Happy Mothers Breastfed Babies
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 14

Thread: Can I vent?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    Mississippi
    Posts
    5

    Angry Can I vent?

    My ds latched on the moment we met and things have been going smoothly since that moment. Well, we had some bumps here and there but for the most part, smooth. I returned to work when my lo was 5 weeks which was by force not choice. How sad we live in a society that holds jobs higher than family on the scale of importance but anyway that was off topic...

    To the point.

    My DH, mom, sil, or mil will keep my lo while I'm working. He is 3 months, 13.5lbs and poos all the time (: When my DH, SIL, and mom keep DS he averages 1.5 oz expressed bm every hour, but over time in four ounce bottles. However when my mil keeps him, she raids my frozen stash (we live next door) saying he is starving. Yesterday, she gave him four 4oz bottles and one 6 oz bottle in 9 hours!!! I don't know where he put it all? When I got him home he was extremely gassy, and spitting up(hrs after being fed). How do I convince her I'm not starving my DS? Every time I see her she mentions starting solids, or formula. It drives me crazy!! She also asks me all the time how long I plan on nursing. As long as I can!! But when she keeps him I'm so nervous she is going to blow through my stash JUST so she can give him formula and have control over what he eats.

    He is a healthy, happy, baby who has gained weight since day one
    How to I convince her he isn't being deprived?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Posts
    54

    Default Re: Can I vent?

    Hi mama,

    I dont have any advice on how to help but i just wanted to send you it must be so hard for you to be away from your little one and then on top of it to have your MIL keep asking you about solids and formula.

    It seems like she doesnt know when your little ones hungry cues are that is why she is feeding him so much?

    hope things work out. i wish some MIL's would just trust us mama's in that we know what our babies need.

    good luck.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Location
    Boring ole Michigan
    Posts
    205

    Default Re: Can I vent?

    I dont have much advice because that sounds like my story EXACTLY. She is constantly feeding him ALL.THE.TIME and I get mad at her. She knows I am mad. I'll say this to her everyday "He should only need what I left for him.. don't give him anymore. If he is absolutely starving then go ahead but he should not need that much."

    Well of course that never helps.. Now she is beginning to LIE TO ME about what she gives him. I'll ask if he ate any thing and she will say "Ohh just what was in the fridge!" and then later than night I'll see a dirty jar that I had my frozen milk stored in... I wish I didn't have to work either. I completely feel your pain. I wish I could be a SAHM more than anything in the world. It is so much more fulfilling then work, school.. anything.
    July 27 2011

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Posts
    4,007

    Default Re: Can I vent?

    I would send what you normally send, plus a 2 oz bottle extra... and tell her that he doesn't need more than that. Give her suggestions of others ways to sooth him - sometimes people just go to the bottle first when really the baby may want to lay down, be held, walk around looking at shinny things, to be bounced, swayed, etc. It's a hard situation but I would be firm in the fact that she is overfeeding him. Maybe print off some literature about breastfed babies (she may not know the difference if she has only been around formula fed babies) and how important it is to not overfeed.

    Does your baby take a pacifier? Sometimes this helps with babysitters because milk flows faster from a bottle than it does from the breast and your baby may still have a need to suck (which is why he drinks another bottle), know what I mean?

    Hope you figure things out mama
    ~Jenn~


    mother of 2 boys!
    08/14/98~~03/20/08

    Birth: 7lbs 12oz, 1 year: 22lbs 11oz
    until he self-weaned 4 days before his third birthday ... still on occasion ... and happily

    ************************************************** ************************************************** *****************
    People need to understand that when they're deciding between breastmilk and formula, they're not deciding between Coke and Pepsi.... They're choosing between a live, pure substance and a dead substance made with the cheapest oils available. ~Chele Marmet

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    In Peace
    Posts
    2,923

    Default Re: Can I vent?

    Don't let her watch the baby. Is that in any way possible? Always find someone else. Change your locks and don't let her have a key. Put a lock on your freezer. I would be pissed about someone coming in my house without my permission. And stealing my milk without my permission and then feeding it to my baby without my permission.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    Ontario, Canada
    Posts
    2,475

    Default Re: Can I vent?

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*juno View Post
    Don't let her watch the baby. Is that in any way possible? Always find someone else. Change your locks and don't let her have a key. Put a lock on your freezer. I would be pissed about someone coming in my house without my permission. And stealing my milk without my permission and then feeding it to my baby without my permission.
    This. It's very disrespectful that she's not following your instructions and doing what she wants regardless. This isn't her baby and she has NO RIGHT to change your approach. Either she starts to respect you or someone else needs to care for your babe.
    Mommy to our DD1 early bird (34 weeks, 2 days, 7lbs, 14oz)! Oct. 2nd, 2008 Emergency C-Section, Frank Breech, HEALTHY Girl!
    Weaned @ 17 months
    Our DD2 early bird (37 weeks, 3 days, 7lbs, 12oz) Aug. 10th, 2010 Our Successful VBAC, growing like a bad weed!
    Weaned @ 15 months
    Our DD3 early bird (37 weeks, 3 days, 7lbs, 6oz) Feb. 16th, 2012 Our 2nd VBAC and lightening speedy birth!

    Loving being a Mom of 3, 40 months apart!!
    and

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Location
    chesterfield, va
    Posts
    96

    Default Re: Can I vent?

    Congrats to you 1) 3 months of smooth sailing! & 2) you made it from 5 weeks to 3 months dealing with this! I didn't even make it to 3 before I lost it with my MIL over just about the same thing. I've printed all the info about breastfed babies vs formula babies, health benefits, how they need to learn to feed from a bottle differently, etc. I say to her everyday she watches him how he needs to eat, how much & so far not much has changed. I'm beginning to think it's just what they do? Although to be fair, my dad does the same thing. So sadly I, too, have no advice to give, just encouragement! Not sure what sort of relationship you have with her or your situation but try telling her if she doesn't stop doing what she's doing feeding privileges will be revoked until she can be trusted to follow your wishes, if they match hers or not. you are mamma, you know best for your son, just like she knew what was best for hers. Don't understand why some of the grandparents feel because they muddled through with one or two babies that managed to survive to adulthood makes them experts.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Posts
    15

    Default Re: Can I vent?

    *Hugs* Good luck working this out. Have you asked her why she thinks he is hungry all the time? Does she try to other ways to comfort him before giving him more milk? Have you given her any literature? Hopefully you can come up with a way to convince her that you would like your way to be respected. Otherwise, I agree with others, you may have to tell her you can't let her care for the baby if she doesn't respect your wishes.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    10,440

    Default Re: Can I vent?

    I had this happen with a sitter a few times. I had to work 4 hours. I left 12 oz, just in case I got caught at work for 6 hours. I told her she should have an average of 6 oz left. I came back to it ALL GONE. I let her watch the kids again, thinking it was a fluke, and it was not. That was the last time I used that sitter.

    Don't let her watch baby.
    Susan
    Mama to my all-natural boys: Ian, 9-4-04, 11.5 lbs; Colton, 11-7-06, 9 lbs, in the water; Logan, 12-8-08, 9 lbs; Gavin, 1-18-11, 9 lbs; and an angel 1-15-06
    18+ months and for Gavin, born with an incomplete cleft lip and incomplete posterior cleft palate
    Sealed for time and eternity, 7-7-93
    Always babywearing, cosleeping and cloth diapering. Living with oppositional defiant disorder and ADHD. Ask me about cloth diapering and sewing your own diapers!

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    Mississippi
    Posts
    5

    Default Re: Can I vent?

    I am having a talk with her Mon, literature in hand. Thanks for the much needed support!

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •