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Thread: Sleep question....(kinda long)

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
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    Lehigh Acres, Florida
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    Question Sleep question....(kinda long)

    My lo is 4months old and is a big guy at 18lbs 4oz. When we first brought him home he slept 6 hours at night and I was told that was normal. That didn't last long and soon he was waking up every 45min! During this time it was tough and I almost quit. I stuck it out and before I knew it my little guy was doing 7-9 hours a night. From 10:30pm-to whenever. I was blessed with this sleep pattern for a month and it was bliss. My breast milk must have adjusted to this sleep pattern as well because I was able to sleep in regular pjs with no breast pads I was thrilled. BUT now he isn't sleeping well at all. We have the same bedtime schedule and we stick to it...bedtime ranges from 10:30pm-11:30pm. He naps for 20min here and there during the day...with one real nap that is about 2hours long. He is teething and I have noticed a change in him but nothing over the top. He seems to want to nurse without a break from 8pm on. During that time he has is eyes closed and seems to be just comfort nursing but idk.

    I guess my question is, what can I do to help him get back his old sleep pattern? Right now he struggles to fall asleep and once he does he is up after 5 hours. I then bring him into bed to nurse him and he is on my breasts nonstop till 8am. When I say nonstop I mean really...he stays on one for a loooooong time and then pulls off and fusses and I switch him to the other one and so on and so on. I don't sleep good with him in bed with me because my back starts to hurt.

    I know that 5 hours is not bad and some of you ladies still have similar nights but I was told by his doctor that he should be sleeping 8 hours at night and that the sleep pattern he has at 6month will be with him for many many years. His doc is a breast feeding friendly doc and has been super helpful with everything and she also never pushes solids She suggested I let him cry for a bit so he has a chance to sooth himself to sleep. Although I have done this in the past...I am concerned with the emotional toll this will have on him. I don't want to ruin the relationship I have right now with him. Please I really need some input. TIA. I am sorry this was so long and rambling.

    Married to Josh 05/07/2005
    Grace 12/17/2006 FF
    Emma 01/22/2008 EP
    Frank 06/26/2011 EBF

    "While breastfeeding may not seem like the right choice for every parent, it is the best choice for every baby" Amy Spangler

    **** 8 beautiful months and going strong ****

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Location
    Kent, OH
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    Default Re: Sleep question....(kinda long)

    If he's only getting 2 hours of sleep and a few naps, maybe an earlier bedtime might help? My DD only sleeps about as much, and I put her to bed around 9PM and she usually sleeps soundly until 3 or 5AM.
    Full time working mama to a precious
    Due date was 05/02/2011 - born 04/04/2011 at 36 weeks exactly.
    and 14 months and still going strong

  3. #3
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    Apr 2011
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    466

    Default Re: Sleep question....(kinda long)

    agree with PP, my first thought was also an earlier bedtime.
    march 2011... the light of my life

    i love my little one

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Sleep question....(kinda long)

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*mallory3kids View Post
    I know that 5 hours is not bad and some of you ladies still have similar nights but I was told by his doctor that he should be sleeping 8 hours at night and that the sleep pattern he has at 6month will be with him for many many years.
    As my MIL would say, BULL CORNDOG. If that were true, DD and DS1 would be waking up all of the time. They have, however, slept consistently through the night since they were about 1 year (I think). They each went through periods where they would get up and sneak into our bed at sometime but overall we have had happy bedtimes and good sleep. At six months, however, neither of them were STTN.

    Considering that DS2 was up approximately 1.47 million times last night, I don't have any good suggestions for you. You might look at Pantley's No-Cry Sleep Solution for ideas.
    I am Erin--happily married to the nerd of my dreams for 15 years
    High School Science Teacher
    Mother to: Thing 1 9/23/01, bf 15 mo, diagnosed with stage 4 neuroblastoma 1/29/02, officially cancer free for ten years in August 2012
    Thing 2 6/6/05, bf 12 mo, obsessed with dynamite
    Glowworm 2/18/11, bf 15 months and counting

  5. #5
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    Default Re: Sleep question....(kinda long)

    It seems like your son might not be sleeping enough during the day, could he be over tired? Something about cicadian rthyms.

    I found around 3-4 months my girls started going to bed earlier and earlier (from 10pm to now 8pm). Maybe a gradual change in his last feeding before you put him in bed?

    Have you tried a pacifer/are you interested in using a pacifer?

    I may be a minority on here, but I do let my children cry a bit. DD2 will be fast asleep, I put her in her crib and she starts screaming. Then she rolls over and is asleep in 60 seconds. Sometimes I think they just need to release a little energy to fall asleep. Do you try to put him back in bed after feeding at 5am? Does he cry? He may just need a few minutes before he is back to sleep on his own. This is IMO and my experience.

    Around 4months is when my girls started self-soothing with their thumbs. I tried binkies and they never took to it.
    Full time working Mom to 3, DH is my hero as a SAHD:
    DS July'09, nursed for 12 weeks
    DD1 & DD2 April'11, tandem nursed for 16 months

  6. #6
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    Feb 2010
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    Default Re: Sleep question....(kinda long)

    It's normal for a 4 month old to still have frequent wakings at night, despite what your pediatrician said. I would agree, however, that an earlier bedtime may help with this situation. At that age, I was having a hard time with daytime naps with my DS, too. Teething can definately mess things up, but don't be afraid of an early bedtime. Even now, at the age of 2, if my son goes to bed too late (which is anytime after 7:30pm for him) he is restless and wakes up WAY too early in the morning. If he's asleep before 7:30pm, then he sleeps soundly and later into the morning (which is still too early for ME, but that's another story!). It's counter-intuitive, but SLEEP BEGETS SLEEP! I'm just saying that there's a sweet spot in there somewhere for every baby, and keep trying new things and you'll find it. He'll probably still wake up hungry at night a few times, but maybe an earlier bedtime would help. Hang in there and good luck! You're doing a great job.
    Blessed with DS - born 9/2/09 - nursed/pumped for 12 months
    Blessed with DD - born 3/27/12 my dreamfeeder

    903 ounces donated.
    http://www.wakemed.org/landing.cfm?id=135

  7. #7
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    Apr 2011
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    Default Re: Sleep question....(kinda long)

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*toddlerandtwins View Post
    It seems like your son might not be sleeping enough during the day, could he be over tired? Something about cicadian rthyms.

    I found around 3-4 months my girls started going to bed earlier and earlier (from 10pm to now 8pm). Maybe a gradual change in his last feeding before you put him in bed?
    Yes, my baby is also getting sleepy earlier and earlier. I used to think it was an early evening nap but I realize now that it's an earlier bedtime.

    I'm reading a book on sleep patterns and apparently babies do set up their biological clocks to sleep earlier at some point during the first year or so. I notice that if she misses the window for going to bed, she gets very tired and paradoxically has a hard time falling asleep and staying asleep in deep sleep. As PP said, sleep begets sleep.

    Also... my baby does not STTN by any stretch of the imagination! The longest she goes, on very exceptional nights, is 5 hours between feeds. Usually it's more like every 3 or 4. She's 7 months.
    march 2011... the light of my life

    i love my little one

  8. #8
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    Aug 2011
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    Default Re: Sleep question....(kinda long)

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*mallory3kids View Post
    I guess my question is, what can I do to help him get back his old sleep pattern? Right now he struggles to fall asleep and once he does he is up after 5 hours. I then bring him into bed to nurse him and he is on my breasts nonstop till 8am. When I say nonstop I mean really...he stays on one for a loooooong time and then pulls off and fusses and I switch him to the other one and so on and so on. I don't sleep good with him in bed with me because my back starts to hurt.

    I know that 5 hours is not bad and some of you ladies still have similar nights but I was told by his doctor that he should be sleeping 8 hours at night and that the sleep pattern he has at 6month will be with him for many many years...


    Your doctor, plain and simple, is wrong about the sleep patterns. I've done research on baby sleep because my own DS hasn't been a great sleeper. We got a couple long stretches in the beginning (4-6 hrs), but all of that changed when he was a week old. I can count on one hand the number of times he's slept in increments greater than 4 hours at night, and he's 8.5 months old! Two of those nights have been the last two nights, too. Babies' sleeping and waking patterns change all the time. There's nothing you can do but set the conditions for sleep--you can't make your LO sleep. Unfortunately, this goes for naps as well.

    I think trying an earlier bedtime might help, but might not. I also recommend Pantley's No Cry Sleep Solution. I'll be honest, though--we do an early bedtime, and I've tried everything we can reasonably do from Pantley, and nothing helped for us. But we're consistent, and DS is finally possibly getting longer stretches at night (as in, this has happened the past two nights, so I'm not sure how long it will last.) My DS still sleeps for a grand total of about 20 minutes between 2 naps at daycare, and then usually for about an hour when he gets home. So, I don't have the answers. I just know I can't make him sleep or keep sleeping. I can set conditions so that he'll fall asleep, and I can avoid doing things that will wake him up, but I can't make him fall asleep or stay asleep. It's the same for adults, I think: short of drugging me, I don't think anyone could make me fall asleep or stay asleep. Someone could help, but they couldn't make me do either of those.

    For your back: have you tried a pillow behind your back and between your knees while you're on your side? That way, you've got some support.

  9. #9
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    Default Re: Sleep question....(kinda long)

    I have never heard someone say that about how they sleep at 6 months is how they will sleep forever. That was not the case for my DS. He woke more than once at night then and only wakes once at the most now. Be happy with your 5 hours If you give up on getting more unbroken sleep, it will feel better. I am not being mean when I say it. It's true. Lots of people will tell you that. When I gave up on sleeping, things didn't seem so bad anymore. We coslept from 3 months on and that helped too. Now, at 4 years old, DS sleeps well and so do I. He starts in his bed and winds up in ours. I usually don't notice he got in bed with us until morning. Night waking will not last forever.

    ETA: I wanted to add that I couldn't sleep with DS attached for comfort. I, eventually, had to just roll over and let him fuss until he fell asleep. Then it got so bad that we tried putting him in his crib and he slept great in there for months and months. Something changed along the way though but we made it back to a good sleep situation. I don't know if there is anything regular about children's sleep patterns except that they are always changing.
    Last edited by @llli*juno; November 3rd, 2011 at 12:06 PM.

  10. #10
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    Default Re: Sleep question....(kinda long)

    I notice you say you have a "bedtime schedule"... do you also have a routine. IE: every night, I either give my LO a bath or don't then, lotion, PJ's, nurse, rock, sleep. also, I turn off the lights before nursing and put on a lamp, and also put on the cool mist humidifer. Pretty sure she's learned that all these things lead up to bedtime "for the night"
    Full time working mama to a precious
    Due date was 05/02/2011 - born 04/04/2011 at 36 weeks exactly.
    and 14 months and still going strong

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