Happy Mothers Breastfed Babies
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 15

Thread: very sad about formula

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Posts
    16

    Default very sad about formula

    As I posted before..I am preggo..likely 2 mo or so and I have a 4 mo old.

    My supply has tanked. Lo is constantly nursing and is getting enough wet and poopy diapers if I let lo nurse non stop. However while I'm working is a huge problem. I'm having very little success pumping.

    I'm working w my local llli and still trying to find solutions.

    It appears as though formula is my only choice.

    My local llli group leader and I discussed donor milk from group members. I discussed the idea w dh and he is not having it. I considered doing it anyway but I know w all the added stress w the pregnancy...I really cannot do something that could cause such a rift between my dh and I.

    The thought of formula makes me feel horrible. I feel like lo is really losing out because of the pregnancy and I'm frustrated I put myself in this situation.

    I of course love my growing baby as well and want my pregnancy to be healthy. I just feel horrible that lo is going to be disadvantaged because of it.

    We tried formula and lo wouldn't even take an ounce and had a fit! Lo was up all night w a grumpling belly. I feel terrible!

    I'm hopeful I can find other moms who made a situation like this work. Thank you!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Posts
    4,894

    Default Re: very sad about formula

    I can understand not wanting problems in your marriage but you know in your heart that breastmilk is far superior. What is your husbands issue? Would presenting him with research help? I have no advice on formula, I'm sorry. My first choice would be donor milk.
    If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun. - Katharine Hepburn

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Posts
    16

    Default Re: very sad about formula

    He just finds it gross. He works away a lot so I suppose he wouldn't even really know if I did do it and just acted as if I pumped enough but I had to go behind his back about it. I am positive it is something he would have a fit about and wouldn't be agreeable to no matter what I show him.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Posts
    381

    Default Re: very sad about formula

    Momma just wanted to say that you are and will do the best that you can do for your baby. If that means formula, you will still be giving your baby love and nurturing.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    21,152

    Default Re: very sad about formula

    Would your DH be more open to donor milk if it came from an official milk bank? http://www.hmbana.org/

    I also can understand you not wanting to cause trouble in your marriage, and if you and your DH decide that donor milk is not an option, please don't feel bad about using some formula, a lot of formula, or even all formula. Try different brands, and see if there's one your baby likes better, or one that causes less tummy grumbling.

    You said that you want your pregnancy to be healthy. Are you concerned that nursing during pregnancy will be deleterious to your health or the new baby's health? Because it won't. Your body protects the fetus first and your health second. Your milk supply runs a distant third.
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Posts
    4,894

    Default Re: very sad about formula

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*june2011ftm View Post
    He just finds it gross. He works away a lot so I suppose he wouldn't even really know if I did do it and just acted as if I pumped enough but I had to go behind his back about it. I am positive it is something he would have a fit about and wouldn't be agreeable to no matter what I show him.
    Okay, I don't want to start a debate or anything and I can appreciate your situation as far as bumping heads with your husband, but I honestly don't get that train of thought. I offered a friend my milk when her 1 year old stopped consuming all liquids. She thought it was gross too. How is milk from another human being more gross than powdered cows milk byproducts? Cows are vile creatures and it's no secret how unkempt they are in this country. They wade in their own excrement while their udders (yanno, where the milk comes from) dangle mere inches from it. Don't get me wrong, I eat cow and dairy products (when my sons belly says I can) but I'm also not saying milk from another mother, caring enough to share her liquid gold with me, is gross. Maybe show your husband all the recalls of formula. How glass particles have been found in it. How just last year there were bugs in formula and there have even been cases of salmonella. I'm pretty sure the worst thing you will find in donor milk is alcohol. But I don't know for sure. I haven't read any cases of recalled breastmilk.

    I'm sorry you are going through this. Hopefully it all works out.
    If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun. - Katharine Hepburn

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Posts
    16

    Default Re: very sad about formula

    I see nothing wrong w/ donor milk and may just use it and not tell him. I am just nervous about doing it as our marriage has been a tough ride. Trying to talk w/ him about it will just cause arguments, I'm sure of that.

    Also, I was a high risk pregnancy because of an imcomptent cervix so I'm not sure what my dr. will say. She is pretty laid back so if it possible I am sure she will be supportive. However, I was on hospital bedrest and home bedrest during my last pregnancy. The dr. thinks the use of progesterone shots may be enough this time (at least that is what she said before if I were to get pregnant again). I'm not sure if the shots will interfere w/ bf'ing even more.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    10,440

    Default Re: very sad about formula

    If you need formula, that is what it is for. For when a mother cannot feed her child. And if you can't pump enough, and your DH does not like donor milk, then you use it, IF your baby will take it. Don't destroy your marriage or tear yourself up over this
    Susan
    Mama to my all-natural boys: Ian, 9-4-04, 11.5 lbs; Colton, 11-7-06, 9 lbs, in the water; Logan, 12-8-08, 9 lbs; Gavin, 1-18-11, 9 lbs; and an angel 1-15-06
    18+ months and for Gavin, born with an incomplete cleft lip and incomplete posterior cleft palate
    Sealed for time and eternity, 7-7-93
    Always babywearing, cosleeping and cloth diapering. Living with oppositional defiant disorder and ADHD. Ask me about cloth diapering and sewing your own diapers!

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Posts
    4,894

    Default Re: very sad about formula

    I by no means want to make you feel bad at all. And I get not wanting to upset your marriage. But it is a valid question. If not for your husband but for anyone. Why is formula always the go to? I don't understand the disgust for donor milk but no second thought of formula. And I fear "because everyone does it" is the answer. And that's never good enough for me.

    Have you spoken to your doctor yet? With your history and your pregnancies being so close together, they may not want you nursing. But also keep in mind each pregnancy is different. I went into early labor with my daughter and was on hospitalized bed rest. With some extra caution and modified activity my son went full term with fewer complications.
    If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun. - Katharine Hepburn

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Posts
    56

    Default Re: very sad about formula

    My little one is also 4 months and I would feel similar to you if I was in your situation. I would feeling I was cheating my baby out of my precious milk. But some breast milk is better than no milk. I would first stop stressing because that is only going to make things worse. Just give your baby everything you can produce and supplement with formula or donor milk to fill in the gaps. Even if you can just provide morning and night feedings, that is better than nothing and you still get that bonding time with your baby. Could you rent a hospital grade pump to help you maintain your current supply?

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •