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Thread: always breastfeeding

  1. #1

    Default always breastfeeding

    So I am a first-time mother. I feel like I am always breastfeeding and don't have any time for myself, or anything else really. It is making me very frustrated and I feel like I'm on the brink of giving up: I guess what I'm asking for is some advice and support to help me through this.

    My daughter was born on November 11th and is now 17 days old. We definitely had some issues getting started with this whole breastfeeding thing, and I had some doubts about my milk coming in, but now it's in and in full force! I was experiencing some engorgement two days ago, so I started pumping but I feel I may have overdone it: I ended up producung so much milk that I was never able to get her to latch on properly and when she did she seemed to be frustrated at the amount of milk she was getting. I have since stopped pumping.

    Since yesterday, she's been feeding very often, once an hour for a stretch there. Last night she did pretty good with two feedings three hours apart, but still I can't shake the feeling that I'm nothing but a milk factory. Any help and support you all can give would be greatly appreciated.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    May 2006
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    21,267

    Default Re: always breastfeeding

    Welcome and congratulations on the new baby! I can totally relate to what you're going through, because I felt the exact same way with my first baby. It was like everything that I enjoyed about being me disappeared once my daughter was born, and I turned into nothing more than a nursing, baby-holding, diaper-changing machine. I felt like I could have been lobotomized and still done about the same job!

    I think the 2-3 week time frame marks the some of the hardest challenges for a breastfeeding mom. The excitement of the birth and bringing the baby home have worn off. You're still probably experiencing a lot of not-so-fun aspects of being a postpartum mom- lochia (postpartum bleeding), jelly belly flopping over the top of your jeans, huge hormonal fluctuations as your body adjusts to a non-pregnant, breastfeeding state. If your house was in good shape before your baby was born, it probably isn't now. And the really () fun thing right now is that your baby is waking up more and more and therefore needs you more and more!

    I could go on with the negatives, but I won't! Look, we have all been where you are and it does stink- but it's temporary. It is all going to get so much better ad time goes on! Your hormones will calm down. Your baby will eventually space out her feedings a bit more (though there will certainly be plenty of growth spurts during which you will feel like you do nothing but nurse). And most importantly, your baby will start to give back. At 17 days old, I doubt she does much more than nurse, cry, and produce laundry and dirty diapers. But by about 3 months she's going to start doing fun things like smiling at you, reaching out to touch you, discover her own fingers and toes. And as time goes on, she's going to become a faster feeder. Newborns take forever to nurse. But by the time they are a few months old, most babies can get a full feeding in just 5-10 minutes at the breast.

    There's a reason that old-fashioned books refer to the period around birth as the "lying-in" period. In ye olden days, women spent up to a month just lying around, taking care of their babies and recuperating from birth. There was no expectation that a woman would get up and resume her normal life soon after the birth of a baby. With my first baby, I utterly rejected the idea of not being back on my feet and back to normal life very soon after my daughter was born. With my second, I basically told my husband and family "I'm checking out and going to bed. I'll take care of the newborn and you are going to take of everything else".
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
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    Oh FFS!
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    Default Re: always breastfeeding

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*mommal View Post
    we have all been where you are and it does stink- but it's temporary. It is all going to get so much better ad time goes on! Your hormones will calm down. Your baby will eventually space out her feedings a bit more (though there will certainly be plenty of growth spurts during which you will feel like you do nothing but nurse). And most importantly, your baby will start to give back. At 17 days old, I doubt she does much more than nurse, cry, and produce laundry and dirty diapers. But by about 3 months she's going to start doing fun things like smiling at you, reaching out to touch you, discover her own fingers and toes. And as time goes on, she's going to become a faster feeder. Newborns take forever to nurse. But by the time they are a few months old, most babies can get a full feeding in just 5-10 minutes at the breast.
    with pp. Everything she said is true. I would even venture to say that at some point I missed just being able to sit and nurse a baby, as opposed to running after a mobile one and intercepting inquisitive little fingers.

    Have you tried nursing in a sling or carrier? With my LOs it helped to alleviate the feeling of being confined to the couch. It will get better.

    Mama to my little Diva: Miss K (7/15/06)
    And her little sister: Lulu Pie (3/21/09)

    "Don't toush da mango"
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    My body creates, houses, nurtures and nourishes life. That is awesome.
    Kegel Kop says: TIGHTEN UP!

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
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    Southern NM
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    712

    Default Re: always breastfeeding

    Yes this is normal but more importantly for you to know right now, this will not last. Partly they become more efficient in feeding and partly they get more interested in what is going on around them and have other things to do besides feeding. It does seem like it is lasting forever when you are in the midst of it, however.
    I am Erin--happily married to the nerd of my dreams for 15 years
    High School Science Teacher
    Mother to: Thing 1 9/23/01, bf 15 mo, diagnosed with stage 4 neuroblastoma 1/29/02, officially cancer free for ten years in August 2012
    Thing 2 6/6/05, bf 12 mo, obsessed with dynamite
    Glowworm 2/18/11, bf 15 months and counting

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
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    10,440

    Default Re: always breastfeeding

    Those first 6-8 weeks are the toughest. Yes, there will be difficult times after that, but those first weeks...yep, all you feel like is that you are feeding the baby.

    But that is what you are supposed to be doing! You aren't supposed to be up cleaning the house

    Nurse, try tucking baby into a sling and going for a walk. Make sure Daddy is taking care of the baby in the evening; you feed and hand off for diaper changes and rocking, while you go grab a shower and paint your toenails or something. I used to hand off baby after nursing at like 9-10PM and go to bed by myself for a couple hours until baby needed to eat again.

    Breastfeeding does get easier than pumping and bottle feeding EVER will. And it's also easier than formula feeding. With formula, you would have to remember to buy formula, which also costs a lot of money. Eventually, you'll be able to nurse laying down, hands free, in a sling, anywhere, any time, and in about 10 minutes. So don't lose sight of the forest for the trees
    Susan
    Mama to my all-natural boys: Ian, 9-4-04, 11.5 lbs; Colton, 11-7-06, 9 lbs, in the water; Logan, 12-8-08, 9 lbs; Gavin, 1-18-11, 9 lbs; and an angel 1-15-06
    18+ months and for Gavin, born with an incomplete cleft lip and incomplete posterior cleft palate
    Sealed for time and eternity, 7-7-93
    Always babywearing, cosleeping and cloth diapering. Living with oppositional defiant disorder and ADHD. Ask me about cloth diapering and sewing your own diapers!

  6. #6

    Default Re: always breastfeeding

    Hi again! (I'm the OP just changed my "alias" thing). Thank you all so much for your words of encouragement. They really do help put things into perspective. My husband and I have moved away from all our family for his work, so it is nice to be able to come on here and have you folks to talk to. Thanks!

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