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Thread: Need Reassurance about nighttime

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Posts
    251

    Default Need Reassurance about nighttime

    I need some reassurance about overnight waking and nursing with my 14month. She is still waking 5-6 times a night and I almost always nurse her back to sleep. I feel mostly fine about this for now, though there are definitely times when I wish I could wave a magic wand and have her STTN like she did 7 months ago before her sleep regression began. Sometimes I worry that if I don't actively make efforts to night wean her she will never stop waking and nursing so much. I know that's wrong and that it's all part of the maturation process, but it seems like it's taking so long, especially when I talk to other parents who are shocked to hear how much my DD wakes up.

    I just need to hear from you moms of older toddlers. Please tell me it will happen eventually, that she will sleep longer than 2 hours at a time Please! BTW, it doesn't usually seem like she's actually hungry when she wakes. She's been teething constantly from 5 months and is now working on her 4th molar. She's also not quite walking. I keep hoping that once these developmental things progress, she'll start sleeping longer, but it never seems to work out that way. I just need a little perspective and reassurance. Thanks!
    -Hannah

    SAHM-WAHM to lovely Lizzie, born at home 9/14/2010


  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Location
    Northern Cal.
    Posts
    4,983

    Default Re: Need Reassurance about nighttime

    Joe never had a sleep "regression" because he slept awfully from day one, and never improved. Until he was about 18 months, when he stopped waking as frequently, was more likely to be able to settle himself back to sleep without nursing, and began sleeping much longer stretches. I had tried EVERYTHING and nothing had worked, so I think I say with certainty that nothing I did had anything to do with it. It was just him getting older.

    Now he usually sleeps in his crib until about 5 a.m. then sleeps another couple hours with us in bed.

    I've never night weaned him. Now he nurses at most once a day, usually around 5 a.m., and that's it. He's almost weaned. I'm glad I didn't night-wean him because he'd be totally weaned now if I had done that!

    But you can set limits without night weaning and I've definitely done that. I just cut him off at a certain point, unlatch him, and snuggle him to sleep. If he keeps asking for milk, I give it, but then rinse repeat.

    Basically, I think you're in the final stretch. Most babies improve a lot in sleep between 18 months and 2 years. If you're not miserable now, I wouldn't try to totally night-wean. Just my two cents, but for me, that would have been too much work!


    You can call me JoMo!

    Mom to baby boy Joe, born 5/4/09 and breastfed for more than two and a half years, and baby girl Maggie, born 7/9/12.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    21,341

    Default Re: Need Reassurance about nighttime

    It will get better, mama! I swear! Both my kids have been horrible sleepers. But my 5 year old sleeps through the night in her own bed, and has since age 2, and my toddler is down to 3 night-wakings without me having to push all that much. If you feel like your LO still needs to nurse, you're right. I know it can sometimes seem like you are the only one with a kid who doesn't sleep well from the get-go, but you're not. There's a vast secret society of parents who are quietly nursing their shame over their non-sleeping kids, and we all have to come out of the closet and support each other! I still remember talking to my DH's department chair at the annual Xmas party, and he asked "Does the baby sleep?" and I was like "Are you kidding me? No!" and he looked so relieved, and then told me that his kid was 7 and still needed a parent to come in and lay down with him.
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
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    4,894

    Default Re: Need Reassurance about nighttime

    My son is 14 months old and I'm right there with you. Last night I'm pretty sure he never actually fell asleep, just tossed and turned all night. It's so hard because we are at the point where we are ready to do more, to maybe think about ourselves a little. We're resentful because the "baby/infant/newborn" stage is over and we feel like we've paid our dues. But obviously, it's not over. For me it's so hard because my daughter DID sleep through the night (although not in her bed ) But it does get better. And even if it doesn't, once they get to a certain age you can just close their door
    If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun. - Katharine Hepburn

  5. #5

    Default Re: Need Reassurance about nighttime

    I'm right there with you. My nearly 15 mos old still wakes frequently at night too. We are getting molars, but I just am not sure I can do this much longer. I get up at 4:30 to get to work by 7 to pick him up at 430, so he can be in bed by 8. I've been considering trying to do something and attempted and failed last night it went like this.

    "mama?"
    "yeah baby?"
    "MMM-il?"
    "No sweetie Mama's milks are sleeping"
    "MMMMMM-IL?" *signs more*
    "No, milks are sleeping"
    *cry*

    we repeated this over and over for about 15 mins, then I had him lay with DH. He layed and waited quietly for half an hour. So, then i went back in, and it started all over again, only I gave up and nursed, and he only wanted to nurse for 1 minute, and then was asleep. After nearly and hour of protesting I was kicking myself.

    I wonder if gradually shortening the time he nurses each time could be a night weaning method?
    He will generally complain a bit if I say "mama all done" before he is, but he'll go back to sleep. Anyone have success with this method?
    Carmen-Noel mum to James born naturally 8/28/2010.
    Mommy's little pumpkin head


    We love our amber necklace from @llli*expat-mum. PM her for the most beautiful effective teething aide we've found!

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
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    Northern Cal.
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    Default Re: Need Reassurance about nighttime

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*carmen.arizona View Post
    I wonder if gradually shortening the time he nurses each time could be a night weaning method?
    He will generally complain a bit if I say "mama all done" before he is, but he'll go back to sleep. Anyone have success with this method?
    I had more luck with this as well. If Joe was just nursing and nursing and nursing, I'd say, "all done, honey," unlatch him and try to cuddle him to sleep. Most of the time, he took that fine. Denying the breast to begin with was always harder than cutting his session off a bit sooner.


    You can call me JoMo!

    Mom to baby boy Joe, born 5/4/09 and breastfed for more than two and a half years, and baby girl Maggie, born 7/9/12.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Posts
    43

    Default Re: Need Reassurance about nighttime

    My son is 14 months old and there are nights I swear he is up every 30 minutes....like everyday this last week. He did just get another tooth and seems like more are coming. His nose is looking a little runny so maybe sick. He had an ear infection just before 13 months that took 3 rounds of antibiotics to clear. It's only been 2 weeks so I'm starting to wonder if that's back again. Before his ear infection a little over a month ago I would say he was up 2-4 times a night. Both my kids went through wave cycles of good/bad sleep from 0-24 months. My daughter is 33 months now and goes to bed in her own bed at 7:30pm and wakes up at 7 am. On occasion and she cries out for me at night only because she has been using a dummy (my mistake) and needs it at night. If she looses it she calls for my help to find it. Lord help me how I'm going to break that habit. I bf her until 14 months and unfortunately had to wean due to lots of spotting during pregnancy with my son. I will never let anymore of my children use a dummy. It's an evil thing to get rid of. Anyway....once my daughter was around 18 months she only got up once a night a couple times a week. She was a horrible sleeper and got up every 2 hours from birth to 14 months. 14-18 months she had days when she was up alot and days where I guessed maybe only up 2-3 times. Something happens between 18 and 24 months and they just start to mature a little more with sleeping. I'm expecting the same with my son. There are days I really wish I could sleep 6-8 hours solid but I just remind myself that one day he will be an adult and not need me as much as he needs me now. I have come to realize that I should be happy and proud that I put myself through what somedays feels like death to allow them to grow into secure individuals. Hang in there and take naps on your days off of work and soon the months will pass and your baby will develope into sleeping through the night.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
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    2,628

    Default Re: Need Reassurance about nighttime

    That's about how often we were nursing until about 22 mos. Then she started going longer stretches and finally we did initiate night weaning at 27 mos because I couldn't sleep with her latched on because I was pregnant.
    Nursed my sweet daughter 3 years, 3 mos.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Location
    Northern CA
    Posts
    548

    Default Re: Need Reassurance about nighttime

    I sure hope you are all right and that we too are in the home stretch. DD is almost 16 months, and still waking every 1 to 2 hours all night long . I can count on one hand the number of times she has ever slept longer than 3 hours, and all of those times she had to at least still be physically touching me. If I try to roll away she wakes up. I am currently typing with one hand, because she is sleeping on the other one. I keep telling myself that it will get better when she gets older. I just desperately need that to be sometime before she goes off to college .

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Location
    Ontario, Canada
    Posts
    147

    Default Re: Need Reassurance about nighttime

    I am in the same situation. DD is 15 months, waking up shreiking every 30-90 minutes, cutting new teeth every week (last week 2 molars and a front bottom tooth). I too can count on one hand the number of times she STTN. I also don't know what to do. I also hope she sleeps before university. I have no adice, just sympathize!
    Mirkka

    Mama to DD born September 7, 2010, and DS born October 28, 2012 and Wife to DH July 5, 2008

    We love and love

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