I feel guilty and happy at the same time.
There are so many mixed emotions I have from tandem nursing.
I work 40 hours/wk (not counting the long drive to and from work everyday). As soon as I walk in the door I have to use the bathroom. My toddler follows me with her arms out and stands next to me while I'm on the toilet and helps herself to "ninny". I tell her "Not now" and she has a tantrum. If I shut and lock the door, she sceams and has a worse tantrum beating on the door the entire time "Mommy NInny!"
I hate coming in and feeling like I have to hurry up and go to the bathroom and get a drink because the rest of the day I'm going to be PINNED DOWN by both of the kids...
Welcome Home MOMMY!
I feel guilty if I don't let her nurse. She misses me so much while I'm gone. I love that I can offer that to her, and since I HAVE to feed my son whose life depends on it (6 month old), I might as well feed my 2.5 yr old too so that I don't feel more guilty by leaving her out.
I have tried to shake things up and "play potty" (since she is out of diapers) with her, put games in front of the toilet so she will be distracted... But her mind is made up. Her and my son scream as soon as I walk in the door. My husband even waits outside the bathroom door waiting to hand over my son while my daughter sceams or nurses while I am getting business done on the toilet.
As soon as I get done going to the bathroom, I take off my shirt, lay down on the bed and wait for my husband to hand me my son and my toddler climbs up the bed and he brings me a glass of water. This is my day. My toddler nurses more than a newborn and my son is only an infant... I love that I can give them this. It makes me feel less guilty about having to be away from them for work.... but I am so tired. I miss my hobbies, and my poor husband misses me. If he even touches me, I push him away and tell him I need space. I feel used.
Clarify my feelings... Are they normal?
Anyone else having mixed emotions about work, nursing, or their relationship w/ DH?