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Thread: I think we're done...{{sob}}

  1. #1
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    Default I think we're done...{{sob}}

    I'm writing this with a heavy heart...I've been crying for a week now. October 26 (about that date) my DD went cold turkey on me. From 4xday down to ZERO. I know her canines are coming in and maybe her molars, I'm not sure...but she wants nothing to do with nursing...zip...zero. Not even at our "best" sessions like the morning and bedtime. 22 months, I was really hoping to keep going...I'm not ready at all. I can't believe she just up and quit on me like this...no warning...no gradual weaning. Is there any hope that it's temporary? We're going on 2 weeks here. Sigh... I try to pump but my body no longer responds to it. So I have no idea how much longer my supply can hold on. I'm grieving like I lost my best friend... I'm an emotional roller coaster and my hormones feel all out of whack, like withdrawal or something. It's plain awful! I miss the bonding... She still wants to sit on my lap and DEMANDS that my shirt be open, but no interest in actually nursing. I would rather keep my shirt closed than go through the agony. I have no one to talk to about this...going into a depressed state over it. Just need support...thanks to all my LLL friends for listening.
    Gina - SAHM to Sofia Rose born day after Christmas! 12/26/09

    Nursing two years and still going!

  2. #2
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    Default Re: I think we're done...{{sob}}

    22 months is nothing to shrug at. Great work mama! It's always bittersweet. But there are so many other ways to bond with your daughter. You can still cuddle like crazy. And who knows, she might not really be done. Just exercising her freedom.

    I will say I know how you feel. My daughter quit on me at about 18-19 months. She had a cold, got frustrated with getting nothing and refused for good. I offered for a month after. I was sure I couldn't parent without it. That she would never again go to sleep for me. But we found our way. You will too.
    If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun. - Katharine Hepburn

  3. #3
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    Default Re: I think we're done...{{sob}}

    Oh, mama, that's HARD! You've done great, but that is still hard.

    Joe is weaning more gradually, but he did some stuff starting at around 22 months that was NOT how I envisioned weaning. Like violently and angrily rejecting the breast when it was offered. It hurt. I mean, he's just a little boy. He doesn't know the impact of these actions on me. But it hurt. And it was hard because my IRL friends were just like, "Great! He's FINALLY WEANING!" and even made me feel a little like, in not wanting him to wean in this way, I needed "to cut the apron strings."

    I was so glad to have my buds here on the forum. These ladies understand. Weaning is always bittersweet. When it really doesn't go the way you had hoped, it's really hard. But I think you can come to a place where you feel good about the long and wonderful nursing relationship you had.


    You can call me JoMo!

    Mom to baby boy Joe, born 5/4/09 and breastfed for more than two and a half years, and baby girl Maggie, born 7/9/12.

  4. #4
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    Default Re: I think we're done...{{sob}}

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*joe.s.mom View Post
    Oh, mama, that's HARD! You've done great, but that is still hard.

    Joe is weaning more gradually, but he did some stuff starting at around 22 months that was NOT how I envisioned weaning. Like violently and angrily rejecting the breast when it was offered. It hurt. I mean, he's just a little boy. He doesn't know the impact of these actions on me. But it hurt. And it was hard because my IRL friends were just like, "Great! He's FINALLY WEANING!" and even made me feel a little like, in not wanting him to wean in this way, I needed "to cut the apron strings."

    I was so glad to have my buds here on the forum. These ladies understand. Weaning is always bittersweet. When it really doesn't go the way you had hoped, it's really hard. But I think you can come to a place where you feel good about the long and wonderful nursing relationship you had.
    I think I remember you telling me that....about him getting angry. Maybe it's a phase thing around 22 months (or just coincides with teething) because that's exactly what Sofia is doing, she's turned really violent on me. And screaming as if literally someone is torturing her. It's not her everyday "i'm upset" cry...it's an all out death scream that just hurts me to the core. I guess maybe she still wants to but is in so much pain she won't allow herself to even attempt it and it's beyond upsetting to her that she just out of nowhere shrieks, kicks, and throws punches....It takes everything I have just to calm her down. It's quite scary. But if I DON'T OFFER at all, she gets even more upset. Not sure what to do... but she's still not taking any milk at this point and it's just becoming so gut wrenching for both of us. Do I just pull the plug? Or say some prayers that she goes back to it?
    Gina - SAHM to Sofia Rose born day after Christmas! 12/26/09

    Nursing two years and still going!

  5. #5
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    Default Re: I think we're done...{{sob}}

    Yeah, I think it's about independence, but in your daughter's case, if nursing hurts her, she may also have developed a slight aversion to the breast (I mean, yeah, you can hardly blame her).

    It's really up to you, but if it were me, I would try to continue offering in a low key way, especially if there is one time that works better (for me, that's the middle of the night, but he won't always take it even then). Having gone through some grieving over weaning Joe earlier than I had planned, I found I was more relaxed and okay with however things work out. And the crazy thing is, he's still nursing. Not a lot, but almost every day. If I had just cut him off, I know he would have gotten over it quickly, but I'm happier with a more gradual process, that gives me some lovely nursing snuggles to savor before it's over.



    You can call me JoMo!

    Mom to baby boy Joe, born 5/4/09 and breastfed for more than two and a half years, and baby girl Maggie, born 7/9/12.

  6. #6
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    Default Re: I think we're done...{{sob}}

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*kst.7399 View Post
    22 months is nothing to shrug at. Great work mama! It's always bittersweet. But there are so many other ways to bond with your daughter. You can still cuddle like crazy. And who knows, she might not really be done. Just exercising her freedom.

    I will say I know how you feel. My daughter quit on me at about 18-19 months. She had a cold, got frustrated with getting nothing and refused for good. I offered for a month after. I was sure I couldn't parent without it. That she would never again go to sleep for me. But we found our way. You will too.
    Thanks for the support. That's pretty much how I feel..like she no longer needs me...or that I can't parent without it. I couldn't have said it better myself. I just have this knot in my stomach from mourning over this. I'm still offering, I can't help it, that's all I know I'll probably try, like you, for a month so that I will know in my heart that I tried and if it's temporary she'll pick it back up and if not, time to move on.
    Gina - SAHM to Sofia Rose born day after Christmas! 12/26/09

    Nursing two years and still going!

  7. #7
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    Default Re: I think we're done...{{sob}}

    @llli*joe.s.mom - how did you get through the 2 year molars with nursing? I finally figured out thats what it is She really hasn't gone back to nursing. She tries before bedtime, but that's about it. I hear alot of people stop nursing around the time of the 2 year molars...maybe it's common? Just curious how you guys worked past it and kept going? Thanks
    Gina - SAHM to Sofia Rose born day after Christmas! 12/26/09

    Nursing two years and still going!

  8. #8
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    Default Re: I think we're done...{{sob}}

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*italianprinses View Post
    @llli*joe.s.mom - how did you get through the 2 year molars with nursing? I finally figured out thats what it is She really hasn't gone back to nursing. She tries before bedtime, but that's about it. I hear alot of people stop nursing around the time of the 2 year molars...maybe it's common? Just curious how you guys worked past it and kept going? Thanks
    Joe got all his teeth early. So he got his 1-yrs at like 11 months, and his 2 yrs at like 18 months. So he nursed, in a sort of grinding way, all the way through that. Motrin is your friend.


    You can call me JoMo!

    Mom to baby boy Joe, born 5/4/09 and breastfed for more than two and a half years, and baby girl Maggie, born 7/9/12.

  9. #9
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    Default Re: I think we're done...{{sob}}

    Well...the 2nd molars have pretty much killed our nursing sessions...completely. Pretty sure this is it this time. It's been several weeks with nothing. I'm in horrible throbbing pain every day. She still wants the shirt open at nap time and bedtime but she looks at the "milkies" and points to her teeth and won't even attempt it. My supply is extremely low, all my nursing tanks are sagging. This.is.awful... Having such a hard time with this, it's crazy...sigh. Last time she nursed we were still at 4x/day...this whole going cold turkey is hard to handle. I guess I'm also curious if my milk will dry up quickly...or if there is a SLIGHT chance that after the teeth pop through (and she decides to try to nurse again) that there will be milk available?
    Last edited by @llli*italianprinses; November 27th, 2011 at 07:05 PM.
    Gina - SAHM to Sofia Rose born day after Christmas! 12/26/09

    Nursing two years and still going!

  10. #10
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    Default Re: I think we're done...{{sob}}

    If you're still in pain, you still have milk. But even if you don't nurse for weeks, and then she comes back, you won't have much to start with, but you'll probably have something. Many women continue to be able to express a little milk for YEARS after weaning.


    You can call me JoMo!

    Mom to baby boy Joe, born 5/4/09 and breastfed for more than two and a half years, and baby girl Maggie, born 7/9/12.

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