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Thread: Letting a 2 week old CIO

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Posts
    43

    Default Letting a 2 week old CIO

    Ok So I am so angry and need to vent. My husbands best friend and his wife just had a baby 2 weeks ago. She wanted to try and breastfeed but when I talked to her before baby she was leaning towards only pumping because she didn't want baby to be "dependent" on her. I tried to push it aside thinking she would change when baby came. She tried to latch him at birth but since neither knew what they were doing she quickly gave up. She didn't even have a motivation to attempt to nurse her baby that first 24 hours. She actually seemed happy because now she could go with her original plan and make sure DH would get lack of sleep to feed baby. I felt so sad for the baby and offered my help. I breastfed my daughter for well over a year and my son is 14 months and we are still breastfeeding and bed sharing. Heck I even baby wear him still!

    Ok, anyway....so baby ofcourse dropped weight, turned jaundice and spiked a fever before 48 hours old! Oh did I mention they also cicumcised him before 24 hours old! I won't even get into that because I don't believe it should be done anyway. So at home she pumps every 3 hours and after he was 6 days old asked me if she could stretch that. I said..."What he's on a schedule! Feed him on demand." I also suggested that she could still get him reassociated with the breast. She wasn't interested. He gets formula and breastmilk bottles (so sad). Now he's 2 weeks old and since he started cluster feeds they have now moved to having him CIO! Stating that he can't possibly be hungry cause he was just fed and hour or 2 ago and we just held him for a little bit.

    I fear for this poor baby. So sorry he was delt such selfish parents to think he is manipulating them at 2 weeks old! What is wrong with people. I tried to be her friend for the last few years but now I am definately not trying. Her and her husband have parenting styles that anger me. I don't even want to know what is happening because I'll just be angry all the time.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Location
    Boring ole Michigan
    Posts
    205

    Default Re: Letting a 2 week old CIO

    CIO at 2 weeks is awful and sad Is there any proven research you can show her to make her change her mind? Or is she the type who refuses to listen to reason and do everything her way..

    Also it is weird that she would WANT to pump. I pumped at first because I could not latch and it was MISERABLE. What are her reasons for not wanting to go to breast? It is so much easier!
    July 27 2011

  3. #3
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    20,831

    Default Re: Letting a 2 week old CIO

    Mama, sometimes you just have to say "not my baby, not my baby" if you want to maintain the friendship. Which in this case... You may not. What your friends are doing is pretty loathsome. I personally wouldn't want to be friends with people who patented this way.
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Posts
    43

    Default Re: Letting a 2 week old CIO

    I have stopped calling her because once baby was 2 days old she was always to busy to talk and never called back. I am a nurse and am working on becoming a lactation consultant as well as a LLL leader. So I try not to push breastfeeding but it's in my vocabulary so much it is hard not to advocate it. We now only speak on facebook. Before baby was born I tried inviting her lots of places but she is very shy in social settings so always had an excuse. My DH and I did go to Vegas with them last year for a few days ( I was 30 weeks pregnant). My husband mentioned the effects of CIO to her husband and he replied; "Yes I know you don't believe in it, but we don't have a problem listening to a crying baby". I've asked her in a private message why she prefers to pump over the breast and she never replied.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Posts
    43

    Default Re: Letting a 2 week old CIO

    I need to try and get over this. I will just have to keep telling myself that it is not my baby. And look and my kids and be so happy that they never had a drop of formula, nursed at the breast, fell asleep at the breast, carried in slings and never cried it out. The CIO people may think their kids seem just fine and aren't suffering but time will show who's kids are more secure. People already always say how happy and well behaved and intelligent my children are. Attachment parenting creates the worlds most beautiful people inside and out

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Location
    Texas
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    818

    Default Re: Letting a 2 week old CIO

    i dont think i could stay friends with that mom. that story made me sad and angry too. i'd just slowly let the friendship fade if it were me
    Christine
    Can't believe I've been and a full-time SAHM to Elena (5/2010) for over 2 yrs!
    Mami de mi preciosa Elenita
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  7. #7
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Posts
    555

    Default Re: Letting a 2 week old CIO

    Poor baby

    Maybe lend her a copy of the Happiest Baby on the Block, so she knows why he is crying? I feel like you need to say something before you end the friendship.

    This is serious. I think people often think crying babies do it to be a nuisance. That is what I thought before I became a mom (I really did not like babies at all before I had my son! lol). Then I realized when I had him that it was his way of saying "hey mom!!!" and it was easier to be loving because I knew why he was crying.

    Anyway. I feel so sad for the baby. I hope you can help them delay CIO until at least 6 months-1 year.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Posts
    43

    Default Re: Letting a 2 week old CIO

    So looking at my calendar. He was born 11-3 so not even 2 weeks yet. When she mentioned exclusive pumping when she was pregnant I bought her Womanly art of breastfeeding. We also had a long discussion at her baby shower as how easier breastfeeding will become in the long run. She obviously didn't want my advice and never read the book probably. Id like to mention to her one more time how breastfeeding from breast is still acheivable and the benefits of how breastfeeding is more than just food. Will I be to demanding? Should I drop it? Poor little baby.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
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    555

    Default Re: Letting a 2 week old CIO

    I might get flamed, but I think not responding to a 2 week old is worse than not breastfeeding. They soon learn that you aren't going to come and are resigned to it. I feel like that can seriously screw you up later in life.

    I'd definitely say something, but I am sure other people would know WHAT to say .

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    Ontario, Canada
    Posts
    2,476

    Default Re: Letting a 2 week old CIO

    Sadly at this point, you'd probably end up pushing them further away from BFing than towards it. They've obviously chosen their approach to parenting and nothing you say is going to change it. I know you feel helpless for that poor baby, but the reality is, you ARE helpless. Not your baby. Hopefully they'll get some good advice from their doctor / pediatrician / the hospital if baby is dropping weight.
    Mommy to our DD1 early bird (34 weeks, 2 days, 7lbs, 14oz)! Oct. 2nd, 2008 Emergency C-Section, Frank Breech, HEALTHY Girl!
    Weaned @ 17 months
    Our DD2 early bird (37 weeks, 3 days, 7lbs, 12oz) Aug. 10th, 2010 Our Successful VBAC, growing like a bad weed!
    Weaned @ 15 months
    Our DD3 early bird (37 weeks, 3 days, 7lbs, 6oz) Feb. 16th, 2012 Our 2nd VBAC and lightening speedy birth!

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