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Thread: I'm afraid i'm creating a monster!

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    Texas
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    Default I'm afraid i'm creating a monster!

    My son is ten weeks old and he loves to breastfeed. He is the first of my three to successfully bf past a month. Anyway I am about to go back to work and my DH is a sahd and I work nights. Lately my baby is waking up frequently to eat and I have been falling asleep while nursing. Which basically is leading to co-sleeping.This is fine for me but I know my dh isn't comfortable sleeping with the baby. Also we are having some trouble getting ds to take a bottle. Do you think since I won't be there at night my ds will just adjust to a different routine with my dh? My dh says I worry too much but I just keep thinking that ds will keep dh up all night and then he'll be too exhausted to care for everyone else during the day while I'm sleeping. Anyway just venting my worries.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    I am Kate
    Wife to Jason
    Mom to Aubrey 4/06 queen
    Mom to Nathan 5/08 Relactated for him and he got EBM for a year
    Mom to Jack 8/11

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Location
    cleveland, ohio
    Posts
    103

    Default Re: I'm afraid i'm creating a monster!

    I understand your husbands worry about co- sleeping. I work in a hospital and have seen some bad outcomes from people falling a sleep and rolling on baby. Though moms also roll on the baby it is more common that it someone else. Eventually he will take the bottle... He will probably take it better from your husband than you. Is it better when someone else feeds him from the bottle? If he goes on strike..... It will most likely be temporary because if he is hungry enough he will eat!! At least in my experience!! You just have toilet your Son and husband get their routine going!!! Don't worry while at work!!! Eventually that will figure it out!!
    Last edited by @llli*samsmom106; October 31st, 2011 at 06:20 AM.
    I'm Kelly,mom to Sam!!10.6.09: and Kate!! 9.15.11 and away!!!
    Married to Matt since 10.13.07!!!!
    Also loving my furry brown lab, Bo!!!

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
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    Default Re: I'm afraid i'm creating a monster!

    If your husband is not comfortable with bed sharing, he need not actually have baby in bed with him. Co-sleeping can also mean sleeping in the same room so he can hear the baby stirring & respond. After all, if baby is hungry, he will need to get up and get him a bottle, unlike a breastfeeding mom who never has to get up when bed sharing. So he may not get all the benefits of bed sharing you do. If you read up on co-sleeping, you will find that most experts on the subject agree that overlying by an unimpared breastfeeding MOTHER is extremely rare, but other issues occur such as entrapment because people are "bed sharing" on couches (never safe) or adult beds that have not been safeguarded to prevent entrapment, falls, entaglement in hair, adult clothing, heavy blankets etc. But as far as a dad bed sharing alone with his infant I don't know. I am sure dads fall asleep with thier babies all the time (I have the pictures of my husband nappping with our sons to prove it) but most co-sleeping safety suggestions I read suggest baby sleep next to MOM, not dad. Bed sharing can be an excellent tool for getting more sleep and increasing breastfeeding duration, I urge anyone considering bed-sharing to read up on the safety reccomendations, just as you would not put you child in a crib that has not been put through a safety check. Attachment Parenting International, Dr. Sears, Dr. James McKenna, and Elizabeth Pantley are some co-sleeping resources.

    In this particular case, I think what may happen is baby will want to co-sleep with you or in some other way nurse more during the day. Certainly many moms who work during the day find co-sleeping and/or nursing at night allows for reconnection, keeps milk supply up, and gets more milk into baby. You may find the same works for you just with the hours reversed. Have you searched the working mother articles on this site? Lots of suggestions for that transition. Also there are a couple great articles for getting baby to take bottle, search 'baby refuses bottle." Two books with good info for working breastfeeding moms are the new The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding (8th edition) and Nursing Mother, Working Mother.

    As far as baby keeping dad up all night and he is tired the next day-thems the breaks for stay at home parents, right? If your roles were reversed, you would be the one up at night nursing baby and taking care of all the kids during the day. In fact, that's the way it is for most stay at homes even when the other parent works during the day. Bottle fed/formula fed babies often wake frequently at night too, this is not the exclusive domain of breastfed babies! Your husband will figure it out.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
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    381

    Default Re: I'm afraid i'm creating a monster!

    Can you DH bring baby to you to nurse during the day while you are sleeping and then take him out when he is finished? Then the baby can stay awake more during the day and sleep while you are working and DH is sleeping. Just an idea.
    Full time working Mom to 3, DH is my hero as a SAHD:
    DS July'09, nursed for 12 weeks
    DD1 & DD2 April'11, tandem nursed for 16 months

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
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    Default Re: I'm afraid i'm creating a monster!

    Thank you thank you thank you for all of your responses!!!
    As far as the cosleeping goes I'm mainly just worried that he will be used to sleeping with me. I'm making an effort to put him in his cradle after feedings at night. The cradle is right next to the bed so he is right next to me. The thing is I love to co sleep. I love having his warm little body nestled next to mine. I wonder if I co sleep if my lo will sleep in his cradle while I'm not there? I'm mainly hoping that my LO and DH make their own routine and my LO can switch back to my routine when I'm home at night.
    Can you DH bring baby to you to nurse during the day while you are sleeping and then take him out when he is finished? Then the baby can stay awake more during the day and sleep while you are working and DH is sleeping. Just an idea.
    My plan is to nurse him as much as he wants during the day and let him take his naps with me. He is still at the age where he sleeps most of the day. My idea was to put the monitor in with me and if I'm having a hard time settling the baby after nursing i'll just call out to my DH.
    As far as baby keeping dad up all night and he is tired the next day-thems the breaks for stay at home parents, right? If your roles were reversed, you would be the one up at night nursing baby and taking care of all the kids during the day. In fact, that's the way it is for most stay at homes even when the other parent works during the day. Bottle fed/formula fed babies often wake frequently at night too, this is not the exclusive domain of breastfed babies! Your husband will figure it out.
    Of course your right. I think sometimes I just have to find something to worry about At least that's what my DH says.
    My DH isn't nearly as worried about everything as I am. This is the first time I will be leaving one of my babies that wouldn't eat without me. Of course I worry that he won't take the bottle but also worry that he will finally take it and decide he likes it better
    Anyways just wanted to thank everyone for their responses
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    I am Kate
    Wife to Jason
    Mom to Aubrey 4/06 queen
    Mom to Nathan 5/08 Relactated for him and he got EBM for a year
    Mom to Jack 8/11

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
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    5,407

    Default Re: I'm afraid i'm creating a monster!

    I don't belive there is a baby in the world who "likes" bottles better than mom. Nipple "confusion"/flow "confusion" can occur, where (the theory is) a baby is like "hey, I have to work harder for it with mom than the bottle, what is going on?" But I don't think that has anything to do with liking one better than the other. Breastfeeding is well established and baby is over 2 months, that will help a lot.

    This is some very helpful bottle feeding suggestions for caregivers who are bottle feeding breastfed babies, includes feeding techniques that give baby more control over the flow and so may help alleviate overfeeding and flow confusion. Also includes info on safe storage and handling of human milk: http://www.llli.org/docs/00000000000...fyour_milk.pdf


    Of course you are worried-Worryer in chief-that's the mommy job title right? Sounds like you are doing so well, keep looking for support and help with anything that comes up from LLL and others who support your parenting choices. I am sure it is going to go just fine.

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