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Thread: Is it too late for us?

  1. #1

    Unhappy Is it too late for us?

    Hi Ladies. I am new here and looking for support, because I don't have much of it elsewhere. You all seem like an amazing group!

    My baby boy will be 4 months old in a few days. I have spent the last 4 weeks pumping and bottle feeding him due to his laziness and not willing to work for a let down. He would just scream and get so frustrated at my breast that we would both end up in tears. The guilt and extreme disappointment I am feeling over this situation is really getting to me. That combined with the fact that I am tired already of pumping is making me consider switching to formula completely. However, guilt has stopped that from happening so far.

    Anyway, my question is can I teach my son to breastfeed again? Is it too late for us? If I can teach him, how? What do I do? I am at a loss and heartbroken over how our nursing relationship is just not what I envisioned or wanted, especially that this is quite possibly my last baby. Double sob...

    Just a note, my first son is adopted and I was able to induce lactation and pump so he got breast milk for the first 6 weeks of his life. I got pregnant (IVF) and had my 2nd son at home in the water and he was a fantastic nurser for 6 months but then became a super biter and we had to stop. My 3rd baby due to circumstances beyond my control was born in the hospital (including an epidural..ugh ) and we have had a rocky nursing relationship.

    Any help from you all would be much appreciated! Sorry this is so long!!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Middle of nowhere in Ohio

    Default Re: Is it too late for us?

    No! It's never too late! By the way.. that is awesome what you have accomplished so far! You are amazing!
    To your problems at hand... What does he do when you try to latch him? Maybe he is used to the instant satisfaction from bottle.. less work... nursing is work for a baby. Breast compression while nursing can help him get the instant relief for food while keeping him interested. Also, skin to skin is amazing at helping baby try to breastfeed again. As much skin to skin as you can do will help. Maybe after offering the bottle.. try offering the breast. At least then he will not be so hungry and may be content on comfort sucking. Worth trying anyway... Hang in there..
    Passed my CLC exam!

    Mother of 3: 12-25-04 12-3-07 1-13-2011

  3. #3

    Default Re: Is it too late for us?

    Thank you LittleTurtleLove!! You suggestions and words of encouragement mean so much! I will for sure give the skin to skin a try. To answer your question, when I do try to nurse he just stiffens, screams and won't even latch. If he does it's for like 2 seconds and then the screaming starts. I will try the breast compressions too..all worth a try! Congrats to you for your nursing accomplishments!

  4. #4
    Join Date
    May 2006

    Default Re: Is it too late for us?

    When a baby is resistant to nursing, you can't force him to go back to it. You can only try to lure him back. This link covers helpful techniques: http://www.kellymom.com/bf/concerns/...to-breast.html. Definitely try the skin-to-skin and instant reward techniques, and if you're not co-sleeping with baby you may want to start. Sometimes when a baby is half-asleep and relaxed, he will latch on even though he'd resist when awake.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Brussels, Belgium

    Default Re: Is it too late for us?

    Mommal said what I was going to say
    BTW if this one bites later on, check the Kellymom advice on biting too. I used it. Now when my DD's toddler teeth scrape I just tell her or if I make a pained expression she politely unlatches then tries again. So sweet. It works.
    Katharine in Belgium
    Be the change you want to see in the world--Mahatma Gandhi
    DD2 Feb 2015 - natural birth VBAC with DD (2010) & DS (2011 VBAC)
    Ouch! Is it thrush or Raynaud's phenomenon?

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Mar 2006

    Default Re: Is it too late for us?

    Well, I'm making headway, as my fourth baby was born physically unable to nurse and I have had to pump for him all this time, we just had surgery, and my baby is TEN months old. So I think you have a chance at this.

    I have some links elsewhere I'll have to come post.

    Look into getting or making a finger feeder and an SNS.

    ETA: http://thebreastfeedingmother.blogsp...reastfeed.html has some really good ideas at the bottom.
    Kellymom has a section
    I also read a lot about adoptive mothers getting older babies to nurse.

    I am working on it by gradually moving from a Haberman (special needs feeder he had to use to eat for 9 months) then TenderCare feeders, then cross cut nipples, to Medela nipples, now Breastflow nipples. Next step will be using a Hazelbaker finger feeder with a nipple on the end to reteach my guy how to actually suckle.
    Last edited by @llli*aprilsmagic; November 28th, 2011 at 10:43 PM.
    Mama to my all-natural boys: Ian, 9-4-04, 11.5 lbs; Colton, 11-7-06, 9 lbs, in the water; Logan, 12-8-08, 9 lbs; Gavin, 1-18-11, 9 lbs; and an angel 1-15-06
    18+ months and for Gavin, born with an incomplete cleft lip and incomplete posterior cleft palate
    Sealed for time and eternity, 7-7-93
    Always babywearing, cosleeping and cloth diapering. Living with oppositional defiant disorder and ADHD. Ask me about cloth diapering and sewing your own diapers!

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