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Thread: Frustrated and Ready to Quit - HELP!

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Posts
    15

    Default Frustrated and Ready to Quit - HELP!

    My dd will be 4 weeks old on Tuesday. We already made it through her 3 week growth spurt (she hit that around 2 1/2 weeks) and I thought we'd start to even out now. However we've got a few problems that are getting me frustrated and wanting to stop breastfeeding.

    First of all she's a "rester" she nurses for a bit and rests for a bit. This can mean each feeding takes up to an hour and a half, barely leaving time to do anything in between feedings - including sleep!

    She also has started fussing at the breast - pulling away - but keeping the nipple in her mouth - she'll pull her head back or pull it down and grunt. A few times she's stopped and actually cried. I've read the FAQ article about fussing - but I can't figure out which problem is causing her fussing. I don't feel letdown occur. The LC had said to me that some people have stronger muscles than others (I don't leak milk at all) and that's probably what the case is with me.

    The third problem is 20 minutes or so after nursing she begins to fuss and cry. I think she's probably gassy - but we burp her after each breast - so I don't know what else to do. She's not a colicky baby - we can console her - but It's exhausting both hubby and me.

    I'm not enjoying breastfeeding and right now neither is dd. After an hour an a half session last night, at 2:30 in the morning, hubby had to take her and soothe her for 2 hours so I could get some sleep.

    Any suggestions are welcome. I know breastfeeding is best for her, but it hasn't gotten any easier. We had a really rough start - she didn't nurse well from birth due to some head trauma and a high jandice level. I'm just ready for this to be a little better!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Posts
    1,712

    Default Re: Frustrated and Ready to Quit - HELP!

    Welcome to motherhood. The first few months are not easy, BUT they will get better and you will be glad you stuck with it. And you will regret it if you don't. Breastfeeding for a newborn can take forever. An hour to an hour and half is normal. So relax and know what you are going through is NORMAL. Just knowing that can sometimes help. Don't worry about what gets done or doesn't. It will be there later to do, but your little one won't be a tiny newborn forever, so try to embrace this time and go with the flow. Get a big drink, a magazine, cd, tv remote, and curl up with baby for a relaxed nursing session. A sling or carrier can help you with two things. First of all babies love them. They may fuss a little in them, but leave them there and walk around. They will probably go right to sleep after a few minutes of fussing. Some you can even breastfeed in. I have worn my baby while doing just about everything from cleaning, to going to the bathroom. Babies love the feeling of being suspended and close to mom. Check out the baby wearing forum near the bottom of the list of forums. Now for the pulling... Also normal. Babies have their way of helping the milk flow faster. That is one. My baby didn't start that until about two months, but now she squeezes and pushes and whatever else to get that milk flowing just the way she likes it. To help with the flow you can do many things; warm washclothes applied to the breast, tickling the sides and top of the breast, compresions and gentle massage. I know it's hard in the beginning when you are just trying to get the baby on right, hold her wiggling hands, etc, but if you can gently massage the breast as she drinks that may help the flow too. Best wishes. Keep up the good work. Don't be afraid to ask for help. This newborn phase is a difficult time of adjustment for everyone, but it will pass and you will be so happy you stuck with breastfeeding.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
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    COUGARTOWN Baby! From here on in!
    Posts
    17,465

    Default Re: Frustrated and Ready to Quit - HELP!

    Two more weeks. Stay focused for two more weeks and learn to rest/sleep while she's nurse resting. Have you husband get you a neck pillow(U shaped) and pull into a sitting position either in the corner of the couch with your feet out on front of you or with your feet up in the glider of you have one. With the exception of rest and food you really shouldn't be worried about getting anything else done right now. House work will wait. I know these 1st weeks are grueling but they are a blink of an eye in this 1st year. You'll never be sorry you stuck it out. We promise. Please remember that until 4weeks ago she was with you/in/onyou 24/7. If you hold her for 16hrs a day thats 40% less than she's used to. Be patient. BFing isn't just about food. She feels connected to you this way and it makes her feel safe. It may be the reason the feeds are taking so long. Eventually you may want to look at a sling so you can move around and get stuff done while she's on you but for the next two weeks, let it go and stay focused on establishing this most precious of relationships. It'll all be there tomorrow. Hold your baby. Feed your baby. Rest with your feet up. Good Luck.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    1,349

    Default Re: Frustrated and Ready to Quit - HELP!

    I have to agree with the pps. DS is 5 weeks today, and we have thrush...I think I'm having vasospasms..and pretty much want to cry every time we nurse...which is anywhere from every hour to every 4 hours. It takes us almost an hour sometimes more, to finish a nursing session. I have come so close to quitting MANY times. ( every other day). But here we are at 5 weeks, still going. What keeps me going is knowing that all of this is NORMAL...and plenty of women make it past all of the early problems to successfully BF for a year or more. You've made it this far...and I'm sure you may come up against more hurdles...but dont give up. It will get better! It hasn't yet for me...but 5 weeks is still so early. Not only will we get better at it, but so will our babies. They need time. I'm on my 3rd, and if there's one thing I've learned, it's that it takes some time for a newborn to get used to living outside of the womb. As big of an adjustment as it is for us, it's 100 times bigger for them. There are no easy solutions to getting through the sleepless nights...you just get through them and time passes and the next thing you know, your little newborn is a chubby happy baby that smiles and coos and yes, may even sleep better at night. My oldest 2 are 5 and 6. Believe me...in the big scheme of things, a few weeks or months of sleep deprivation are a small price to pay for all the rewards of Motherhood...and you will barely remember the long nights when you look back a few years from now. Congratulations and good luck to you snd your family.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Posts
    5

    Default Re: Frustrated and Ready to Quit - HELP!

    I can still remember how tough those first few weeks were! Not only did I have latch problems, but my dd had a lazy suck, my milk took a week to come in, and I had to wean her off the formula the hospital gave her. EVERYONE I knew kept telling me to quit breastfeeding. After the first month or two though, breastfeeding became WONDERFUL! I was shocked at how easy it was, and it only kept getting easier. She would have longer waking times, and more scheduled feedings. And she did that all that on her own. I nursed on-demand, so for awhile it seemed like that is all that we did. Sooner than later though, I looked forward to the nursing times and her "resting" or napping between eating. It was MY time of the day to bond with her and then catch up on my reading, coupons, surfing the internet, or favorite tv show. It will get easier, and it's sad that so many mommies quit so early before they get to see how much easier it is to breastfeed than deal with formula!

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