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Thread: We have a biter

  1. #11
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
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    COUGARTOWN Baby! From here on in!
    Posts
    17,404

    Default Re: We have a biter

    Continual biting is very hard to deal with. Because this is an emotionally INTIMATE relationship and ....biting causes trust issue in this very intimate relationship.

    Way too lazy for formula

  2. #12
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Location
    Rural Kansas
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    42

    Default Re: We have a biter

    I did the flicking too, as that was the only thing that worked for us. Tried the sitting down and walking away, that did nothing but royally p*ss him off. Only took about 5-6 times of flicking his cheek (not hard - but enough to get my point across) to break that. He tries occasionally when he has a tooth coming in - but gives himself away by looking at me first, I tell him no and he stops. Now if I could get him to stop digging in my armpit - that is more annoying than anything!

  3. #13
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Posts
    278

    Default Re: We have a biter

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*djs.mom View Post
    Continual biting is very hard to deal with. Because this is an emotionally INTIMATE relationship and ....biting causes trust issue in this very intimate relationship.
    I understand this to a point. Biting is physically and emotionally painful, certainly. But I feel like the implication is that, for the BABY, there is intent. Yes, it's a very intimate relationship, but the baby doesn't have the necessary cognitive skills to make the leap to breaking trust. He really is playing, or teething or having fun in his little mind.

    My point is, yes it's important to make it clear that biting is not ok. But I couldn't flick my baby for unintentionally hurting me. And my baby finds ANY reaction amusing. So if I were to go about solving the problem by flicking him, I would have to inflict pain on him. And I'm not willing to go there. So I end the session. Biting=no milk gets across real fast.
    Mama to five beautiful kids- 9, 8, 3, 2 and currently nursing our new baby girl born 1/20/2013


    "It should not be necessary to tell reasonably intelligent mammals to suckle and not dismember their neonates." ~Susan Blustein

  4. #14
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
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    COUGARTOWN Baby! From here on in!
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    Default Re: We have a biter

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*melissawoods View Post
    I understand this to a point. Biting is physically and emotionally painful, certainly. But I feel like the implication is that, for the BABY, there is intent. Yes, it's a very intimate relationship, but the baby doesn't have the necessary cognitive skills to make the leap to breaking trust. He really is playing, or teething or having fun in his little mind.

    My point is, yes it's important to make it clear that biting is not ok. But I couldn't flick my baby for unintentionally hurting me. And my baby finds ANY reaction amusing. So if I were to go about solving the problem by flicking him, I would have to inflict pain on him. And I'm not willing to go there. So I end the session. Biting=no milk gets across real fast.
    I personally don't think it matter whether or not there is intent. Babies do all sort of things we don't want them to do without intent. And we begin working to set up boundaries with them long before they understand WHY. When they Hit, pull hair, Try to get to electrical sockets, take toys ect. This specific thing-biting causes trust issues in Dyads. And it's hard to deal with. However you choose to work it out it is personal. I am not sure why your think a baby could understand Biting=No milk because you put him down. But that this person who I have this deep attachment to isn't able to get that being Flicked or Tapped while in my arms when I am visibly upset means STOP. I didn't have to hurt my son to get my point across. And MY child actually had a much stronger reaction to being set on the floor. It did not matter to me WHY my child was biting me. Only that he understood that it was NOT OK. Same thing I thought when he would hit or pull hair. And he did get it. I breastfed my child for 4.5 years. So any and all nursing issues we had, we worked through. But I have seen MANY women here, get VERY damaged by biting and I have seen women quit or decide to wean as a result of it. So it's a serious issue and there is more than one acceptable way to work through it.

    Way too lazy for formula

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