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Thread: Do you ever feel this way?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    Texas
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    278

    Default Do you ever feel this way?

    Do you ever feel like the decision you made to breastfeed has caused more problems in your family? I feel like because I am constantly nursing I am ignoring my other 2 kids and my husband. And god I am tired. The sleepless nights have finally caught up with me and I am sooooo tired. Even with a nap today I am so tired. Anyway I just needed to vent.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    I am Kate
    Wife to Jason
    Mom to Aubrey 4/06 queen
    Mom to Nathan 5/08 Relactated for him and he got EBM for a year
    Mom to Jack 8/11

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Location
    Northern Cal.
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    Default Re: Do you ever feel this way?

    Aw. That sounds hard! It's so hard in the first few months. But it's only at that super intense level for a relatively short time, so yes, I would say that the positives outweigh the negatives. But when you're in the middle of it, completely exhausted, it's easy to lose sight of that. But you are doing the right thing for your whole family. A time will come (soon) when it is much easier to multitask and nurse. Have you tried putting the little one in the sling so that you can hold it close and nurse while you do other things? You'll get there.


    You can call me JoMo!

    Mom to baby boy Joe, born 5/4/09 and breastfed for more than two and a half years, and baby girl Maggie, born 7/9/12.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Location
    Ontario, Canada
    Posts
    147

    Default Re: Do you ever feel this way?

    I think the pressures of modern society really make us feel negatively about breastfeeding. You are supposed to be breastfeeding all.the.time. We all do, don't think any other mother on here does anything else. The other kiddos will understand, after all they had their time with you too. I hear you with the sleepless nights, but again that too shall pass.

    Enjoy your LO while you can, soon he will be crawling around, and then walking and you will miss the snuggles while nursing! I agree with PP you are doing the best for your LO.
    Mirkka

    Mama to DD born September 7, 2010, and DS born October 28, 2012 and Wife to DH July 5, 2008

    We love and love

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Posts
    216

    Default Re: Do you ever feel this way?

    I think many people feel that way! I am struggling myself with that...especially, as I was on bed rest for 2.5 months and was unable to do too much with my three year old. And now I am having to tell her to wait or hold on while I am feeding her sister! However, I have tried to use the experience to teach my 3 year old, that in families, we all have to take turns. This may sound silly, but after I feed, I tell the baby, "OK, now it's your sister's turn. I am going to fix her lunch, and when I am done, I'll put you in your swing." I am hoping this makes my eldest feel she is just as important as the baby! Knock on wood, seems to be working so far! Thankfully, my husband is very understanding, but kids seem to have it a lot tougher. Just hang in there...they may understand better than you think, and your time nursing will be over before you know it! Just don't feel alone...we all feel this way at some point!

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Posts
    4,893

    Default Re: Do you ever feel this way?

    Yep. My son is a year old and still nursing 2-3 hours around the clock. He's a major handful, requires a lot of attention and is explosive. I also have 5.5 year old who I feel I have completely neglected as a result. But I don't blame breastfeeding. Even if he was bottle fed he would require just as much attention. If anything, I probably have more time because I'm not stuck makin and washing bottles.
    If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun. - Katharine Hepburn

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Location
    Southern NM
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    712

    Default Re: Do you ever feel this way?

    Also remember that your body is still healing from pregnancy and childbirth, as well as adjusting to feeding your LO. And remember that while the minutes seem really long at this time, the days will actually pass quickly.
    I am Erin--happily married to the nerd of my dreams for 15 years
    High School Science Teacher
    Mother to: Thing 1 9/23/01, bf 15 mo, diagnosed with stage 4 neuroblastoma 1/29/02, officially cancer free for ten years in August 2012
    Thing 2 6/6/05, bf 12 mo, obsessed with dynamite
    Glowworm 2/18/11, bf 15 months and counting

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Posts
    77

    Default Re: Do you ever feel this way?

    Yes! I bf my daughter for over two years and I actually had fleeting thoughts about bottle feeding my newborn so that I could have more time for my gaughter. I have tried to shower her with attention when I am not bfeeding and while I am bfeeding I still interact with her by reading, putting a puzzle together or watchkin a show. I also decided to sleep with my newborn and I have found that I'm less tired. My daughter still sleeps in our bed so for now the newborn and I are sleeping on a couch pullout.

    ETA: nursing right now and typing one-handed, sorry for alll the typos!
    Mommy to
    Ava 9.24.08 self weaned at 2.5
    August 8.19.11 still nursing, trying to wean gently
    Abram 9.12.13

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Location
    Boring ole Michigan
    Posts
    205

    Default Re: Do you ever feel this way?

    I felt that way starting back at work. I would stay up all night nursing then be at work all day just to come home and do it all again! The sleeplessness REALLY got (and still is getting) to me. I feel like I never sleep anymore.

    But everytime it gets to me I just look at my LO and know he isn't going to be small for very long and to just enjoy all the attention he needs. One day he will be grown and I'll remember back to these days.. that helps me get through it.
    July 27 2011

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    278

    Default Re: Do you ever feel this way?

    Thanks everybody for the reply's! The lack of sleep was getting to me big time and I was questioning everything. But I got 4 hours of sleep in a row last night and feel much better today. It's nice to know there are other mommy's in the same boat as me. Makes me feel not so alone.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    I am Kate
    Wife to Jason
    Mom to Aubrey 4/06 queen
    Mom to Nathan 5/08 Relactated for him and he got EBM for a year
    Mom to Jack 8/11

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    10,440

    Default Re: Do you ever feel this way?

    I want to know...how is bottlefeeding avoiding being tired? I must say, I am MORE tired pumping and bottlefeeding baby #4 than I EVER was while BFing my older three children. When you bottlefeed, someone has to get up, sit up and feed the baby, then put the baby back to sleep because you were handling the baby, which woke baby back up. With BFing, I used to just roll baby to me, latch baby on and doze off. Baby would come off naturally when he was full and go back to sleep easily. I would baby wear and nurse and keep playing and homeschooling my older children when I was nursing.

    Do you babywear? Do you cosleep? Those two things may make you feel a lot better about the situation.

    And try BFing while sitting on the sofa. I used to nurse on the couch and read to my older children, narrate their car games, that sort of thing, so nobody ever felt neglected. It's been much harder this time around IMHO because I never have my hands free. I have one to hold the baby and one to hold the bottle, so I can't even read to them while I feed the baby

    So..I think it's NOT BFing. I think it's just having a baby that makes us tired, and I think you'd be MORE tired if you were bottlefeeding (I know for a fact you'd be more tired if you were pumping and bottlefeeding). And I think it's learning to juggle multiple children that makes it more difficult. It will come easier at some point. I personally found going from 2 kids to 3 more challenging than the jump from 0 to 1 or even 1 to 2.
    Susan
    Mama to my all-natural boys: Ian, 9-4-04, 11.5 lbs; Colton, 11-7-06, 9 lbs, in the water; Logan, 12-8-08, 9 lbs; Gavin, 1-18-11, 9 lbs; and an angel 1-15-06
    18+ months and for Gavin, born with an incomplete cleft lip and incomplete posterior cleft palate
    Sealed for time and eternity, 7-7-93
    Always babywearing, cosleeping and cloth diapering. Living with oppositional defiant disorder and ADHD. Ask me about cloth diapering and sewing your own diapers!

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