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Thread: Worried about soon-to-be change

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Hawaii- Army

    Question Worried about soon-to-be change

    I am an army wife who is currently 32weeks preggo and My hubby has been deployed since last April and won't return until next April. (this is his third and final tour). I have always wanted to breastfeed and am excited to get started. I was wondering if anyone could tell me how life changes with a new baby when your a "single parent" (which i will be for about the first 5 months). Is there anything I should have on hand to make it easier? I don't have a lot of support out here due to a lot of friends leaving back to the mainland during the deployment and family is all in another state. My mom passed in feb 2011 and my MIL didnt breastfeed. Also the few friends I do have out here didn't breastfeed cause it was "too hard" so I'm kind of in uncharted territory here I am due in Late November and am planning an all natural birth at a hospital based birthing center (there are no free-standing ones on the island) and I just really want to do this right. I want to give my son and I the best possible start especially since he is our miracle baby. Anyways, any help would be greatly appreciated.
    Thank you
    Due 11/25/2011
    Army Wife

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    New York

    Default Re: Worried about soon-to-be change

    Welcome lolababy!
    La leche league is a great support network! there are LLLLeaders in Hawaii and they can be your hands on real life network of support.
    Although my situation was different than yours, I also had no one in my immediate vicinity that breastfed, if it wasn't for my local LLL Leader and group meetings I would have had to struggle alone.
    You are smart to head into the birthing knowing that a drug free, intervention free labour and delivery is desirable, possible and doable!
    Started my family in 1986
    Finally done in 2001

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2008

    Default Re: Worried about soon-to-be change

    Welcome! I'm not a single parent but there are some single mommy's on here so hopefully others will chime in. Coming here is definitely a good start at developing support. Look into local LLL groups, it's good to have like-minded friends. You can also ask at the birth centre if they know of groups.

    As for what to have on hand... well that's the beauty of breastfeeding! You already have what you need on hand. You can ask your friends and family to help you out with food. Have meels brought over, pre-frozen etc. Eating well and drinking lots of water is important and you don't want to be spending all kinds of energy cooking. Have good snacks on hand too. Nuts, trail mix, fruits. Stuff you can grab and pick at while you nurse.

    Sounds like you are off to a good start! Stick around and ask any questions you have!
    Formerly: baby-blue-eyes

    Canadian Mum to Naomi Born 03/17/08 and has a dairy allergy we are hoping she will outgrow. Nursed for 1 year
    And Gavin Born 01/13/10. 22 months, still nursing and already determined to find every possible way of giving me a heart attack with his dare devilishness

  4. #4
    Join Date
    May 2009

    Default Re: Worried about soon-to-be change

    I'm not a single mom, but thought I'd chime in anyway. I agree with PP's. First, I'd suggest finding your local LLL now and go to a couple of meetings before LO comes (if there's time). And after LO's born, keep going! It's a great support network of moms and leaders (who are moms). You'll have someone to talk to once a month and a LLL you can call anytime.
    Also, before LO comes, I'd second the stocking up on frozen food. If there's not a support network, go to the store and get some stuff to freeze. THat was a lifesaver for me (DH can not cook!).

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Mar 2006

    Default Re: Worried about soon-to-be change

    Make some freezer meals now that will be easy to pull out. My SIL, who had her last baby (of 6) in HI while her DH was in Iraq, said this was a lifesaver. She or one of the older children could simply pull out a freezer meal and pop it in the oven and let it cook while she fed the baby.

    Otherwise, get a sling so you can move around and get things done but give baby what baby will want and need -- YOU.

    Set up a basket of things you can tote around to keep you occupied while nursing (iPod or iPad, phone, tissues, snack, water bottles, books, TV remote, that sort of thing).

    Look up NOW how to nurse laying down. Then, when you have the baby, ask the midwife to help you with side laying nursing. Since you won't have help -- like handing baby off after feeding for Daddy to rock back to sleep -- you need to make sure you can maximize your rest, and side laying nursing is the easiest way to do this. Don't bother with a crib...that's just more work for you. Cosleeping is fine.

    Keep diapers handy. Don't make yourself schelpp back to the bedroom or wherever to change baby's diaper. Make it easy so you don't have to work too hard.

    IMHO, it might be easier to be a single parent with one baby You won't have to worry about anybody other than you and baby! I figured out -- finally, after my second baby -- to NOT rely on my DH for helping me to care for baby. I figured out it works a lot better for me to handle all newborn baby care and he can handle the older kids. If I had it to do over again with my first baby, I'd simply go to bed, nurse baby and sleep for a few weeks, eating simple meals, letting DH go to work instead of sitting on the couch.

    Look up any local LLL groups.

    ETA: hit send too soon. Order some Earth Mama Angel Baby mama care products, like their bottom balm and Happy Mama spray, because they will help you feel good postpartum. Make some condom ice packs to use at home (we have a thread on useful stuff for BC births if you look it up in the birth forum) and be ready to take care of yourself that way too to make your life easier. You don't want to be running to the store for ibuprofen and Colace with a 12 hour old baby.
    Last edited by @llli*aprilsmagic; October 4th, 2011 at 07:49 AM.
    Mama to my all-natural boys: Ian, 9-4-04, 11.5 lbs; Colton, 11-7-06, 9 lbs, in the water; Logan, 12-8-08, 9 lbs; Gavin, 1-18-11, 9 lbs; and an angel 1-15-06
    18+ months and for Gavin, born with an incomplete cleft lip and incomplete posterior cleft palate
    Sealed for time and eternity, 7-7-93
    Always babywearing, cosleeping and cloth diapering. Living with oppositional defiant disorder and ADHD. Ask me about cloth diapering and sewing your own diapers!

  6. #6
    Join Date
    May 2006

    Default Re: Worried about soon-to-be change

    Frozen meals.

    Numbers for your local IBCLC (International Board Certified Lactation Consultant) and local LLL leader- in case you run into trouble.

    Supportive pediatrician.

    Know where to get a good pump- you probably won't need one, but if you do, you should know where to get one.

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