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Thread: How to establish rules about nursing?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Posts
    45

    Default How to establish rules about nursing?

    Background: I have a 22 month old. She was nursing on demand a lot and then a couple of months ago she started an all day school program. She has made the adjustment well and seems to be fine with nursing just morning and night on school days. She nurses on demand on the weekends. She still tends to nurse more than she eats. Often, if it isn't one of her favorite foods (a pretty limited list of yogurt, bananas, and crackers/bread) she will refuse to eat and ask to nurse.

    Q: So now I am trying to establish some limits on nursing, and I'm trying to figure out if I'm going about it the right way or just setting myself up for trouble. She has been tantruming a lot lately. So tonight, I told her, "when you eat some spaghetti, then we can nurse." She brought me the bobby, and cried, and I just calmly repeated that sentence. She had a fit for about 10 minutes and now she seems to be trying to wait me out. Am I going to turn her off even more foods by doing this? Or do you think this is an appropriate way of asking?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Location
    Missouri
    Posts
    112

    Default Re: How to establish rules about nursing

    Great question. My son is three and we have the same problem. He doesn't want to eat what we have for dinner and the other night my husband told him fine if you don't eat what we eat you don't get anything else not even boobee. I don't know if these statements are good because in my son's case they become idle threats. We would wait us out all night doesn't care about being in timeout or being punished if he says he's not going to eat there's no way to make him try it. I have thought that maybe allowing him to help me prepare the meals are incorporating foods he does like will maybe help because punishing, threats, bribes, none of these work for him. Maybe with your daughter being youngerit might work better, when my son was that age he still did breastfeed a lot he's always been so big that I didn't really have to worry about him eating much I figured he'd let me know when he was hungry and I would pretty much nurse on demand . Now I just don't have much milk anything more than just nursing in the morning seems to be for comfort because there isn't much milk there but I do love the immunological benefits my son never gets sick. I think this is a very common problem even for children who aren't still nursing I know both my nieces at that age were horrible eaters and would rather just drink a bottle of whole milk.
    Did this for 9months with Kailey and Hailey
    who are now 8.

    weaned Dane somewhere around 3.5 no longer he likes to sleep with his sisters He's now 5

    Now I am , , My baby Cruz who is almost 6 months and my last baby

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Posts
    63

    Default Re: How to establish rules about nursing

    My daughter (23 months) does the same thing. If she wants to nurse, she won't eat, end of story! I make her sit at the table while I eat, hoping she will at least eat a few bites. After I finish I take her food into the living room so she will hopefully eat some of it in between playing. Most of the time she just wants to nurse FIRST and then eat. Maybe try try nursing and then going back to the meal?
    Ayna ~ born 10/22/09
    Still and despite the controversy of society!

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Location
    TX
    Posts
    2,197

    Default Re: How to establish rules about nursing

    When I was ready to start setting limits and rules about nursing, I focused more on when and where we nursed, so that it was never a choice between solids or nursies. Mealtime was for meals, and whether my son ate much or at all was up to him. And nursies time was for nursies, and whether he nursed much or at all was up to him, regardless of what he ate at the last meal. I guess what I'm saying is that I moved away from on-demand nursing first, and then his meals sorted themselves out by themselves. While I was nursing on demand, I treated it as a separate activity from solids.
    Teal

    25 May 96 and 14 January 08 and 27 February 2012

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Location
    Northern Cal.
    Posts
    4,984

    Default Re: How to establish rules about nursing

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*duckpond View Post
    When I was ready to start setting limits and rules about nursing, I focused more on when and where we nursed, so that it was never a choice between solids or nursies. Mealtime was for meals, and whether my son ate much or at all was up to him. And nursies time was for nursies, and whether he nursed much or at all was up to him, regardless of what he ate at the last meal. I guess what I'm saying is that I moved away from on-demand nursing first, and then his meals sorted themselves out by themselves. While I was nursing on demand, I treated it as a separate activity from solids.
    I always let Joe eat what he wanted as far as solids, which is still sometimes nothing! I didn't make him special meals or cave to demands to cookies, but I also didn't force him to eat his dinner. Now he never nurses during the day at all, but he still sometimes hardly eats anything. This is normal toddler behavior, as far as I can tell. The limits I set on nursing were more on behavior (no wiggling, yanking, pinching, etc.) and delayed gratification ("we'll nurse when mama is done doing the dishes, honey") because I never saw nursing and eating solids as a conflict. As far as I was concerned, if my baby would rather nurse than eat solids, that was fine, but that usually happened only when he was sick. The rest of the time he might not eat a lot, but he would eat.


    You can call me JoMo!

    Mom to baby boy Joe, born 5/4/09 and breastfed for more than two and a half years, and baby girl Maggie, born 7/9/12.

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