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Thread: Need info/studies or overreacting?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
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    chesterfield, va
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    96

    Default Need info/studies or overreacting?

    Breastfeeding part is still going swimmingly, it's the pumping/grandparents feeding that is not! Having issues with grandparents overfeeding during the day. Have caught nanna pouring 3 oz instead of the 2 oz he should have. Came home from work early & all the bottles that had 2 oz had 3 oz. Grandpa told me today he sucked down 2 - 2 oz bottles in a row. I have tried explaining bf babies don't need the same level of 'upping' that ff babies do. (we were all ff.) I have printed out the bottle feeding a breastfed baby sheets from LLL & kellymom. I have shown them how to pace feed him. I have explained the easier they make it for him to feed from a bottle the more difficult bf is when I get home. Dad does what mom asks, thankfully. I have told them he'll get stomach aches, cramps, gas, be fussy for dad until I get home. All to no avail. They think his sucking down is cute & means he's starving. I've likened it to someone funneling their favorite foods down their throats & how they wouldn't mind, at first, until they need the pepto! He's 9 weeks wednesday, is somewhere between 12-14 lbs. 2 month appt tomorrow will tell us exactly. We do the unofficial weighing of baby+dad - dad = baby. He eats 12-14x/day, always satisfied & happy when off the breast. I'd get the just amount of bottles he needed while they are sitting but then dad watches him for another 7 hours until I get home! & dad does it right. & I don't want to not leave enough in case he really is hungry. Or am I just overreacting because they're not respecting my choices on feeding?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
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    2,538

    Default Re: Need info/studies or overreacting?

    so how long are you away from baby and during that time how many ounces are consumed by baby?
    Autumn
    Moma to *Silas* 10-30-07

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Location
    chesterfield, va
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    96

    Default Re: Need info/studies or overreacting?

    i'm away from him 11 - 13 hrs. i don't know exactly how much he gets. i make 4 bottles up with 2 oz each for the grandparents ease for feeding & then dad has the expressed milk from the previous day to use as needed at night. on average he eats like clockwork every 2 hours. i don't ask them to write down exactly when he ate, just make sure he eats. so given that he like clockwork eats every 2 hours in 13 hours that's about 7 times. x2 oz = ~14 oz. throw in his exactly @ 9:30 pm eating (even with the time change it was 9:30 pm) even if he ate at 8:30 or 9:00, & another just for comforts sake, i'd say ~16-18 oz while I'm gone. should i be keeping better track of this? this is enough, too much, too little?

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
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    100

    Default Re: Need info/studies or overreacting?

    I have always had similar issues with caregivers and over feeding. I think it's hard for people to understand why a baby would take a bottle like there's no tomorrow if they weren't starving. If I didn't know my DS well enough, I might mistake it for hunger too and over feed. Thankfully I only leave him occasionally, so I don't have to worry so much, but my MIL and I have had many a disagreement over her over feeding him. I would say that what you described sounds about right for food amount. I would give specific instructions for how much caregivers are to feed- like you said you make up the bottles- and don't allow them to feed more. If you feel you need to leave extra, make it harder for them by keeping it frozen. Someone gave me that advice and I haven't tried it, but it seems good! I hear you though, there is nothing more frustrating than someone making it sound like you aren't leaving what you should and that you don't know what's best for your LO.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
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    381

    Default Re: Need info/studies or overreacting?

    It may help you to keep track of his meals, and also help to prove the point to your family. For my children, we made an excel table where we listed what time they ate, which breast (I have always fed on single side and it helped me remember which side to use next time), how many ounces in a bottle. we also kept track of wets & BMs (good in case you are worried about your supply, constipation, trends, etc). We used this table until my girls were 6 months, probably only 4-6 months for my son. Then you will get an accurate read on how much he is eating and when.
    Full time working Mom to 3, DH is my hero as a SAHD:
    DS July'09, nursed for 12 weeks
    DD1 & DD2 April'11, tandem nursed for 16 months

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Posts
    6,562

    Default Re: Need info/studies or overreacting?

    The rule of thumb is 1 to 1.5 ounces per hour while you are away. So your baby needs at least 11 ounces (or 13 on the days you are gone longer), and maybe up to 16.5 ounces on your 11 hour days and 19ish ounces on your 13 hour days. So the amount sounds on the high end, but still in the normal range.

    How much are you pumping during the day when you are gone?

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Location
    chesterfield, va
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    Default Re: Need info/studies or overreacting?

    So we went to the doc today, it was the 2 month checkup. She gave me a list showing that bf & ff babies eat the same amount with increases at the same time? This info is not what I've been seeing everywhere else in my bf reading. She said him eating every 2 hours is a sign he's not getting enough & by this point he should be stretching the feedings to every 3 hours. He weighed in at 12lbs 3oz, which seemed a little light to me given he was 9lbs, 13 oz at birth. Maybe this being my first I really don't know. Said he's in the 60th percentile for weight but is in 90th for height (24.25"). All males on both sides of our families are long & lean. Woman all got the short & stout genes - probably to incubate the citation babies! The average I pump at work is 20 oz. Sometimes up to 25 oz if I squeeze an extra in there. I really have no problem giving him more if he needs it, just seems what I've been seeing shows he's fine with 2 oz. Plenty of wet & poo diapers, happy, smiling, cooing, not crying with sagging skin. A friend of mine also made the suggestion if we give him more in each bottle with fewer bottles there might be less bottle preference frustration when I get home at night. She is a bf mamma to 2 boys. She is also going to be the DC provider when he's 3 months, we just wanted a little time for him to get to know his grandparents & she just had her 2nd 3 weeks after mine. I did tell DH last night if the grandparents don't get their poop in a group (nice way) they're grounded from feeding & he'll be going to her sooner than expected. At least I know she'll get it right & if she sees a need for a change she'll talk to me about it instead of making the decisions for me. If I could at least get them to understand & do paced feeding I would feel better. If they're not paying attention to the feeding instructions, what else aren't they paying attention to?
    Last edited by @llli*adriankelly; November 30th, 2011 at 03:18 PM.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Location
    Cleveland, OH
    Posts
    533

    Default Re: Need info/studies or overreacting?

    16-18 oz over 11-13 hours sounds reasonable, and that amount does not need to increase like formula fed babies. I am wondering what time frame your pediatrician was looking at? In the beginning few weeks both FF and BF babies will increase volume, but in the big picture they do not follow the same pattern. My son drank 14-15 oz over 11ish hours everyday starting at 3 months old and is healthy and average size in every way. (We are down to 12 oz now due to eating more solids but never went over 15 oz).

    As for how often he has a bottle, that depends on how your baby likes to eat. When you are nursing him is he a snacker, as in short and frequent nursing session? My son was NOT a snacker and liked to nurse a bunch at once then wait 3-4 hours, so he had 3 larger bottles, rather than 4 smaller bottles at daycare.
    My little man was born 12/17/2010.

    Baby girl was born 4/30/2014.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Location
    chesterfield, va
    Posts
    96

    Default Re: Need info/studies or overreacting?

    The only difference on the table was that ff babies fed every 3-4 hrs vs bf babies every 2-3. i left the sheet at home, i'll type out what it suggested tomorrow. i do remember the low end for 2-3 months was 25 oz in 24 hrs. he hasn't really been a snacker. Every 2 hours stays on one side for 10-15 min. I have noticed since I was back to work when I get home he feeds on both sides for a total of about 30 min. the right side has always produced significantly less than the left (right tops out @ 2.5 oz, left has been known to pull 8 oz but averages 6). This is what I based my feedings on. Everyone seems to be concerned with his sleeping. That he'll sleep longer if I feed him more. I've been an insomniac my entire life & his waking up for feedings is nothing to me. Monday night he actually did sleep from 9 pm - 4 am & I still got up every 2 hours! He'll let me know when he wants more.

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