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Thread: problems with our 4 day old....

  1. #11
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
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    Hacienda Heights
    Posts
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    Default Re: problems with our 4 day old....

    Okay..babies R us tomorrow then. i almost ordered it off Wal-mart's site. but I'll to get one tomorrow.

    I watched the videos... GREAT resource. The latches look WAY different then what we have going on here. One thing I noticed was the rubbing of the upper lip. I we'll try that.

    We'll keep trying. I'm working on finding those early warning signs...I notice them most of the time now, but it seems like we're in the middle of something. Need an early warning sign... =) I can see it happening now, she is showering, and he is asleep. I KNOW he's going to wake up soon and want to feed...my luck is he'll wake up while she is still in the shower and i'm out of mothers milk..... =) ah the life...lol....
    1st Time mom to a health baby boy
    Trying to learn how to and keep it up with
    Hubby has my back

  2. #12
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Location
    Denver, Co.
    Posts
    1,164

    Default Re: problems with our 4 day old....

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*ajnkat View Post
    Okay..babies R us tomorrow then. i almost ordered it off Wal-mart's site. but I'll to get one tomorrow.

    I watched the videos... GREAT resource. The latches look WAY different then what we have going on here. One thing I noticed was the rubbing of the upper lip. I we'll try that.

    We'll keep trying. I'm working on finding those early warning signs...I notice them most of the time now, but it seems like we're in the middle of something. Need an early warning sign... =) I can see it happening now, she is showering, and he is asleep. I KNOW he's going to wake up soon and want to feed...my luck is he'll wake up while she is still in the shower and i'm out of mothers milk..... =) ah the life...lol....
    They will often smack their lips and chew on their hands when hungry. Jack Newman's site rules.

    Your wife also can take her breast and make a "sandwich" to help him get more in his mouth. This is a pretty good video of that I just found: http://youtu.be/b_U5BM6L9F8

    Keep on, Keeping on.

    Christine
    Baby Girl Born 2/17/10 to her two mommies
    BF from day one. I looked up one day and realized I'm nursing a toddler!

  3. #13
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Location
    Shakedown St.
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    1,176

    Default Re: problems with our 4 day old....

    The hospital where I delivered is fantastic and, in general, very bf-friendly. However, the two LCs that checked in with us while we were there were pretty useless (didn't know that at the time because I had never breastfed before). I think this is pretty common with hospital LCs. Try to find an IBCLC if possible. The LLL meeting will be really helpful too.

    It's crazy frustrating trying to nurse a very young newborn for most of us, and hands on help can be really useful even if it is just to reassure you that what you are experiencing is normal. If there is indeed a problem then an IBCLC will be better equipped to troubleshoot with you. Just try to remember that it does get much easier, and this part doesn't last that long.

  4. #14
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    Hacienda Heights
    Posts
    16

    Default Re: problems with our 4 day old....

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*yoginimama View Post
    They will often smack their lips and chew on their hands when hungry. Jack Newman's site rules.

    Your wife also can take her breast and make a "sandwich" to help him get more in his mouth. This is a pretty good video of that I just found: http://youtu.be/b_U5BM6L9F8

    Keep on, Keeping on.
    Okay...I've seen that. they will do that also when they wake from a nap too?

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*phi View Post
    The hospital where I delivered is fantastic and, in general, very bf-friendly. However, the two LCs that checked in with us while we were there were pretty useless (didn't know that at the time because I had never breastfed before). I think this is pretty common with hospital LCs. Try to find an IBCLC if possible. The LLL meeting will be really helpful too.

    It's crazy frustrating trying to nurse a very young newborn for most of us, and hands on help can be really useful even if it is just to reassure you that what you are experiencing is normal. If there is indeed a problem then an IBCLC will be better equipped to troubleshoot with you. Just try to remember that it does get much easier, and this part doesn't last that long.
    I think Tuesday we'll be looking up a IBCLC
    1st Time mom to a health baby boy
    Trying to learn how to and keep it up with
    Hubby has my back

  5. #15
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    SoCal
    Posts
    6,467

    Default Re: problems with our 4 day old....

    http://www.ilca.org/i4a/pages/index.cfm?pageid=3432

    That link will provide a list of IBCLC
    Mommy to Maxwell 10-9-07 weaned with love (a party and a remote control monster truck) on his 4th birthday
    My Boy 3-16-10
    And my sweet pea Sam 2-12-11

    Watch Your Language

  6. #16
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Posts
    13

    Default Re: problems with our 4 day old....

    My baby boy was born 4 weeks early and was 4lb 11oz when he was born and his mouth was too small. I tried getting him to latch for two days and wasn't having any success, then the hospital gave me a nipple shield and he latched on right now. Maybe this can help your wife as well...

  7. #17
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    Ontario, Canada
    Posts
    2,476

    Default Re: problems with our 4 day old....

    I know it's frustrating, but please, be patient. Baby is still so young. It's okay that they're still on the learning curve. You're giving her a great support system and you guys are going to get some great resources working for you.
    Mommy to our DD1 early bird (34 weeks, 2 days, 7lbs, 14oz)! Oct. 2nd, 2008 Emergency C-Section, Frank Breech, HEALTHY Girl!
    Weaned @ 17 months
    Our DD2 early bird (37 weeks, 3 days, 7lbs, 12oz) Aug. 10th, 2010 Our Successful VBAC, growing like a bad weed!
    Weaned @ 15 months
    Our DD3 early bird (37 weeks, 3 days, 7lbs, 6oz) Feb. 16th, 2012 Our 2nd VBAC and lightening speedy birth!

    Loving being a Mom of 3, 40 months apart!!
    and

  8. #18
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Posts
    5,606

    Default Re: problems with our 4 day old....

    I hope things are going better today. At this point, you may think there are as many opinions on how to get a baby latched as there are babies. This is kind of true, because every mom and baby are unique and will 'fit together' in their own way. I suggest your wife use all the ideas as tips and suggestions and not rules. With support, She and baby will figure it out. Breastfeeding is how ALL mothers have fed ALL babies for all of human history, (until very recently.) So there is no reason for your wife to think she can't do it. Fumbling, awkwardness and some difficulty in the early days is NORMAL.

    Great you are going to a LLL meeting. Has your wife called a Leader on the phone and talked to her? That is another free service LLL offers. Call now, it's fine to call on weekends. Personally I prefer weekend calls when my husband is home and can deal with my young kids while I talk to a mom. Call as many Leaders as you want until you get someone on the line or get a call back. There is also the LLL USA helpline, which is answered by Leaders all over the country. (Sometimes it is understaffed so if you don't get someone, leave a message & call a local Leader.) If she does not like the first Leader she talks to, call another. I love it when moms call in the early days, before things have gone really off the rails. This is the best time to get help, so it is so smart you guys are reaching out now. Keep reaching out until you find help that 'clicks' for you.


    Your wife can stop worrying about how the latch looks. That does not matter. What is important is that it does not hurt & baby is getting milk, and that she is nursing frequently (at least 10-12 times in a 24 hour day.) You can tell baby is getting milk during a feeding if he is swallowing (this is subtle & quiet.) You can tell if baby is getting 'enough' over the course of a day by diaper output. If, at 4 days, he is pooping yellow, or at least transitioning to that, that is a good sign. If not, watch the pees and talk to a breastfeeding helper asap.

    As far as the baby's hand getting in the way thing, baby is trying to knead the breast. This is normal (just think of kittens.) So, while I get that it is frustrating, this is common and the reason it is a problem is that baby is in a position where he cannot get his arms around and hug the breast.

    I am a big believer in laid back positioning. This is style of nursing, where mom leans or lays back in a supported position and baby is draped at any angle mom prefers on top of mom. IN this position, gravity is keeping baby on mom so breastfeeding pillows are not necessary (and may get in the way.) also it's not necessary to swaddle baby, as (usually) this position allows baby to hug the breast. (If swaddling works while nursing, great, but you might want to unswaddle baby after nursing. Tight swaddling suppresses feeding cues and normal nursing behavior.) Why laid back works so well is a long story, but trust me, it very often does, especially for very young babies. But in any case, mom should just use whatever position/ideas that works best for her.

    Help mom relax. (nicely) kick visitors out or better yet, put them to work making food or doing errands or cleaning. Let mom know you will feed her and take care of any little thing that needs doing. She is the queen caring for the royal infant, so treat her as such! This is the most difficult time to be a mom, so it's time to wait on her hand and foot. Trust me, if you take good care of her during these difficult first days, she will be eternally grateful.

    laid back: http://www.llli.org/docs/00000000000...astfeeding.pdf

    laid back video: http://www.biologicalnurturing.com/video/bn3clip.html
    other positioning ideas: http://www.llli.org/faq/positioning.html
    Last edited by @llli*lllmeg; December 11th, 2011 at 09:27 AM. Reason: can't spell

  9. #19
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
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    Hacienda Heights
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    16

    Default Re: problems with our 4 day old....

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*lllmeg View Post
    I hope things are going better today. At this point, you may think there are as many opinions on how to get a baby latched as there are babies. This is kind of true, because every mom and baby are unique and will 'fit together' in their own way. I suggest your wife use all the ideas as tips and suggestions and not rules. With support, She and baby will figure it out. Breastfeeding is how ALL mothers have fed ALL babies for all of human history, (until very recently.) So there is no reason for your wife to think she can't do it. Fumbling, awkwardness and some difficulty in the early days is NORMAL.


    Last night...every hour he was up. Would not BF. I cup fed him. Finally around 630 he and I fell asleep in the chair until 930. From then on it was every couple hours we were feeding him. Wife was pumping as much as she could to keep up.

    Well today my mom and sister came up. This issue came up. Suggestions came up. While my mom was holding him, he started to show signs. We went up stairs and tried to get a latch. Right when he got on the nipple, he started to cry and scream. She compressed and it looked like he latched, but then nothing.

    Wife is tired of talking about it with family.


    Great you are going to a LLL meeting. Has your wife called a Leader on the phone and talked to her? That is another free service LLL offers. Call now, it's fine to call on weekends. Personally I prefer weekend calls when my husband is home and can deal with my young kids while I talk to a mom. Call as many Leaders as you want until you get someone on the line or get a call back. There is also the LLL USA helpline, which is answered by Leaders all over the country. (Sometimes it is understaffed so if you don't get someone, leave a message & call a local Leader.) If she does not like the first Leader she talks to, call another. I love it when moms call in the early days, before things have gone really off the rails. This is the best time to get help, so it is so smart you guys are reaching out now. Keep reaching out until you find help that 'clicks' for you.

    Tomorrow we go to this class. we got a call from the office and its 5 women and the LC. I'm guessing that I'm not going to be invited in. I think she is going to ask for a 1 on 1 meeting. Cause I'd like to sit in on it.


    Your wife can stop worrying about how the latch looks. That does not matter. What is important is that it does not hurt & baby is getting milk, and that she is nursing frequently (at least 10-12 times in a 24 hour day.) You can tell baby is getting milk during a feeding if he is swallowing (this is subtle & quiet.) You can tell if baby is getting 'enough' over the course of a day by diaper output. If, at 4 days, he is pooping yellow, or at least transitioning to that, that is a good sign. If not, watch the pees and talk to a breastfeeding helper asap.

    Its not a look that we're basing things on per say. Although I was watching videos and trying to mimic successful latches. He latched @ the hospital but we were told it was shallow. He hasn't done it since the LC there came into the room. It's never hurt her. Him slapping and his finger nails digging into the area. His poop is starting to change color. I'm noticing its more yellow. Pee's are regular. The cup feeding seems to be working. Although I think he takes it down too quickly.

    As far as the baby's hand getting in the way thing, baby is trying to knead the breast. This is normal (just think of kittens.) So, while I get that it is frustrating, this is common and the reason it is a problem is that baby is in a position where he cannot get his arms around and hug the breast.

    My mother is thinking that since his arms are free he might be startling himself. Something to do with their arms being free does this...I don't know.

    I am a big believer in laid back positioning. This is style of nursing, where mom leans or lays back in a supported position and baby is draped at any angle mom prefers on top of mom. IN this position, gravity is keeping baby on mom so breastfeeding pillows are not necessary (and may get in the way.) also it's not necessary to swaddle baby, as (usually) this position allows baby to hug the breast. (If swaddling works while nursing, great, but you might want to unswaddle baby after nursing. Tight swaddling suppresses feeding cues and normal nursing behavior.) Why laid back works so well is a long story, but trust me, it very often does, especially for very young babies. But in any case, mom should just use whatever position/ideas that works best for her.

    We tried this last night. I'm going to try to have her chill in bed or the sofa Tuesday or maybe tomorrow morning before we go to these classes and see if just having him on there helps any. Maybe he'll casually find a nipple and start eating w/out the cry fest.

    Help mom relax. (nicely) kick visitors out or better yet, put them to work making food or doing errands or cleaning. Let mom know you will feed her and take care of any little thing that needs doing. She is the queen caring for the royal infant, so treat her as such! This is the most difficult time to be a mom, so it's time to wait on her hand and foot. Trust me, if you take good care of her during these difficult first days, she will be eternally grateful.

    I do what I can. She is stubborn and doesn't want me doing everything. I dont mind. I told her she needs to work on this more then worry about others stuff, I have to go back to work on Thursday. We live with her mom right now (moved back from Tx and have not had our arrangements met yet) so sometimes finding alone time to do stuff for the baby has been hard. Also getting comments about "this is how I did it back in my day (29 yrs ago) don't help either.) her mom didn't BF and still try's to help. I appreciate the help but when one didn't do it in the 1st place...

    laid back: http://www.llli.org/docs/00000000000...astfeeding.pdf

    laid back video: http://www.biologicalnurturing.com/video/bn3clip.html
    other positioning ideas: http://www.llli.org/faq/positioning.html

    we'll watch the videos when I get back from getting her dinner. We're going to try and get some sleep when he goes down 'cause I know he'll be up around 12 tonight...and from 12 - 6ish its going to be every hour he's up to feed.
    My reply above in bold...
    1st Time mom to a health baby boy
    Trying to learn how to and keep it up with
    Hubby has my back

  10. #20
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Location
    Denver, Co.
    Posts
    1,164

    Default Re: problems with our 4 day old....

    I was thinking about you today and wondering how things went.

    Yes, a newborn arms can flail around and startle them. Has anybody mentioned The Happiest Baby on the Block to you? Harvey Karp. He has videos that are great. The book is great too, though I think it's a bit more reading than you may be up for right now. I would swaddle him asap. It sounds like he may benefit from it. Newborns do! Basically they have been living in a place that's super noisy and really cramped for the last 10 months. Dr. Karp teaches people how to "recreate" the womb. His technique were a major lifesaver for me!!! In fact, my daughter still sleeps with the sound machine! http://youtu.be/ddRkI5wVIqQ

    If the nipple is being compressed it will hurt. It's painful to nurse on a compressed nipple. When your wife gets the baby to latch, and the baby pulls off is the nipple round like a new pencil eraser or pointy like a new lipstick? The lipstick look is a tell-tale sign of compression, but I had that for sometime without pain. If it doesn't hurt to nurse, I wouldn't worry that the latch doesn't look text book perfect. Everybody varies, but pain is the thing you worry about.

    Poop changing color is a good sign. I think that Meg has a great idea with the laid back style. That's one of the ways I finally got my daughter to latch.

    I know it's really hard and frustrating. Just keep trying to get him to latch. You are in a critical period right now. I would try to call an IBCLC right away. Is the LC at the group tomorrow an IBCLC? That's how you know they are well trained.

    Christine
    Baby Girl Born 2/17/10 to her two mommies
    BF from day one. I looked up one day and realized I'm nursing a toddler!

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