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Thread: D-MER has anyone experienced this?

  1. #1
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    Default D-MER has anyone experienced this?



    Hi I'm wondering if anyone has experienced this themselves?
    I think I am going through this but it's quite intense.


    Dysphoric Milk Ejection Reflex


    Defining D-MER:
    What It Is

    Dysphoric Milk Ejection Reflex is a condition affecting lactating women that is characterized by an abrupt dysphoria, or negative emotions, that occur just before milk release and continuing not more than a few minutes.

    Preliminary testing shows that D-MER is treatable if severe and preliminary investigation shows that inappropriate dopamine activity at the time of the milk ejection reflex is the cause of D-MER.

    Dysphoria is defined as an unpleasant or uncomfortable mood, such as sadness, depressed mood, anxiety, irritability, or restlessness. Etymologically, it is the opposite of euphoria.


    What is does


    The dysphoria a mother feels comes on suddenly before letdown and leaves within 30 seconds to 2 minutes.

    She feels the dysphoria before she feels the letdown sensation in her breasts (though not all mothers feel a physical letdown sensation).

    Often by the end of the first letdown she feels fine again, the dysphoria is gone

    It can happen for the first letdown of a feeding or for all letdowns in a feeding, depending on the intensity of her D-MER.

    She may or may not have dysphoria with letdowns when pumping and before spontaneous letdowns, this also is dependent of the intensity of her D-MER.

    D-MER is like a reflex. It is controlled by hormones and can not be controlled by the mother. She can not talk herself out of the dysphoria.

    D-MER has nothing to do with nipple contact or with irritation with the sensation of nipple tugging. The mother does not even have to be thinking about breastfeeding (for example with spontaneous letdowns) for the dysphoria to happen when a milk release is triggered.

    To understand the reflex you must know that when a milk release is triggered prolactin levels begin to rise even before milk has begun to flow through the breasts. Dopamine helps control the secretion of prolactin and so dopamine levels must lower briefly for prolactin to rise. Once prolactin has begun it's slow climb, dopamine stabilizes. This happens to every lactating mother.

    Dopamine is known for having an effect on moods and in a mother with D-MER dopamine is behaving somehow inappropriately in its drop. It is in this very quick and immediate drop that a mother with D-MER feels her dysphoria. As dopamine levels restabilized, the dysphoria is gone.

    The experience of D-MER is variable and a mother will have either despondency D-MER, anxiety D-MER or agitation D-MER. Her dysphoria will fall on it's own place on the emotional spectrum, ranging from homesickness to anger.

    There are three intensities of D-MER that included mild, moderate and severe. These intensities are determined by the mother's interpretation of intensity, how long the D-MER takes to self correct, how many letdowns per feeding she feels the dysphoria and other criteria.


    Here is some more information :
    http://d-mer.org/Spectrum_and_Intensities.html


    Last edited by @llli*ishah2124; November 12th, 2011 at 09:49 AM.

  2. #2
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    Default Re: D-MER has anyone experienced this?

    I had it. It was actually directly connected to pumping for me. Whenever I would pump (which I waited until 5 weeks to start doing) I was filled with despair.

    Way too lazy for formula

  3. #3
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    Default Re: D-MER has anyone experienced this?

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*djs.mom View Post
    I had it. It was actually directly connected to pumping for me. Whenever I would pump (which I waited until 5 weeks to start doing) I was filled with despair.
    Ahh right, do you pump anymore?

    I have it when I pump and breastfeed. Both.

    It's horrible isn't it, it's such a hard feeling to describe. I could actually burst of crying everytime.

  4. #4
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    Default Re: D-MER has anyone experienced this?

    It is very hard. And it is over whelming. I think if it's happening all the time you should use techniques to distract yourself. Like have a magazine to read or a movies to watch so that you don't have to concentrate on it. I know clock watching doesn't help! But using the laptop, or watching TV usually does. A friend of mine here had it come and go the whole 3.5 years she nursed her daughter. I'll see if I can get her to come chime in.

    Way too lazy for formula

  5. #5
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    Default Re: D-MER has anyone experienced this?

    Hey Mama,
    So sorry you're struggling with this. I experienced it with both of my children. I found the first 6-8 weeks rough and then it got better. And then it came back around 6 months, went away again, and only came very rarely since then. My daughter is now 3.5 years old and still nursing.

    I was able to pinpoint some triggers for me besides the hormonal shift during letdown. When I was rushing and thinking of everything else I had to get done, the anxiety was worse. Like shelly mentioned, if I distracted myself with computer, tv, or even sometimes I'd tell my husband "can you just talk to me about something for the next 5 minutes?". Just something to shift my focus.

    I actually found pumping to be harder than nursing. I don't know it was physical or emotional thing, but the anxiety/sadness happened every single time I pumped. But not as frequently when I nurses my babies.

    It does get better, Mama. You can do this. Have you checked out the D-MER website? There are some tips, ideas, and suggestions over there. It's a very hard thing to deal with because its not common and it's a relatively new diagnosis. I hated when people would say "don't you just love nursing?". And I dreaded it! But almost 5 years later I am so thankful I stuck with it. Because it for a lot easier and I can finally say I have loved my nursing experiences.
    Lyn
    Nursing the girl with kaleidoscope eyes


    Mama to Daniel (12/3/06) and Lucy Jane (8/28/08)

  6. #6
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    Default Re: D-MER has anyone experienced this?

    Opps! My bad! I thought you and Lucy were done. Must have been just that you night weaned!

    Way too lazy for formula

  7. #7
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    Default Re: D-MER has anyone experienced this?

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*danlynclark View Post
    Hey Mama,
    So sorry you're struggling with this. I experienced it with both of my children. I found the first 6-8 weeks rough and then it got better. And then it came back around 6 months, went away again, and only came very rarely since then. My daughter is now 3.5 years old and still nursing.

    I was able to pinpoint some triggers for me besides the hormonal shift during letdown. When I was rushing and thinking of everything else I had to get done, the anxiety was worse. Like shelly mentioned, if I distracted myself with computer, tv, or even sometimes I'd tell my husband "can you just talk to me about something for the next 5 minutes?". Just something to shift my focus.

    I actually found pumping to be harder than nursing. I don't know it was physical or emotional thing, but the anxiety/sadness happened every single time I pumped. But not as frequently when I nurses my babies.

    It does get better, Mama. You can do this. Have you checked out the D-MER website? There are some tips, ideas, and suggestions over there. It's a very hard thing to deal with because its not common and it's a relatively new diagnosis. I hated when people would say "don't you just love nursing?". And I dreaded it! But almost 5 years later I am so thankful I stuck with it. Because it for a lot easier and I can finally say I have loved my nursing experiences.
    I get it apart from pumping and breastfeeding too -_-
    I useto get it after sex lol erm then it kinda stopped and now it's EVERYTIME I breastfeed/pump

  8. #8
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    Default Re: D-MER has anyone experienced this?

    I never really had it when I nursed, but this time, every time I pumped (which is quite a lot) I had some really strange feelings, ranging from wanting to cry to wanting to run away. It still goes on at times. While nursing, focus on and enjoy your baby. I don't have a good solution for it while pumping...a pump isn't cuddly!

    There have been several moms with it here. If you search D-mer and dysphoric over the whole forum, in two searches, you may find the threads. I can't remember exactly where they were or who started them.
    Susan
    Mama to my all-natural boys: Ian, 9-4-04, 11.5 lbs; Colton, 11-7-06, 9 lbs, in the water; Logan, 12-8-08, 9 lbs; Gavin, 1-18-11, 9 lbs; and an angel 1-15-06
    18+ months and for Gavin, born with an incomplete cleft lip and incomplete posterior cleft palate
    Sealed for time and eternity, 7-7-93
    Always babywearing, cosleeping and cloth diapering. Living with oppositional defiant disorder and ADHD. Ask me about cloth diapering and sewing your own diapers!

  9. #9
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    Default Re: D-MER has anyone experienced this?

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*aprilsmagic View Post
    a pump isn't cuddly!
    Haha you made me laugh

    Thanks for sharing and yeah it is that kind of feeling it's horrible!

    I will search it up, do you think it could get worse if not treated

  10. #10
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    Default Re: D-MER has anyone experienced this?

    Do you think you are sufferring from PPD?

    Way too lazy for formula

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