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Thread: borrowing trouble?!?!!?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
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    47

    Default borrowing trouble?!?!!?

    I'm not used to this board because my DS is 8.5 months old however I'm trying not to FREAK out by this issue. My husband [ bless his heart ] is trying to plan a 5-7 night cruise for just us when my son is about 13/14 months old. I am literally having anxiety every time I think about this. My son has been strictly BF and just started to eat solids [ scraps from our plate every now and then to practice but not every day or even every week ] and still eats every 2 hours [ even over night! ]. I don't see how this is even going to be possible. How much could his nursing change by then? I do pump while I'm at work 4 days of the week [ 10 hour shifts ] but I can't imagine leaving enough for even over night! I'm trying to think of this as a romantic gesture and not torture! Will he even be eating this much at 13/14 months old? Will he still be eating every 2 hours at night? EEK!!
    Mom to Raven [3/24/06] & Logan [ 1/10/11 ] [ while working ] and going strong

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Location
    Missouri
    Posts
    112

    Default Re: borrowing trouble?!?!!?

    This is a very personal question. I know many women who leave the children for days to go on vacation. I myself just could not do it. Recently my mom wanted me to run a half marathon in another state and I was anxious my son is older and usually only nursed once or twice a day but I don't feel either one of us is ready to be done. I have to leave my son for work also but to not see him for more than 2 days I think would be too much for both him and me. He is probalby almost ready for something like this but I prefer family vacations. My husband and I have left the kids at my mothers for the night and gone to a bed and breakfast. It's different for every one but at 13 months my son was still nursing very freqeuntly and it was still his main source of nutrition. Over his second year he definitely weaned alot but it was gradual. I tell my husband all the time when our kids are grown there will be lots of time for romantic get aways or even when there all older. I know we have though of a Disney Cruise where they have child care available so you could have some alone time but not be seperated form you LO. At 13 months my son was only waking once or twice a night but like I said its different for every one I know some toddlers still nurse frequently at night alot of it has to do with what your goals are and what limits you set.
    Did this for 9months with Kailey and Hailey
    who are now 8.

    weaned Dane somewhere around 3.5 no longer he likes to sleep with his sisters He's now 5

    Now I am , , My baby Cruz who is almost 6 months and my last baby

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Location
    TX
    Posts
    2,197

    Default Re: borrowing trouble?!?!!?

    Oh, mama. That's a really romantic gesture. But. They are still really babies at just over a year, and that's a SUPER long time for your son to be without both his parents! His nursing will possibly be different, but probably not very different. But I would think that the bigger issue would not be his nursing, but his parenting and the distance between you all if he needs you (or you need him). The same as it would be for a strictly bottle fed baby.
    Teal

    25 May 96 and 14 January 08 and 27 February 2012

  4. #4
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    21,107

    Default Re: borrowing trouble?!?!!?

    I think that if you are feeling extreme anxiety over the idea leaving your baby, it's for a good reason. Not all mom-baby pairs are ready for a days-long separation at a given point in time. I know there's no way I could have left either of my kids for that long at that age, no matter how romantic the gesture in question was supposed to be. They were both too bonded to me and to my husband, and they definitely were not consuming sufficient solids at that point to make up for breastmilk in their diets. Maybe that's not the reassuring answer you're looking for...
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Posts
    47

    Default Re: borrowing trouble?!?!!?

    That's the GUT FEELING answer I already had! We just got back from a cruise as a family and we had a great time but I think he's eager to do some things just us and not have to "worry" about the kids [ though, we'd both always worry ] but I just can't imagine myself away from him PERIOD- especially the thought of going EVEN ONE DAY without nursing him. It kills my soul to be quite honest with you [ as in... I can't even imagine EVER not nursing him...odd? ]
    Mom to Raven [3/24/06] & Logan [ 1/10/11 ] [ while working ] and going strong

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Posts
    47

    Default Re: borrowing trouble?!?!!?

    Now that I'm thinking of it...maybe I can convince him there will be a slight difference from going away with a 7 month old and going away with a 13/14 month old
    Mom to Raven [3/24/06] & Logan [ 1/10/11 ] [ while working ] and going strong

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Location
    TX
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    Default Re: borrowing trouble?!?!!?

    Not odd at all. We grow as our babies grow.
    Teal

    25 May 96 and 14 January 08 and 27 February 2012

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Posts
    652

    Default Re: borrowing trouble?!?!!?

    Personally, I know that I would be too stressed to enjoy the vacation at all. And if you are already having anxiety about it now, there is probably your answer! We didn't leave ds overnight until he was fully weaned (he was 22 months), and even then we were only gone for not quite 24 hrs, I missed him the whole time. The next time we may leave him overnight is when the new baby is born.

    That is really sweet of your husband, but maybe you could wait until baby is older?
    Ds 9/09 nursed for 20 months

    Dd 12/11 nursing a toddler again

  9. #9
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    21,107

    Default Re: borrowing trouble?!?!!?

    I think it's important for parents to take baby steps when it comes to separating from baby. Your first overnight away from baby could be a romantic trip to a hotel down the road, for one night. If that goes well, try 2 nights further away. If that goes well, start planning the cruise.
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    Ontario, Canada
    Posts
    2,476

    Default Re: borrowing trouble?!?!!?

    Considering DD1 turns 3 this Sunday and we've only ever been away from her for one night (to give birth to DD2), I couldn't see this happening. DH was sure to bring her to the hospital every day until we came home (4 days). I still missed her terribly, even though I knew she was with DH and well cared for. Even though I was in labor, I was NOT HAPPY that my baby was away at my own sisters.

    Personally, I would tell DH that it was very sweet, but that we weren't ready to be apart. I'd rather have a family vacation.

    It's not to say that there's anything wrong with those who have / do go away when their babes are little, it really is personal comfort levels that count.
    Mommy to our DD1 early bird (34 weeks, 2 days, 7lbs, 14oz)! Oct. 2nd, 2008 Emergency C-Section, Frank Breech, HEALTHY Girl!
    Weaned @ 17 months
    Our DD2 early bird (37 weeks, 3 days, 7lbs, 12oz) Aug. 10th, 2010 Our Successful VBAC, growing like a bad weed!
    Weaned @ 15 months
    Our DD3 early bird (37 weeks, 3 days, 7lbs, 6oz) Feb. 16th, 2012 Our 2nd VBAC and lightening speedy birth!

    Loving being a Mom of 3, 40 months apart!!
    and

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