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Thread: Rough day

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Aug 2011

    Default Rough day

    Does this ever get faster or easier? DS is 6 weeks and I feel like I've done nothing but sit on a couch! He's constantly at the breast, which is driving me nuts. He doesn't stay satisfied for more than 10 or 15 minutes, if that. It's making me wonder if this is working or if I just need to give it up. DD is showing her frustration in temper tantrums and constant whining (new for her, though she is about that age ... yikes!).
    I feel like I've got very little support, too. I get nothing but downer comments from my mother: "You're STILL feeding him?! Just give him a bottle and take a break! It worked for your daughter." or "He's hungry again?! Are you sure he's getting enough?" or my favorite "It's not a competition, you know. They don't give medals for making a martyr out of yourself." Thanks for the confidence boost.
    Meanwhile, my garden has dried up, no fruits or veggies this year. My house looks like it's been through a natural disaster: toys are everywhere, dishes piled in the sink, and the floors haven't been vacuumed in weeks. DH is vocally supportive, but between work and school he's out of energy. I hardly ever see him.
    I'm sorry this is so long. Really need to vent. Both kids are crying and I want to join them. I'm starting to hate this.
    Mamma to: DD (02.2010) and DS (08.2011)
    We cloth diaper and are new to baby-wearing.
    Learning to trust my instincts and turn off my scientifically-trained brain!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Sep 2011

    Default Re: Rough day

    Awwww, lots of hugs to you! You are doing a great thing for your son! I am feeling the same way but I keep reminding myself that this is temporary. I EBF my daughter and it does get better! I think it was at the three month mark that I started to feel better. Try wearing your baby, then you can bfeed her while you move around. If my son is just comfort sucking, I will put him in the bjorn and wear him around the house. Your housework will always be there but your son will only be small for so long!
    Mommy to
    Ava 9.24.08 self weaned at 2.5
    August 8.19.11 still nursing, trying to wean gently
    Abram 9.12.13

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Apr 2011

    Default Re: Rough day


    i miss those days now! it will get easier, babies in general are exhausting. the baby will only be in this stage for a little while, all the rest can wait. i do know its harder when you have another one, definitely get a carrier, you wont regret it!

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Ontario, Canada

    Default Re: Rough day

    I'll sound like a broken record for those who have seen me say this before, but it really helped me. "Know your audience." If you don't think your Mother is going to be supportive of what you're trying to do, don't look to her for comfort or an understanding ear. Go to her for things you know she'll be supportive of. If you don't have someone in your life who is supportive of breast feeding? Come here. We'll cheer you on. But knowing that - knowing who to go to to hear what I needed to hear, really, REALLY helped me get through the tough days.

    Wearing your baby sounds like great advice. DD1 was 22 months when DD2 was born. When Babe #3 arrives, DD1 will be 39 months and DD2 will be 17 months. It's okay to have limits. It's okay to acknowledge them. Heck, it's okay to look at your sleepily nursing baby and say "Doing this is enough." It will get better. I found 8 weeks with both of my girls to be when I emerged from the fog.
    Mommy to our DD1 early bird (34 weeks, 2 days, 7lbs, 14oz)! Oct. 2nd, 2008 Emergency C-Section, Frank Breech, HEALTHY Girl!
    Weaned @ 17 months
    Our DD2 early bird (37 weeks, 3 days, 7lbs, 12oz) Aug. 10th, 2010 Our Successful VBAC, growing like a bad weed!
    Weaned @ 15 months
    Our DD3 early bird (37 weeks, 3 days, 7lbs, 6oz) Feb. 16th, 2012 Our 2nd VBAC and lightening speedy birth!

    Loving being a Mom of 3, 40 months apart!!

  5. #5
    Join Date
    May 2006

    Default Re: Rough day

    You are doing such a great job!

    The six week growth spurt is totally the age when you are pinned to the couch. And by 6 weeks postpartum everything around you has gone to heck in a handbasket- whatever cleaning and organization you managed to get done before the baby arrived has evaporated, the excitement of birth has worn off, you other kid(s) want attention, and the sleep deprivation is really starting to wear on you. But it does get better, faster, and easier!

    Nursing a newborn takes a lot of work. You need to help the baby position his head and body, the baby feeds constantly, and feedings tend to take a long time. But those things change with time. Not only do feedings often space out a bit, but the baby gets a lot faster at nursing so that even if he continues to nurse frequently it only takes 10 minutes instead of 20, or 30, or 40. And as the baby gets stronger and develops more physical control, you don't have to work as hard to position him. It's a lot like bottle-feeding, in a way- I am sure that when your first baby was tiny it took a looong time to get her to eat. But by the time she was a few months old she could help hold the bottle herself and probably finished it pretty fast, and was then ready to go and play.

    Don't give up, and don't let anyone get you down. Let your mom know that her comments are hurtful, and suggest that she can help you not by suggesting that you give up and give a bottle, but by occupying your older child with some special grandma-granddaughter time. And if you have a sling and a swing, now is the time to try those two things. One of them might convince your LO to take a good nap here and there!

    It's true: they don't give medals for being a good mom. But they should. And if they did, you'd have one for what you are doing right now.
    Last edited by @llli*mommal; September 20th, 2011 at 06:55 PM.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Aug 2011

    Default Re: Rough day

    Thank you ladies! It was just one of those days. Everything hit hard and all at once for some reason. Thank you, thank you for your words of support and encouragement.
    I haven't asked my mom for breastfeeding advice since the first week or so. She doesn't remember having any trouble with any of it, and only BFed us all until we hit about 3 months and our first tooth cut through. Our views on BFing are quite different. The comments come whenever we visit, or she visits; so at least once a week. I'm a bit of a chicken when it comes to confrontation. I've tried ignoring it, and it usually works. Not today, though. I know she's not trying to be discouraging. She's been very supportive with every other aspect.
    Tried nursing in a pouch sling today. DS hated it! He's not crazy about it in general. Just have to hold on till the weekend when I can get out (hopefully) and get some fabric to make a ring sling. Maybe he'll like that better.
    Thanks again, ladies!
    Last edited by @llli*faeln; September 20th, 2011 at 08:57 PM.
    Mamma to: DD (02.2010) and DS (08.2011)
    We cloth diaper and are new to baby-wearing.
    Learning to trust my instincts and turn off my scientifically-trained brain!

  7. #7

    Default Re: Rough day

    It does get easier and remember that you will get support here. Keep up the good work!

    Truly blessed by God
    Wife to Will
    First Time Mom to C 2/18/11
    Made it 6 Mos. EBF Now enjoying BLS
    My baby is a year old now!

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Mar 2006

    Default Re: Rough day

    A pouch sling does not work well for most newborn nursing. Ring sling is easier.

    I'll tell you this...it's NOT the BFing that is making this hard. I mean it. It's just having two kids, one being a baby. You'd be stuck on the couch feeding via a bottle -- which takes both hands! -- or standing at the sink washing bottles.

    For your DD, make baby's feeding time her special time too. I used to read, play little games, talk, narrate my older boys' games, that sort of thing, while feeding baby.

    And while they don't give out medals, what will be important is how YOU feel about yourself in the future. If you think you might regret quitting, or feel guilty, then don't quit.
    Mama to my all-natural boys: Ian, 9-4-04, 11.5 lbs; Colton, 11-7-06, 9 lbs, in the water; Logan, 12-8-08, 9 lbs; Gavin, 1-18-11, 9 lbs; and an angel 1-15-06
    18+ months and for Gavin, born with an incomplete cleft lip and incomplete posterior cleft palate
    Sealed for time and eternity, 7-7-93
    Always babywearing, cosleeping and cloth diapering. Living with oppositional defiant disorder and ADHD. Ask me about cloth diapering and sewing your own diapers!

  9. #9

    Default Re: Rough day

    Hang in there! My DD was a super slow nurser and a huge comfort nurser. I felt like I never left the couch for 8 weeks! I heard from everyone that things were supposed to get easier at 6 weeks, boy was I disappointed when the 6 week growth spurt hit!

    Baby wearing worked well for us, we used that instead of all the comfort nursing. I hope you have good luck with the ring sling.
    Mom to Nora 1/9/10 and Ian 8/1/11.
    Happily . Not looking forward to again when I return to work!
    Never thought I'd be nursing a toddler and a newborn!

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