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Thread: Negative effects of weaning

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
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    Default Negative effects of weaning

    I've been reading everyone's posts and it sounds like I'm not alone. WHEW! I have a 2.6 y/o DD who loves "Booba Time." I guess you could say I'm ready to be done. But, she is a screamer & cryer if she doesn't get her way. I've even gone to the point where I'll drive around just so I can skip the midday nursing session!

    Are there serious negative effects from nursing them if they don't want to at all? I really wanted her to self wean, but all sign are pointing to -------> "Booba forever."

    If she wants it, she wants it PERIOD! I've tried everything it seems. I'm a single mom, so there's no help at home.

    Any thoughts?
    Thank you for reading!
    Nursing my bug for almost 3 years YIKES!

  2. #2
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    Jun 2009
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    Default Re: Negative effects of weaning

    Do you mean are there serious negative effects from weaning them before they are ready?

    I weaned my older daughter before she was ready, at 25 months.

    How are you feeling about it? Are you wanting to wean, or do you feel like you are supposed to wean? I only weaned my daughter because nursing had become unbearable due to pregnancy. I felt that not nursing anymore was likely to be less detrimental than an angry mom when she was nursing. She does not seem to have sustained emotional damage, a year later.

  3. #3
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    Default Re: Negative effects of weaning

    It's okay to set limits on nursing. And it's okay to set limits, put your foot down, and endure the consequences. At 2 and a half, children are learning that their desires are not the only factor, and that other people's desires must also be taken into consideration. Lots of moms here have said to their children, "I'm sorry, no nursing now. We'll nurse ________ (after dinner, in the morning, before bed, etc.)." Often setting limits can make the other nursing sessions seem more voluntary and less of a burden, allowing you to continue nursing. If not, you've just reduced your nursing by one session, and you can keep doing that until there are none left. I would not go cold turkey on a small child - they wouldn't be able to understand that. But they are at the age where they can understand (to a limited extent) delayed gratification. So I'd work on that for starters. If you have a stubborn screamer & crier, this process is probably not going to be tear-free, but it can still be gentle, kwim? You can gently but firmly tell your child "no" but still offer lots of snuggles and other kinds of mama love.

    By the way, getting out of the house is a GREAT way to skip a nursing session. During the weaning phase, moms often find it helpful to get out and about, a lot. In order to wean gently, you have to put a lot of attention and love into your little one and be available in other ways. For many of us, nursing is actually easier! But that's totally your choice to make.


    You can call me JoMo!

    Mom to baby boy Joe, born 5/4/09 and breastfed for more than two and a half years, and baby girl Maggie, born 7/9/12.

  4. #4
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    Feb 2010
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    Default Re: Negative effects of weaning

    I'm 50/50 I guess. It's the midday sessions I dread and wouldn't mind if they stopped. I FINALLY got her to stop twiddling during the midday. I still let her twiddle at night and in the morning because she's sleepy & it's doesn't bother me much. For example, if I deny her a midday nursing session to sleep, she SCREAMS, cries and chases me all around the house. She will refuse to lay in her bed and may actually get violent and throw things at me and start hitting me. I live in a condo, so most of the time I give in because I have neighbors. She can't nap without the booba. She can't sleep without it in general. She's just a tough cookie. I'm wondering though, would there be long term negative effects to her if I take away the midday to nap? I can't drive around all day everyday. It's getting expensive! Or if we're in public, she'll start yelling BOOBA BOOBA BOOBA, then everyone says "what's Booba?" OMG!!!!!

    And after she wakes up from her nap, she wants it AGAIN!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOoo
    Last edited by @llli*jenny287; December 7th, 2011 at 01:12 PM.
    Nursing my bug for almost 3 years YIKES!

  5. #5
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    Default Re: Negative effects of weaning

    I don't think there are any long term negative effects from gently, sensitively weaning a 2 and a half year old. What if you start talking to her every day about how she doesn't need milkies during the day anymore, and she gets them only at bedtime and in the morning and at naps (as applicable). Just talk about it a lot. At 2.5, you'd be surprised how much children understand and it makes it easier if you talk things up in advance. You can also say, "you can nurse, but only for as long as it takes me to sing twinkle twinkle." And then when you're done singing, unlatch. Some children have an easier time dealing with shortened sessions than no session. You can also talk your child a lot about how YOU and HER need to want to nurse. Nursing is a relationship. It's not just about her.


    You can call me JoMo!

    Mom to baby boy Joe, born 5/4/09 and breastfed for more than two and a half years, and baby girl Maggie, born 7/9/12.

  6. #6
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    May 2006
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    21,152

    Default Re: Negative effects of weaning

    Right now the signs are pointing to "booba forever" but just around the corner there's a sign saying "Oh mom, booba is for babies. Can I have a story/back rub/hug/popsicle instead?"

    Kids really do self-wean if you wait long enough. Trust me, your child will not be 18 years old and still looking to nurse! I think the issue here is that you're expecting your kid to self-wean on the early end of the spectrum. Kids who are allowed to wean on their own time-table tend to do so between 2 and 5 years of age, with very few nursing more than 3-4 years. A vanishingly small minority of children may nurse longer than 5 years, but in my experience that's very rare. I have never met anyone who has nursed a kid beyond age 5, and that includes here on the forum where there are a lot of moms who are very open to extended nursing and self-weaning.

    So don't freak out. It's early for self-weaning. And if you are ready to wean, feel free to push the issue a bit and put your foot down. Yes, there's going to be some screaming and crying, but that's parenting for you!

    ETA: just read your second post and I see that you're allowing your LO to get her way in part because you're afraid of how the neighbors will react. Well, don't be. If they can't accept the noises kids make- and kids do make noise!- they should move.
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  7. #7
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    Default Re: Negative effects of weaning

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*mommal View Post
    So don't freak out. It's early for self-weaning. And if you are ready to wean, feel free to push the issue a bit and put your foot down. Yes, there's going to be some screaming and crying, but that's parenting for you!


    (Also, I think you can cut out that one most annoying session without weaning. It might make self-weaning seem like a more acceptable possibility.)


    You can call me JoMo!

    Mom to baby boy Joe, born 5/4/09 and breastfed for more than two and a half years, and baby girl Maggie, born 7/9/12.

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