7-7-93
    Always babywearing, cosleeping and cloth diapering. Living with oppositional defiant disorder and ADHD. Ask me about cloth diapering and sewing your own diapers!

  5. #5
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    Default Re: How else do I get the point across?

    I deal with similar things with my husbands grandmother. She breastfed 5 children till they were 4months. Without fail, every time we are together she asks me when I am going to wean my lo. GRRRR It's very annoying and I have yet to find the best thing to say to put her in her place

    If I were you, I would just leave her out of the loop. She doesn't need to know everything that goes on anyways

    Married to Josh 05/07/2005
    Grace 12/17/2006 FF
    Emma 01/22/2008 EP
    Frank 06/26/2011 EBF

    "While breastfeeding may not seem like the right choice for every parent, it is the best choice for every baby" Amy Spangler

    **** 8 beautiful months and going strong ****

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
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    Default Re: How else do I get the point across?

    When my mom does things like that, I say I'll bring it up at the next doctor's appointment. Then after the next appointment, I tell her whatever I would have responded anyway, but I say that the doctor said it. Then she listens, and it's not an issue. And when it comes to sleep, I usually don't say much, if anything.

    In terms of the food, you're right. It's your decision, and your mom should respect that. But if she doesn't, either don't tell her, or get very good at saying, "Thanks for your advice, but this is what works for us." Or in my case, I just say "thanks for your advice" and then just do what I want. It's easier for me that way
    First time mom to DS, born 2/21/2011.

    due with #2 6/26/2014

  7. #7
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    Default Re: How else do I get the point across?

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*mallory3kids View Post
    Without fail, every time we are together she asks me when I am going to wean my lo. GRRRR It's very annoying and I have yet to find the best thing to say to put her in her place
    Before COLLEGE usually works

    And I just wouldn't complain or say anything to your mom about her nightwaking. Come here and vent if you need to
    All over the world there exists in every society a small group of women who feel themselves strongly attracted to giving care to other women during pregnancy and childbirth. Failure to make use of this group of highly motivated people is regrettable and a sin against the principle of subsidiary. ~ Dr. Kloosterman, Chief of OB/GYN, Univ. of Amsterdam, Holland


    **Leslie**

    Mama to:
    Shiloh (5/6/06) Nursed for 13 months and Josephine (7/26/08) Nursed for 23.5 mos Currently nursing my new little firecracker, Finley Catherine, born on the 4th of July!!

  8. #8
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    Default Re: How else do I get the point across?

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*Leslie View Post
    And I just wouldn't complain or say anything to your mom about her nightwaking. Come here and vent if you need to
    Of course, though, if it's only once a night that you're waking up, you might not get too much sympathy.

    Also, waking up doesn't have anything to do with breastfeeding. My friends have formula fed babies and they wake up at night. There wouldn't be a whole industry around getting babies to sleep longer (books, products, etc.) if the only reason they woke up was because they were breastfed.

  9. #9
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    Default Re: How else do I get the point across?

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*mommy2lilah View Post
    Of course, though, if it's only once a night that you're waking up, you might not get too much sympathy.

    Also, waking up doesn't have anything to do with breastfeeding. My friends have formula fed babies and they wake up at night. There wouldn't be a whole industry around getting babies to sleep longer (books, products, etc.) if the only reason they woke up was because they were breastfed.
    Touche. And my 3.5 still wakes at night and she's been done nursing for 18mos.
    All over the world there exists in every society a small group of women who feel themselves strongly attracted to giving care to other women during pregnancy and childbirth. Failure to make use of this group of highly motivated people is regrettable and a sin against the principle of subsidiary. ~ Dr. Kloosterman, Chief of OB/GYN, Univ. of Amsterdam, Holland


    **Leslie**

    Mama to:
    Shiloh (5/6/06) Nursed for 13 months and Josephine (7/26/08) Nursed for 23.5 mos Currently nursing my new little firecracker, Finley Catherine, born on the 4th of July!!

  10. #10
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    Ontario, Canada
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    Default Re: How else do I get the point across?

    You're entitled to the occasional slip up. Learning to "know my audience" has been one of the toughest lessons I've had to learn as a Mom. If I wasn't going to get the type of response I wanted, I wouldn't talk to that individual about it. Of course it would happen from time to time. I'd have a moment and forget who I was talking to. But they were few and far between.

    As for talking to your pediatrician about it, again, you have to know your audience. Sleep is not about health. Pediatricians are about health. Although they may have an opinion about it, so will your mechanic. I'd just say you brought it up and that the doctor said how lucky you are that the baby only wakes up once. More often is the norm.
    Mommy to our DD1 early bird (34 weeks, 2 days, 7lbs, 14oz)! Oct. 2nd, 2008 Emergency C-Section, Frank Breech, HEALTHY Girl!
    Weaned @ 17 months
    Our DD2 early bird (37 weeks, 3 days, 7lbs, 12oz) Aug. 10th, 2010 Our Successful VBAC, growing like a bad weed!
    Weaned @ 15 months
    Our DD3 early bird (37 weeks, 3 days, 7lbs, 6oz) Feb. 16th, 2012 Our 2nd VBAC and lightening speedy birth!

    Loving being a Mom of 3, 40 months apart!!
    and

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