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Thread: Need support and advice please!!!

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
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    73

    Unhappy Need support and advice please!!!

    Hi I am a FTM and SAHM of a 4.5 month old baby boy who has lots of issues with feedings (EBF) and sleeping. He used to sleep long 1.5-2 hour long naps but as he grew older became increasingly irritable and unable to stay asleep both during the day and at night, His Pediatrician diagnosed him with silent reflux but he hasnt responded well to medications which leads me to believe there must be a different underlying cause. We finally visted a pediatric GI who suggested I stop eating all forms (including hidden) of milk and soy but I believe the problem might be deeper than that so I have taken it upon myself to do a total elimination diet. This however is SO restrictive that I fear my milk supply will drastically drop. I will only eat turkey/lamb, gluten free oats, white and brown rice, yellow zucchini, winter squashes, sweet potato, potato, and pears for 2 weeks before adding in the least allergenic foods (one every 4 days). I discussed this with my lactation consultant who tried hard to convince me that its very unlikely that my baby is allergic to many foods but my motherly instinct is telling me this is necessary. I need to know if any mamas out there have tried this and if they can just lend me support....my baby cries most of the day and sleeps terribly at night, sometimes waking up as often as 45 minutes and its NOT an issue of sleep associations...he wakes up in discomfort and some nights are better than others which leads me to believe its directly related to what i ate that day. Has anyone had success with a TED? Has anyone seen a change in fussiness/crying/feeding/sleeping by changing their diets? I need to know there is hope out there because this constant crying and lack of sleep (for both of us) has got me at my wits end. I just want me little guy to feel good and be happy...he always looks so frsutrated and unhappy...I'd appreciate any advice from any mamas who have tried special diets to make BF work...I REALLY don't want to give him formula!!!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
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    Default Re: Need support and advice please!!!

    I am currently dairy free and have definitely seen an improvement in DD's fussiness & gas since I went fully dairy free (she is also 4.5 months old. I was initially just told to cut the "obvious" dairy but that didn't seem to work). I never did a TED b/c the dairy elimination seemed to work, but I know there are moms that have. One in particular I remember responded to my post about cutting dairy. She had done the TED and said she saw a major improvement in her baby's fussing/gas/colic. Maybe she'll respond here & encourage you too I would say it is definitely worth a try to do a total elimination, especially if your motherly instinct is telling you it would help. Even if it doesn't, then at least you'll know that you tried! But my guess is that you will figure out what's bothering his tummy and you'll both feel much better Good luck!
    DD, 7-2-2011, "Little Owl" nursed for 21 months

    DS, 10-10-2013, "Mr. Man" EBF and going strong

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Location
    New York
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    Default Re: Need support and advice please!!!

    dear emommy706,
    I wish I could reach out and hug you and then assure you that it is not the foods you are eating that is responsible for your LO's sleeplessness and irritability. Except for the dairy, which studies have proven to be irritating to infants and adults alike.
    My DS#3 wailed and kvetched from dawn til dusk. at about 8 months he outgrew it. the only thing I did was wear him in a cloth sling, sleep with him and nurse him practicaly around the clock.
    i now realise that what made mothering him manageable and enjoyable for me was my daytime naps and playing the radio all day long to keep my spirits up.
    The issues your LO is presenting will not be cured by feeding him formula. breastmilk is not the culprit. Your diet is not making your baby unhappy/unhealthy.
    Quite the opposite.
    DD#1 July 1986 VB
    DD#2 April 1988 c/sec
    DS#3 April 1990 VBAC
    DS#4 June 1993 VB
    and suprise!
    DD#5 April 2001 c/sec
    BTDT scars and stretchmarks,: wrinkles and grey hair

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    10,440

    Default Re: Need support and advice please!!!

    A restricted diet isn't going to make your milk decrease. As long as you get enou calories, you will be fine. There are many moms who had to restrict their diets and continued to nurse successfully for quite a long time.
    Susan
    Mama to my all-natural boys: Ian, 9-4-04, 11.5 lbs; Colton, 11-7-06, 9 lbs, in the water; Logan, 12-8-08, 9 lbs; Gavin, 1-18-11, 9 lbs; and an angel 1-15-06
    18+ months and for Gavin, born with an incomplete cleft lip and incomplete posterior cleft palate
    Sealed for time and eternity, 7-7-93
    Always babywearing, cosleeping and cloth diapering. Living with oppositional defiant disorder and ADHD. Ask me about cloth diapering and sewing your own diapers!

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
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    Default Re: Need support and advice please!!!

    A few thoughts...

    First, every baby is different and there are different causes for fussiness... I think it's often a matter of trial and error (and medical advice, of course). In our case, I went on an elimination diet because of my baby's green, mucousy, watery, explosive poops. I cut all dairy (including hidden), soy, nuts/tree nuts, gluten/wheat, and eggs. Dairy takes a couple of weeks to clear off your system. I noticed the following improvements:

    - After about a month after being off dairy, my baby's colic episodes stopped completely. She used to be colicky every day in the end of the day and early evening, sometimes all night long, sometimes earlier in the day. She would cry and fuss and only quiet down if we held her in the "colic hold." Our arms got very strong! This went on from when she was about 1 week old until ca. 2 months. And then it stopped! Her gas also improved a lot and so did her spit. She is spitty and also has silent reflux (not medicated b/c it doesn't bother her). The reflux improved a little but she still has it.
    - Her poops improved too, less watery and less explosive, less mucousy too.

    I tried to reintroduce foods to see if she reacted. Eggs made no difference so I now can eat them freely. But when I ate gluten/wheat and nuts/tree nuts, she had an immense amount of mucus in her stools. As for soy, she had not only mucus but also blood flecks. I didn't even try to reintroduce dairy. I think a couple of times when I ate out there might have been hidden dairy and she had a bit of blood again.

    She's 8 months today () and I've been on this diet for 7 months (well, off dairy for 7 months, off the rest for 6 months). I know that research has only found out dairy proteins in breastmilk, but in my experience it made a difference to cut the foods. I was skeptical at first but was convinced by what I observed in practice.

    As for my milk supply, the diet hasn't hurt it. I have to say that it is more challenging sometimes. Breastfeeding makes me very hungry, and with this diet it's tough to find quick-to-eat things (most ready-made foods, even healthier ones, have dairy or soy; and a lot of healthy snacks such as nuts or low-fat cheese are off-limits). But I am still able to eat a variety of things and to produce more than enough milk for her.

    I hope this helps! It doesn't hurt to try, just make sure you stick with it because of the time it takes for milk protein to clear off of your system. The worst that can happen is... it won't make a difference, you go back to eating everything and keep investigating.

    Also make sure to look for other (or simultaneous) causes of fussing such as teething, growth spurt, ear infection etc.

    Good luck, mama! Keep us posted!
    march 2011... the light of my life

    i love my little one

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
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    73

    Default Re: Need support and advice please!!!

    @kmanih-
    Thanks for the support! I know he is definitely teething as well but his cries happen mostly around the time he is trying to poop or if not I just hear gurgles in his little tummy...His poops are green and mucousy and occasionally had specs of blood. He has moments when he is so happy and playful but then he starts to get gassy and uncomfortable and the crying begins. I really dont think its a temperament issue because his crying is usually related to the gurgly sounds in his belly and gassiness...I truly hope this TED works because I just want to see my little boy smile more than he cries!!! IT seems like the past couple weeks he has been especially irritable and wakes up crying often from naps and at night time...now that i think about it i have been eating more gluten than usual...Do you have any suggestions for snacks? i have been feeling so hungry and drinking water doesnt help...i try to have filling meals but after 2 or so hours im starving again!!!
    I do have another question though...Is it normal that I no longer feel that my breasts get very full? There are days where i feel more full or leak but it has become less and less. He is gaining weight really well (75%) and has plenty of wet/dirty diapers but I'm wondering if maybe my milk supply could have gone down at all? My breasts feel so soft...truthfully he nurses so often due to his desire for comfort to ease his gas and reflux that he never gives me a chance to fill up but even at night when he goes a few hours without nursing I don't feel full either...has anyone experienced this too?

    Thanks everyone for the support!

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    10,440

    Default Re: Need support and advice please!!!

    That feeling of being empty is normal. Just means your supply has evened out.
    Susan
    Mama to my all-natural boys: Ian, 9-4-04, 11.5 lbs; Colton, 11-7-06, 9 lbs, in the water; Logan, 12-8-08, 9 lbs; Gavin, 1-18-11, 9 lbs; and an angel 1-15-06
    18+ months and for Gavin, born with an incomplete cleft lip and incomplete posterior cleft palate
    Sealed for time and eternity, 7-7-93
    Always babywearing, cosleeping and cloth diapering. Living with oppositional defiant disorder and ADHD. Ask me about cloth diapering and sewing your own diapers!

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Posts
    466

    Default Re: Need support and advice please!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*emommy706 View Post
    Do you have any suggestions for snacks? i have been feeling so hungry and drinking water doesnt help...i try to have filling meals but after 2 or so hours im starving again!!!
    I know, it's tough! Especially when we don't have a lot of time to prepare things from scratch. I snack during the day on the following:
    - Sandwiches made with gluten-free bread and cold cuts. Just make sure to check the cold cuts because many contain gluten and/or hidden dairy (casein, whey, sodium lactate etc)
    - Also, gluten-free bread often has eggs. If you're cutting eggs there are fewer options (tapioca and rice loaves, which are pretty weird)
    - Rice cakes with cold cuts or jam (a good jam is a nice source of calories and taste)
    - Fruit (apples, pears, bananas). But fruit only takes me so far in sating my hunger
    - Cereal that is gluten-free, soy-free, nut-free and dairy-free. There are several: Erewohn rice cereals; Certified gluten-free oatmeal by Glutenfreeda (regular oatmeal is not gluten-free); and Enjoy Life (they have a super-yummy double-chocolate "granola")
    - Nu-Go Free cereal bars. Not the best taste, but they are certainly filling and full of energy. You kind of get used to the taste. I eat the dark chocolate ones.
    - Popcorn (homemade, not microwaveable)
    - Homemade rice pudding made with equal parts coconut milk and rice milk
    - Fruit juices and chocolate-flavored rice milk
    - If you can eat eggs, hard-boiled eggs or omelets made with Egg Beaters
    - Dried fruit (prunes, raisins, apricots)

    Earth Balance has a buttery spread that is soy-free, dairy-free, and it's good for toast and sandwiches. Avocado is also good as a spread.

    This is what I can remember now. I also try to make enough food to have leftovers and I eat them during the day too.

    Also, a true TED only allows you very few things (I think turkey, rice, pears, sweet potatoes, maybe a few other things). It's so restrictive that you are not supposed to stay on it for too long or you'll start to lack essential nutrients. However, a limited diet such as my own still leaves plenty of room for enough sources of protein, vitamins, fiber, energy (carbs and sugar) and healthy fats (olive oil, avocado).

    As for the breasts, as Susan said, yes, it's normal that you don't feel full anymore. It's a good thing, as your body is making milk more well matched to your baby's needs. Less risk of plugged ducts!
    march 2011... the light of my life

    i love my little one

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Posts
    466

    Default Re: Need support and advice please!!!

    Oh yes, just remembered a few more things. Enjoy Life has a whole series of cookies and bars that is free from the most common allergens. Pamela's Product's makes these little cookies called Pamela's Bites that are free from soy, dairy, gluten, and nuts (gingerbread and double chocolate). Another brand is Orgran for everything from crackers and cookies to pasta. There is a website called Gluten Free Mall with lots of options for snacks and foods. And So Delicious makes dairy-free, soy-free coconut milk drinks in lots of flavors, including a cultured coconut milk that is supposed to be like yogurt (I never tried), a non-dairy creamer (yummy), and ice cream (very good).
    march 2011... the light of my life

    i love my little one

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Posts
    73

    Default Re: Need support and advice please!!!

    @ kmanih

    Thanks for all the wonderful suggestions! I'm going nearly out of my mind...If it weren't for the help of my amazing family members I'd be crying all day. This diet is soooo much harder than i thought it would be. I feel starving all the time...I will definately order these snacks so i can continue. Someone posted earlier that my baby's behavior had nothing to do with my diet and its so disheartening to hear because he is simply so unhappy unless he is being distracted and help constantly and even then sometimes he still cries and kvetches... The main issue is really that he is SOOO gassy and his diapers are so mucousy...so I am right to believe it is most likely a dietary issue, correct? I hope to continue this TED but in the past 4 days there has been ZERO change in his diapers and behavior/sleep...how long does it usually take?

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