BTDT and I'm not sure it's going to get easier (until middle school, maybe. I was a brat in MS, sure my folks were glad to foist me on someone else for 8 hours a day!).
I wonder how DD will know, really know, that I am momma, and the one she can count on, when she is with DCP so much (and the center daycare has one caregiver dedicated to each baby, so she's very much attached to her main lady). One day, just recently, when I was picking her up from DCP i was holding her and she "asked" to go to DCP instead
But I make sure that the time I spend with her, I am fully with her as much as possible - I try to save chores for naptime or nighttime, so that I can totally focus on her. Besides, the extra dirt is good for her immune system, right? I agree with PP, I loove to cook but there are meals that I know I won't really be able to make for several years because they are time consuming and they are not the priority for my time right now. We're eating a lot of pasta these days!
DCP makes a point to NOT tell parents when babes hit a milestone, which I appreciate. When she's with DH, which is quite frequently, I get regular text and photo updates - god bless smartphones! I take comfort in the fact that she clearly LOVES her DCP, loves playing with "her friends at school" and adores DH. So I never feel like I'm abandoning her... I'm just sad for me!
My advice: loosen up on the housekeeping, order dinner in a bit more, and don't worry about "not getting anything done." Helping your baby develop is your job right now!