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Thread: question for working mama's

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Location
    Boring ole Michigan
    Posts
    205

    Default question for working mama's

    Im at work right now and DH just text me and said DS just rolled over from chest to back for the 1st time!

    I am happy but at the same time I am sad because I missed it. And now I keep thinking about all the other "firsts" I am going to miss because I am here at stupid work..

    I know work is necessary but I miss DS so much and I feel like I am missing out! This is our first baby and I feel so out of the loop. When I go home- I have the house to clean and laundry and grocery shopping and everything except being able to enjoy my baby.

    How do you other working mama's deal with being away from your LO and missing thier "firsts" and such?
    July 27 2011

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Location
    Southern NM
    Posts
    712

    Default Re: question for working mama's

    It is hard--particularly the first year when they change so much. One thing I would suggest is trying to carve out some time when you get home for just you and the baby--don't feel guilty about not getting things done for whatever time you take with LO.

    The truth is that even when you are home you can miss things. My in-Laws were visiting when DS2 started rolling over and he only seemed to do it when my MIL was watching him and I was in the other room. I finally accused her (not seriously, of course) of rolling him over herself.
    I am Erin--happily married to the nerd of my dreams for 15 years
    High School Science Teacher
    Mother to: Thing 1 9/23/01, bf 15 mo, diagnosed with stage 4 neuroblastoma 1/29/02, officially cancer free for ten years in August 2012
    Thing 2 6/6/05, bf 12 mo, obsessed with dynamite
    Glowworm 2/18/11, bf 15 months and counting

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Posts
    1,293

    Default Re: question for working mama's

    it sucks missing out on those moments. pp has a very good point that we can miss them even when we arent at work.

    i feel the same way about stupid work i just want to be with my baby

    i make a point of just nursing and hanging out with my lo when i get home. on a good day i have planned ahead what i was going to do for dinner. all the meals i plan are super fast. there are lots of foods i used to eat that i just dont anymore. one day i will, just not now. if i didnt plan ahead (which happens fairly often) i eat something fast like eggs, pb & j, whatever. i would rather spend time with the baby.

    once he is asleep i do what i need to for the next day. i also let a lot more go now. asking for help from dh is also important.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Location
    Boring ole Michigan
    Posts
    205

    Default Re: question for working mama's

    Thanks guys It is nice to know I am not alone.

    I try to spend time with him as much as I can. At night we co-sleep so I get those night cuddles and of course BF is nice bonding time. I keep trying to tell myself that the time away I spend from him the more I cherish the times we are together. I think that is somewhat true because it makes me not mind at all to wake up 3 times a night to feed him even though I am super tired.
    July 27 2011

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Location
    Virginia
    Posts
    361

    Default Re: question for working mama's

    oh I am RIGHT there with you I had some days that I just wanted to cry because I missed things. Im with PP... carve out time.. you won't remember in 5-10-15 yrs that you left the dishes undone, or the laundry sitting, but you WILL remember the time you didn't get to spend with your LO. They need it, and you need it. It's your right as a momma to get to enjoy the good times with your little ones, as well as the work!!! Big hugs to you... I am at work right now as well.. and have gotten several messages/pics/texts about things I wanted to be there to see.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Posts
    126

    Default Re: question for working mama's

    I totally understand, sometimes I just want to cry! One thing is to set aside some 'baby time'. With my older DD, I took a day off a month for LLL Meetings. We'd go to the meetings and stop for lunch (when she was a little older). I've had a hard time doing that with this one because I keep running low on leave!

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Location
    Kent, OH
    Posts
    259

    Default Re: question for working mama's

    I ask DH to send picture of DD to my cell phone on the days that he watches her, and I do as little as possible while she's awake, and try to get cleaning, laundry, etc. done while she's sleeping. Also, I video record key moments that I'm privvy to and re-watch them frequently.
    Full time working mama to a precious
    Due date was 05/02/2011 - born 04/04/2011 at 36 weeks exactly.
    and 14 months and still going strong

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Location
    Maryland
    Posts
    524

    Default Re: question for working mama's

    I totally understand too!

    I actually asked my DCP not to tell me when DS does stuff for the first time. He's going to do it at home with me anyways, and I would rather pretend that the first time happens with me (and not with them). That has helped me a lot.
    ~ Megan

    Mommy to Alex (born 2/27/11) and Katie (born 3/31/14)

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Posts
    90

    Default Re: question for working mama's

    I know exactly how you feel!! I was SO jealous of my babysitter for my DD. She would be SO excited everyday telling me all the new things she did. I wish she would have just kept it to herself, so that I could see it and think it was the first.

    I agree with others! Don't worry so much about the other stuff. It will still be waiting for you...we all know this. :P Does your DH watch him? It was easier the 2nd time because Grandma was watching DS (maybe it was also easier because it was the 2nd time). I did tell her that I didn't want to know all of his 1st. So...maybe she didn't tell me all of them. Of course there were times that she said he did something new, but I want to see if you can figure it out. Oye...same point. lol

    If you could get your DH to help with more of the housework, so you could spend more time with the baby when you get home that would help. Good luck. lol It is VERY tough. Especially in the beginning. The only thing that really helped me (a tiny bit) was when I counted out the number of hours my kids were asleep while I was gone.
    Last edited by @llli*LLLKaren; October 29th, 2011 at 12:15 PM. Reason: removed link
    Jennifer (30) DH (38)
    DD 10/9/07 Abigail for 15 months and survived 6mos of at work.
    DS Ethan 5/14/10 for almost 15mos and at school(teacher) and entire school year...10 months.
    Taking a break from until my next baby...TBA.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Posts
    418

    Default Re: question for working mama's

    I am feeling the same way. It sucks. I told DS daycare provider that I did not want to know when he did something new. I knew that I would be fooling my self but I want to think that I see it first.
    I am Klisti, I married my best friend Kris two years ago.

    The love of my life, Wyatt 8-28-11 AKA the little dude

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