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Thread: How to cope with judgement?

  1. #11
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Location
    Missouri
    Posts
    112

    Default Re: How to cope with judgement?

    when my son turned one and I decided we weren't ready to wean I joined LLL. It was great to talk with other women who shared my view of the importance of breastfeeding. LO turned 3 the end of August. My mom will occasionally make comments and so will my sisters. I just ignore them it help that I am a IBCLC so I know science and research is on my side. My family is not interested in hearing the benefits or that the rest of the world breastfeeds for this long, they say oh well that's third world countries. Even my husband is a convert to the whole idea but luckily he has supported me. Although now he is more actively trying to help me wean. But I am, like JoMo said just taking it one day at a time. Some days he won't even ask for his morning nursing until he's been up over an hour and I hold my breath thinking maybe he'll skip it he hasn't let but he usually eat 2-4 times a day and there's been lots of days where he just nurses once. Once my mom told me nursing a three year old was unheard of and I just stated that I knew lots of women who did (thinking of my LLL) friends. That kind of shut her up she quietly said well I don't.
    Did this for 9months with Kailey and Hailey
    who are now 8.

    weaned Dane somewhere around 3.5 no longer he likes to sleep with his sisters He's now 5

    Now I am , , My baby Cruz who is almost 6 months and my last baby

  2. #12
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Posts
    1,949

    Default Re: How to cope with judgement?

    I still nurse my 2 1/2 yo DD, yet most people have no idea casue we do it moslty in the house. SOOOO there will come a point when your LO wil ask for it less and less or you can put them off or tell them later and they will be ok with it. Most people ASSUME we have weaned...and thats fine casue then they dont bring it up!
    Mommy of 4,
    3 who I watch over, 1 who watches over all of us

    J- 8/20/05 pumped breastmilk for 11 months due to his cleft lip and palate!

    M- 10/17/07 my precious baby lives forever in her mommys heart

    M- 3/31/09 my special gift, she helps heal her mommy and daddys heart. Nursed for 4 years and 10 days, self weaned the day her baby brother was born!

    E-, new little miracle born 4/11/13, my BIG baby! Born 8.6 at 38 weeks. At 9 weeks nearly 17lbs, at 12 weeks nearly 20lbs, at 6 months nearly 23lbs, at 8 months nearly 25lbs and all from BREASTMILK


  3. #13
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Posts
    43

    Default Re: How to cope with judgement?

    You could always say , " I don't like to do things at the minimum. I am an acheiver. Since bfing 1 year is minimum why the heck would I stop now?"
    Or if you are really mad and want to tick someone off and be pretty harsh you could say, "You must have been formula fed because you lack the higher IQ to understand the importance of bfing."

  4. #14
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Location
    Cleveland, OH
    Posts
    507

    Default Re: How to cope with judgement?

    My little man was born 12/17/2010.

    Baby girl was born 4/30/2014.

  5. #15
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Posts
    103

    Default Re: How to cope with judgement?

    my son is only 9 months so we are not there yet, but even now people ask me "when are you going to stop doing that", particularly about pumping. i tell them "when we are both ready". i sometimes say why would i want to give my child an inferior product that i have to pay for when he can get the best stuff money from me for free. i also sometimes say that i am not in a rush to give my child milk from a cow when he and i are perfectly happy nursing....

    as far as giving your older child milk. my son is almost 2 and he will drink my milk from a cup. i tell him it is mama's special baby milk. if i don't have enough for a full cup and will give him what i have mixed in with cow's milk. if your lo won't take it, you can try mixing it into oatmeal or mashed potatoes
    mom to ds daniel 12/16/09 and ben 2/27/11

  6. #16
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Posts
    5,408

    Default Re: How to cope with judgement?

    Oh LOL that babies blues cartoon. Ha ha ha.
    I have blanket permission to share this story from a mom I talked to about a year ago. She called me about 6 months after she had weaned her child at about 14 months. She had a specific question I don't need to get into, but she also told me her story & told me I could share it with anyone I thought it might help. She had not wanted to wean, and her child had not wanted to wean. But she had one very close friend who had a non breastfed child of a similar age who was very dissaproving, always making comments, and causing the mom to question herself. Basically, she caved from the pressure from this one friend (and of course she did not know anyone else who was nursing a child that age.) Later she realized the friend was incredibly insecure about her own mothering choices (and many other things) and that was likely where her dissaproval came from.

    This mom I talked to was very regretful. She told me she had come to realize she had sacrificed something that was very precious to both her and her child for the approval of what turned out to be a not very good friend. It was one of the saddest phone calls I ever took, because my LLL group holds a regular nursing toddler meeting and I felt that if this mom had come to even one meeting, things would have been so different for her and her child.

    I think the best way to deal with criticism is to find support to counterbalance it. Of course you have that here, also, attend LLL meetings if you can! Or try to find a local AP parenting group. Or, when the time comes, start your own group of moms nursing past one.

  7. #17
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Posts
    15

    Default Re: How to cope with judgement?

    Just don't even bring it up. It is really nobody's business but yours. You do what is best for your family just as they do what they feel is best for theirs. Every baby is different and every mom is different so you just do whatever you feel like and leave others to do the same. At the end of the day it is YOU who is home w/ the baby and nobody else is there to decide how to take care of the baby so don't let them dictate how you do so. THEY have absolutely nothing to do with any of the other parentting decisions you make during the day, so why this one? Just don't make a point to talk about it w/ ppl you know will disagree, and if they bring it up just say":every family is different, eh?!" or something along those lines. That's how I deal with it.
    Just remember that you are doing what is best for your baby.

  8. #18
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Posts
    2,627

    Default Re: How to cope with judgement?

    I'm nursing my almost 2.5 yr old and not too many people know, but if they do I am very positive about it (like if my daughter says something about her nums and a friend says "nums?" I say, oh we really like to nurse! or whatever. My dentist's partner (another dentist, not my own) said something when she was almost 12 mos, "you're almost done!" and I said well no, we had too many problems and went through too much work to quit just when it got easier, and the WHO recommends at least 2 yrs. Right now, too, it's cold and flu season and I want to get through that. I sometimes mention how she's been to the doctor for one un-well visit (the rest just well child check ups).

    But the bottom line is, it's between you and your child, my little girl is nursing as I type and no way is she weaning on her own right now. She loves her nummies, she says they are perfect, they taste like ice cream, I make them just for her, and all of that. How can you resist a cute little toddler who says such nice things?
    Nursed my sweet daughter 3 years, 3 mos.

  9. #19
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Posts
    6,564

    Default Re: How to cope with judgement?

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*lovemygirlso1 View Post
    DD1 will be 3 in January. I have actually tried giving it to her in a cup but she won't drink it. Shw won't drink regular milk either. Any suggestions? I'd love her to drink it. Soooo many benefits!
    I've put chocolate syrup in mine.

  10. #20
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    1,096

    Default Re: How to cope with judgement?

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*mommy2lilah View Post
    I've put chocolate syrup in mine.
    I have too!
    Mommy to L - May 7, 07' , B - February 7, 09' , and R - August 18, 12'

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