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Thread: problems with our 4 day old....

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    Hacienda Heights
    Posts
    16

    Default problems with our 4 day old....

    He wont latch. He ALWAYS keeps his hands up in the way. He's always crying when we try to feed him. My wife is in tears. Shes ready to just go to formula. I'm trying to have her keep at it but he will not work with her.

    I'm not sure he's getting a good latch. He seems to take only the nipple in. What can we do to help get a good latch (watched some videos) and what about his hands????

    in the mean time the wife does pump so we can give him what she can.

    shes frustrated!!
    1st Time mom to a health baby boy
    Trying to learn how to and keep it up with
    Hubby has my back

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Location
    TX
    Posts
    2,197

    Default Re: problems with our 4 day old....

    Sometimes it's challenging to keep those hands out of the way. Swaddling is one option. Another option is for your wife to hold them out of the way with her hands.

    How frequently is your son being put to the breast? Sometimes it can avert a crying spell if baby is put to the breast before he gets very hungry. He will be much more relaxed about his need for food, and can take his time figuring out latch and just snuggling in. Something that some moms have good results with is just spending a few days lying in bed topless with their newborns, basically snuggling skin-to-skin and offering anytime access to nursing. It helps mom and baby both feel more relaxed and more secure, and allows lots of nursing practice, outside of just the functional feeding part of nursing.

    Keep asking lots of questions! Hopefully we will be able to help you all feel more confident.

    ETA: I just recalled that your wife is pumping and I believe that you said your son was getting some of her pumped milk. Introducing a bottle this early can definitely lead to some nipple confusion and encourage a shallow latch. It might help for now to put the pump away and just offer tons of time at the breast so your son can get a good handle on the mechanics of breastfeeding, give him and your wife both a chance to associate breastfeeding with success, before introducing the bottle back in a little later.
    Teal

    25 May 96 and 14 January 08 and 27 February 2012

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    Ontario, Canada
    Posts
    2,475

    Default Re: problems with our 4 day old....

    I wanted to with Duckpond. Swaddling is a GREAT way to keep those ever reaching hands. It takes time for both Momma and Baby to learn how to breastfeed. Always put baby to the breast first, once you get a good latch, you won't need to bottle feed.
    Mommy to our DD1 early bird (34 weeks, 2 days, 7lbs, 14oz)! Oct. 2nd, 2008 Emergency C-Section, Frank Breech, HEALTHY Girl!
    Weaned @ 17 months
    Our DD2 early bird (37 weeks, 3 days, 7lbs, 12oz) Aug. 10th, 2010 Our Successful VBAC, growing like a bad weed!
    Weaned @ 15 months
    Our DD3 early bird (37 weeks, 3 days, 7lbs, 6oz) Feb. 16th, 2012 Our 2nd VBAC and lightening speedy birth!

    Loving being a Mom of 3, 40 months apart!!
    and

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    10,440

    Default Re: problems with our 4 day old....

    Practice, practice, practice.

    I had my DH hold baby's hands too.

    And the whole areole thing....get baby to take as much breast as baby can, but don't spaz about amount. If the latch is comfortable after the first 30-60 seconds, it's OK.

    Her milk is probably coming in too, and that can mess with a mama's mind. I spend that day crying over nothing, sure I'm a horrible mom Things are probably better than she thinks.
    Susan
    Mama to my all-natural boys: Ian, 9-4-04, 11.5 lbs; Colton, 11-7-06, 9 lbs, in the water; Logan, 12-8-08, 9 lbs; Gavin, 1-18-11, 9 lbs; and an angel 1-15-06
    18+ months and for Gavin, born with an incomplete cleft lip and incomplete posterior cleft palate
    Sealed for time and eternity, 7-7-93
    Always babywearing, cosleeping and cloth diapering. Living with oppositional defiant disorder and ADHD. Ask me about cloth diapering and sewing your own diapers!

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    Hacienda Heights
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    Default Re: problems with our 4 day old....

    its been like this since day one. when we pump we were spoon feeding him. right now shes laying in bed skin to skin. he just gets soooo whiny. she came upstairs with her shirt up, one of his hands tucked and he was sucking...but now, holy hell is unleashed. I think he is frustrated. I know she is.

    she is i tears right now. he just will not stop screaming.

    i did not want to bottle feed yet but we didn't know what to do. I've done a total of 2oz of formula as of last night. it got so bad that we really didn't know what to do with it...the crying/screaming was just way too bad.

    Maybe his mouth is too small??

    sorry, this reply is over about 10 min or so. she is currently pumping, ready to throw the towel in. she cannot fathom why he will not latch properly and why he screams so much. we've tried...foot ball hold, cross cradle, on her side...and the partially reclined.

    when she pumps...we are doing 10 min each side. I'd say she's getting about 1/2 oz or so. But he doesn't seem to be able to extract it.

    I really wish they had better latching teaching @ the hospital.
    1st Time mom to a health baby boy
    Trying to learn how to and keep it up with
    Hubby has my back

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    Hacienda Heights
    Posts
    16

    Default Re: problems with our 4 day old....

    well after her pumping 10 min on each side...she was able to get just under 1oz. Thats WAY more then earlier.

    I read her the suggestions while she was pumping. We are going to do what we can with the skin to skin. I like that idea, I think it will help. Gonna be hard tomorrow as my mom & sister are coming up from San Diego, but we'll do what we can.

    -AJ
    1st Time mom to a health baby boy
    Trying to learn how to and keep it up with
    Hubby has my back

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    Ontario, Canada
    Posts
    2,475

    Default Re: problems with our 4 day old....

    Can you call the hospital and ask to see a lactation consultant? There should be some sort of breast feeding support offered by the hospital. Or maybe see if there is an LLL Leader in your area? Having someone there, in the know to help guide her will probably be a Godsend to them both.

    Maybe this will help: http://www.kellymom.com/bf/normal/newborn-nursing.html
    Mommy to our DD1 early bird (34 weeks, 2 days, 7lbs, 14oz)! Oct. 2nd, 2008 Emergency C-Section, Frank Breech, HEALTHY Girl!
    Weaned @ 17 months
    Our DD2 early bird (37 weeks, 3 days, 7lbs, 12oz) Aug. 10th, 2010 Our Successful VBAC, growing like a bad weed!
    Weaned @ 15 months
    Our DD3 early bird (37 weeks, 3 days, 7lbs, 6oz) Feb. 16th, 2012 Our 2nd VBAC and lightening speedy birth!

    Loving being a Mom of 3, 40 months apart!!
    and

  8. #8
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Location
    Denver, Co.
    Posts
    1,164

    Default Re: problems with our 4 day old....

    I would make calls to get her seen by an IBCLC right away.

    At that age, the only way I could get my daughter properly latched was to wear the BrestFriend nursing pillow. It helped me with positioning like no other. It was truly a lifesaver. I tried positioning with pillows and all of the holds - but the BrestFriend was the only thing that worked. http://www.walmart.com/ip/My-Brest-F...isley/11977715

    ETA: This is the granddaddy of all videos for nursing. They were helpful to me. http://www.breastfeedinginc.ca/conte...agename=videos

    This one may help you specifically: http://www.breastfeedinginc.ca/conte...me=vid-babyled
    Last edited by @llli*yoginimama; December 10th, 2011 at 11:18 PM.

    Christine
    Baby Girl Born 2/17/10 to her two mommies
    BF from day one. I looked up one day and realized I'm nursing a toddler!

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    Hacienda Heights
    Posts
    16

    Default Re: problems with our 4 day old....

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*amysmom View Post
    Can you call the hospital and ask to see a lactation consultant? There should be some sort of breast feeding support offered by the hospital. Or maybe see if there is an LLL Leader in your area? Having someone there, in the know to help guide her will probably be a Godsend to them both.

    Maybe this will help: http://www.kellymom.com/bf/normal/newborn-nursing.html
    this hospital is BF friendly. we had a LC come talk to us. That's why we're frustrated about the level of service there. Wife was told to pump for about 3 min to get her left nipple to come out more. Okay, we did it. No change. He will not latch. I was just watching him about 10 min ago, I swear it looks like his mouth is not big enought.

    There are quite a few LLL leaders in the area. There is a meeting Monday night and we'll be there. I'm really hoping she joins up or some type of mothers group, I think it would Really help her. I remember growing up and my mom was part of a play group....this was 33 years ago...

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*yoginimama View Post
    I would make calls to get her seen by an IBCLC right away.

    At that age, the only way I could get my daughter properly latched was to wear the BreastFriend nursing pillow. It helped me with positioning like no other. It was truly a lifesaver. I tried positioning with pillows and all of the holds - but the BreastFriend was the only thing that worked. http://www.walmart.com/ip/My-Brest-F...isley/11977715

    ETA: This is the granddaddy of all videos for nursing. They were helpful to me. http://www.breastfeedinginc.ca/conte...agename=videos

    This one may help you specifically: http://www.breastfeedinginc.ca/conte...me=vid-babyled
    someone got her a boppy...not sure how close those are. But I'll have her look @ it, or I'll just go buy it...

    I'll sit her down and watch the vids with her.

    I just spoon fed him a small amount of her milk and he knocked out. I cannot believe how power full mothers milk is. I still cannot believe she pumped almost 1oz in 20 min...from what I read that's a lot.
    1st Time mom to a health baby boy
    Trying to learn how to and keep it up with
    Hubby has my back

  10. #10
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Location
    Denver, Co.
    Posts
    1,164

    Default Re: problems with our 4 day old....

    In my personal opinion, the Boppy is worthless for feeding a newborn. It's curved on top and the baby rolls. It has really great marketing making people think it's the best nursing pillow. In all honesty, I couldn't use a Boppy until my daughter got closer to a year!!

    They sell the BrestFriend online at Walmart (Walmart does not sell it in store. Don't waste your time there). That's the cheapest you'll find it. BUT you wife needs it - like yesterday. They do sell them at Babies R Us in the store and Buy Buy Baby. You may pay a little more there, but it's worth every penny. You sound like a good man to me. Go get her that pillow! The Deluxe is worth the extra few bucks. That's what I have. I give it to every new mom who wants to nurse for their shower. That's how much I believe in that pillow. My family called it my "life preserver." The Deluxe even features a handy dandy pocket in which I kept snacks and my phone.

    When you get the pillow, your wife should put it up higher than she will think. It is placed just under your breasts sort of around your rib cage NOT around your waist.

    http://www.mybrestfriend.com/store-locator/

    ETA: it's possible that his mouth is small. But just keep trying to latch again and again. He will grow. It will work. I had to teach my daughter to latch. She sounds just like your son. I just kept trying and trying. Your wife can do this with your support. You are very good to be here posting for her.
    Last edited by @llli*yoginimama; December 11th, 2011 at 12:02 AM.

    Christine
    Baby Girl Born 2/17/10 to her two mommies
    BF from day one. I looked up one day and realized I'm nursing a toddler!

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