Re: 5 days in and feeling stressed
Mama, I think you experience is very normal for a mama with 2 kids. When my second was born I felt very sad because I felt like I had lost my close bond with my first baby. All of a sudden I didn't have time to cuddle her or tuck her in or do all the stuff we'd done pre-baby. All I could do was to take care of the new baby first and myself second. But not to worry- you haven't lost your connection with your first baby- just redefined it. It's going to take some time to settle in to your new normal. Can you afford some help, like a babysitter for your older kid or a Mother's helper, or can you ask your MIL to stay longer? How about getting help from any support network you have available to you, like friends or church? That can really help you through the roughest parts of having a new baby.
The other things I think you need are a sling- so that you can hold your newborn (which he obviously needs, and which may keep him quiet longer between nursing sessions) and still move around the house and have your hands free- and also a co-sleeping crib of some sort. I mean, I encourage you to keep trying co-sleeping, because that's usually the easiest way to get mama and baby the most sleep. But if you aren't able to sleep when sharing a sleep surface with your baby, having him in a co-sleeper or bassinet right next to the bed is the next best thing.
When you say you feel like your milk "isn't fully in yet", what do you mean? At five days, either your milk is in or it isn't. If you are producing milk, then your milk is in. If you're not producing milk, and are still seeing only colostrum, then your milk isn't in. Perhaps the issue is quantity? A lot of moms expect engorgement or feelings of fullness, but those are not necessary aspects of a successful breastfeeding experience. Many second-time moms notice less engorgement the second time around, particularly if the baby is a good nurser.
Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"