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Thread: when does it "get better"?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Posts
    63

    Default when does it "get better"?

    Hi Mammas
    Our LO is now nearly 13mths old and still waking very frequently at night. About 3months ago I thought we had it more under control with a few techniques from Elizabeth Pantley, but that was very short lived!!!

    I feel like a broken record with these emails (sorry to everyone that keeps reading these emails), but I am seriously struggling with the lack of sleep for more than 12 months now!

    The last month LO has woken at least 5 times a night and the last week at least 7 times eg every 1.5hrs.

    I still nurse him to sleep at night, then rock him before placing him in his bed. I read lots of people put their baby/toddlers to sleep drowsy but I have never managed to do that

    LO goes to bed around 8pm each night and still has two naps during the day. He will wake for the day between 7,30am & 8.30am depending on how difficult the previous night was.

    I place him in his cot for naps mostly, sometimes he sleeps in the buggy if we are out. At night I place him in his cot at first then bring him to bed when he wakes.

    Lately he wants to nurse EVERY time he wakes and then won't go back to sleep, instead cries and I have to get up and rock him back to sleep. So, I feel "angry" that after co sleeping to make it "easier" I still have to get up any way

    He has always been an in arms baby and we still carry/hold him a lot. He started walking at 12 months which has made day times easier eg he can find us himself.

    I am exhausted, my husband is severely sleep deprived. We feel like we haven
    t done a good job of teaching our son to sleep.

    Everyone keeps saying it gets better.....

    Last night I tried to rock/pat without nursing but he cried and cried until he had the breast. It's really tough on him and us at the moment.

    Does anyone have any good solutions here?????? Have we created this frequent waking by picking him up each time, putting him in bed asleep and rocking /nursing all through the night????
    Maria,
    Wife to Cristiano
    Mamma to Giacomo 21 September 2010 and Elia 8 July 2014
    Living the "vita dolce" in Tuscany, Italy.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Posts
    4,007

    Default Re: when does it "get better"?

    oh mama I've been there. My son nursed every 2 hours at night for a long time. Are you co-sleeping?
    ~Jenn~


    mother of 2 boys!
    08/14/98~~03/20/08

    Birth: 7lbs 12oz, 1 year: 22lbs 11oz
    until he self-weaned 4 days before his third birthday ... still on occasion ... and happily

    ************************************************** ************************************************** *****************
    People need to understand that when they're deciding between breastmilk and formula, they're not deciding between Coke and Pepsi.... They're choosing between a live, pure substance and a dead substance made with the cheapest oils available. ~Chele Marmet

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Posts
    33

    Default Re: when does it "get better"?

    Hi! My son is almost 13 months and does the same thing at night. He is able to go down to sleep awake - he falls asleep on his own for naps and for bed at night. However, he still wakes up 3-6 times per night and will not settle without nursing. I know it doesnt give you a solution but I wanted you to know you are not alone! And I dont think nursing/rocking him to sleep is an issue besides being time consuming for you.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Posts
    77

    Default Re: when does it "get better"?

    Honestly, my daughter woke to nurse every few hours until she was 2. Maybe start refusing to get up to rock him and just have him lay there with you. It might be sleepless for a few nights but he will adjust. Just an idea, you could try it on days you/your hubby don't have to go to work the next day. When I night weaned Ava I just turned my back towards her when she wanted to nurse and she would wimper a bit but eventually FINALLY started sleeping through the night. However, she is three now and last night was up from 2-4 am!
    Mommy to
    Ava 9.24.08 self weaned at 2.5
    August 8.19.11 still nursing, trying to wean gently
    Abram 9.12.13

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Posts
    1,501

    Default Re: when does it "get better"?

    After my own experience with DS2, I really believe that some babies just need to nurse more often than others. Not necessarily for the nutrition, but for the comfort. Even after weaning DS2 a few months ago, which certainly had made at least the first half of the night easier (and occasionally he even sleeps all night in his own bed!), he still ends up waking a lot in the middle of the night and joining us in bed; and he almost always wants to fall asleep touching my breast somehow.

    During the day, he still touches them, too. Sometimes he pinches them, and I say "ouch!" and "please don't do that." Then he'll say "I'm sorry"-- to the breast, mind-- not to me, and he'll pat my breast and give it kisses.

    All this to say, it might make things a little easier if you weaned, but then again if your LO really still needs the comfort (which it sounds like he does), he's still going to be nightwaking a lot regardless.
    ~Sylvia~

    Wife to Nick, m. May 2005

    Mommy to Gabriel (b. January 2007, 8lbs. 15oz.), nursed 18 months.

    Isaac (b. August 2009, 9lbs. 1oz- naturally), nursed 22 months, through PPD/PPA and emergency gallbladder surgery.

    and Corban (b. March 2012, 11lbs. 6Oz.- naturally in the water), my NICU baby, still nursing strong at age 2!


    Daughter of God

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Location
    TX
    Posts
    2,197

    Default Re: when does it "get better"?

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*pianosinger View Post
    All this to say, it might make things a little easier if you weaned, but then again if your LO really still needs the comfort (which it sounds like he does), he's still going to be nightwaking a lot regardless.


    Different babies (people) have different sleep styles and needs and abilities. My first, I coslept with until she was 3 months, nursed until she was 6 months, did CIO . My second, I coslept full-time with until oh, 3 years or so, still occasionally sleep with, night nursed until somewhere around 18-24 months, still occasionally day nurse at almost 4, always respond to at night. They both started sleeping more easily by the time they were 3.5-4 years old. I think they just sleep how they do. The people who have babies/kids who sleep well think it is because of their technique. I think it is because of their kids. If your kids is not sleeping well yet, it is because *your kid* does not sleep well yet, not because you have somehow trained him not to. My feeling is that once they are asleep, it is their bodies, not their training, that determine when and how often they will wake. Which is to say, I have no idea when *your baby* will be sleeping better, but it will happen when your baby is able to do it. Hang in there! Really, truly, once it is over, it will not seem as if it was as hard as it does now.
    Teal

    25 May 96 and 14 January 08 and 27 February 2012

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Posts
    2,005

    Default Re: when does it "get better"?

    How often is your lo nursing during the day? Do you work outside of tge home/away from your lo?
    Proud mom of 2 boys, both weaned gradually and with love.


    Find a local LLL leader

    For each and every one of us, the person from whom we can learn the most is our own baby: listen to him. - Mary White, LLL co-founder

    The best-kept secret in child psychology is that children who were never spanked are among the best behaved."
    Murray Straus, Ph.D.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Location
    Ohio
    Posts
    783

    Default Re: when does it "get better"?

    Maybe go down to one nap during the day?
    SAHM to all my boys

    Wyatt 2/23/99
    Isaiah 7/11/00
    Hunter 2/9/10- made it through our dairy allergy!
    and loving from afar, my DSS Kaleb 3/30/97

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Posts
    2,627

    Default Re: when does it "get better"?

    My daughter transitioned to one nap a day around 13-14 mos. That helped.

    Have you ever read Dr. Sears' Fussy Baby Book? That had a lot of good ideas that helped us.

    It does get easier but every baby is on their own time table...I wish I had some great advice for you, but I hope you get some sleep soon.
    Nursed my sweet daughter 3 years, 3 mos.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Posts
    63

    Default Re: when does it "get better"?

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*sch.mommy View Post
    oh mama I've been there. My son nursed every 2 hours at night for a long time. Are you co-sleeping?
    yes we co sleep after around 11 pm but it makes no difference in his sleep pattern
    Maria,
    Wife to Cristiano
    Mamma to Giacomo 21 September 2010 and Elia 8 July 2014
    Living the "vita dolce" in Tuscany, Italy.

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