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Thread: very sad about formula

  1. #11
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Posts
    466

    Default Re: very sad about formula

    I wanted to send you some s. Just the fact that you feel this way already shows that you are a caring and loving mom. Being a nurturing mom is about so much more than breastfeeding, and your LO won't be disadvantaged as long as you give him all the love and care he needs. My mom barely BF'd me (I was born early and stayed in the hospital for jaundice, so I got mostly formula from the start--it was the 70s...), but I don't feel disadvantaged. She's the most loving and generous person I know, we share the most amazing bond to this day, and I've grown up happy and super-healthy. Like, I never even got colds growing up. I'm not saying it's ideal, but we don't choose the cards we're dealt, do we?...

    My two cents on this is... I think it's really, really important for you, for your LO and for the new baby that you have a supportive and stable home. You WILL need your husband's help and emotional support, especially with two pregnancies close together. Marriage means sacrificing and compromising, sometimes... or many times! Hiding something so big from your husband doesn't seem like a good idea, even if he never finds out--the "secret" will always be there. If I were you, I'd try one more time to talk and present objective arguments as to the safety of donor milk, and if he is not convinced I would respect that. You need peace of mind at this time, it's not worth adding more stress one way or the other.

    Wish I could say something more helpful in practical terms... I know it's hard, mama! I'm here rooting for you.

    PS. Can you still pump a little bit extra these days? If so, perhaps you could store some?
    Last edited by @llli*kmanih; October 13th, 2011 at 08:17 AM.
    march 2011... the light of my life

    i love my little one

  2. #12
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Posts
    77

    Default Re: very sad about formula

    I'm sorry you are feeling so bad You are a loving mom!!! Don't beat yourself up over having to give your child formula. Luckily there is formula that can help in situations like yours! And congrats on the pregnancy
    Mommy to
    Ava 9.24.08 self weaned at 2.5
    August 8.19.11 still nursing, trying to wean gently
    Abram 9.12.13

  3. #13
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Sunny Arizona
    Posts
    3,171

    Default Re: very sad about formula

    I'm sorry but why does the husband's opinion on this outweigh the mother's? Especially when we all KNOW that formula is inferior? Why is she expected to roll over and give her baby the inferior product because some guy can't wrap his mind around donor milk? Trust me I get marriage is about compromise, but not at the expense of a baby. JM2C.

    OP if you have mothers who are generous and gracious enough to give you their milk, than I think you should give some serious consideration on what is more important, your baby or husband's ego.

    Amy married to my bestfriend since 10/30/04

    Proud SAHM to DS born 2/17/07 and DD born 9/11/08 Both weaned together 11/2011
    Currently milk, peach, peanut and tree nut free. DD has outgrown her wheat, cheese, egg, garlic, and citrus allergies

  4. #14
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Posts
    16

    Default Re: very sad about formula

    Thanks ladies. I am working w/ my local LLLI for suggestions, so we will see. I am not going to do donor milk, as after talking w/ my husband, it doesn't look like something we can agree to.

    I did leak milk very early on in my last pregnancy so I'm hoping my supply problem will improve.

    Thanks again

  5. #15
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Posts
    16

    Default Re: very sad about formula

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*amy.marie View Post
    I'm sorry but why does the husband's opinion on this outweigh the mother's? Especially when we all KNOW that formula is inferior? Why is she expected to roll over and give her baby the inferior product because some guy can't wrap his mind around donor milk? Trust me I get marriage is about compromise, but not at the expense of a baby. JM2C.

    OP if you have mothers who are generous and gracious enough to give you their milk, than I think you should give some serious consideration on what is more important, your baby or husband's ego.
    I completely see your point. However, we have been married only a year and my 1st pregnancy was high risk. Therefore, our marriage has been very stressful. With baby #2, I know our marriage is going to be a lot of work and I just don't want to ruin my marriage over this. Dh is already highly overwhelmed w/ the situation and it has made things difficult.

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