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Thread: Possible sleep solution

  1. #11
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Posts
    53

    Default Re: Possible sleep solution

    Jumping in on this post, but I would love to hear more people's experience and ideas about avoiding the cry-it-out method. I am having a difficult time because our 14 week old has recently been waking at night much more often. I feed him, and I don't mind getting up, but many nights he is also fussy and keeps me awake for 1-2 hours blocks from around 2am to 4am. Anyway, my husband keeps pressuring me to let him cry, my family and friends keep pressuring me to let him cry, but every fiber of my being resists this! I just feel really instinctively that is is wrong, especially at this age. It has worked for many people, I am sure, but I just cannot do it. Anyway, I would love to hear more about what you have done, resources used, web sites, etc. Free information would be best, because we cannot afford to buy books right now. Thanks! Our little guy naps well, goes in his bed awake most days and falls asleep on his own for naps, but at night he is a little crabapple! He sometimes takes two hours to get him to sleep, then wakes constantly, fussing and needing to be rocked. Then waking every two hours, sometimes to eat, sometimes just gassy and grumpy.

  2. #12
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    818

    Default Re: Possible sleep solution

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*MeganMom View Post
    Jumping in on this post, but I would love to hear more people's experience and ideas about avoiding the cry-it-out method. I am having a difficult time because our 14 week old has recently been waking at night much more often. I feed him, and I don't mind getting up, but many nights he is also fussy and keeps me awake for 1-2 hours blocks from around 2am to 4am. Anyway, my husband keeps pressuring me to let him cry, my family and friends keep pressuring me to let him cry, but every fiber of my being resists this! I just feel really instinctively that is is wrong, especially at this age. It has worked for many people, I am sure, but I just cannot do it. Anyway, I would love to hear more about what you have done, resources used, web sites, etc. Free information would be best, because we cannot afford to buy books right now. Thanks! Our little guy naps well, goes in his bed awake most days and falls asleep on his own for naps, but at night he is a little crabapple! He sometimes takes two hours to get him to sleep, then wakes constantly, fussing and needing to be rocked. Then waking every two hours, sometimes to eat, sometimes just gassy and grumpy.
    Here's my opinion, since you already said 1. you don't want to do cio, 2. you don't mind getting up at night, 3. you want free solutions.The method I used was free, not CIO, and didn't even need books, websites, etc. My personal experience was to just deal with it without complaining to any family members. That sounds so harsh and difficult (for me, and sometimes it was) but it worked since LOs fussiness/being awake at that age were temporary (easier to see now in retrospect!!). With the exception of possible illness or maybe gassiness that could be preventable (as in, my oversupply issues causing digestive upset for her) there was not much I actually could do, or actually tried that worked to change anything about the way she functioned, especially when she was that little. The majority of the time, what worked was me walking her around, carrying her, nursing her, rubbing her tummy, singing to her, at all hours of the day and night. Through time, that got less and less, and now sometimes I miss the time I would carry her and sing to her while she listened since now she is always trying to run away and do toddler things.

    I think a lot of the times her fussiness could have been due to growth spurts, or new developmental milestones, and in most cases was completely normal and part of being a baby. I was like you and absolutely refused CIO, to the dismay of various family members. That is where the not complaining method comes in--when MIL or SIL or whoever asks you how sleeping is going, the answer is always "Its going GREAT! She's sleeping like a baby!!" and if they call you out on being tired "Well, this mommy thing is hard work! You know how it goes" Etc.

    In general, making sure she napped during the day well helped, but there were still otherwise "perfect" days that resulted in me being up at strange blocks at night, pushing her in her stroller in the dark until she went back to bed I really think its just part of the deal.

    eta: and as far as your hubby pressuring you to let him cry, IMO you need to nip that in the bud. the last thing you need is that from your partner too! There are a lot of good non-CIO articles which show how it can be harmful to the baby. once he is on board with you about it (and there are plenty of methods you can use to get him to understand your POV ) he can help stop the onslaught of comments from the rest of the family, or at least help shut the discussion down.
    Christine
    Can't believe I've been and a full-time SAHM to Elena (5/2010) for over 2 yrs!
    Mami de mi preciosa Elenita
    http://forums.llli.org/image.php?type=sigpic&userid=32384&dateline=131170  7429 OakRoseCharms Free Shipping for LLLadies just pm me! My Blog

  3. #13
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Location
    Northern Cal.
    Posts
    4,983

    Default Re: Possible sleep solution

    Fourteen weeks is so young! You say you don't mind getting up ... have you considered taking your baby into your bed for part of the night, or at least setting up a crib/bassinet right next to you? Speaking as the queen of sleep deprivation , IMO, the secret to surviving a lot of night-waking rests with YOU, not with trying to change your baby. You need to go to bed earlier, take naps when you can (at least on weekends), take turns with your husband on who gets up first with the baby in the morning, anything you can do to catch a few more minutes of rest. If you go to bed 10 hours before you need to be up, you will feel better in the morning, even if your baby is up frequently (but also, for me, it makes a difference to not have to stand up and walk at night for wakings - having to sit up is bad enough. That's why I've coslept with Joe so much. It's just survival.

    Fourteen weeks is WAY too early for CIO, in my opinion! My goodness, I don't know any four month olds who can self-soothe (well, there are some really mellow babies, but I dont' have one of those). At three months, they're still just helpless babies who want mama close by to keep them safe, you know?


    You can call me JoMo!

    Mom to baby boy Joe, born 5/4/09 and breastfed for more than two and a half years, and baby girl Maggie, born 7/9/12.

  4. #14
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Location
    Springfield, Oregon
    Posts
    916

    Default Re: Possible sleep solution

    Here is an amazing resource. It has reasons not to cio and sleep suggestions. It is super cool you are not wanting to do this cio. Life as a mum is exhausting but we made a deal with our babes to nurture them .... Forever.
    http://compassionatemotherhood.blogs...resources.html

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*MeganMom View Post
    Jumping in on this post, but I would love to hear more people's experience and ideas about avoiding the cry-it-out method. I am having a difficult time because our 14 week old has recently been waking at night much more often. I feed him, and I don't mind getting up, but many nights he is also fussy and keeps me awake for 1-2 hours blocks from around 2am to 4am. Anyway, my husband keeps pressuring me to let him cry, my family and friends keep pressuring me to let him cry, but every fiber of my being resists this! I just feel really instinctively that is is wrong, especially at this age. It has worked for many people, I am sure, but I just cannot do it. Anyway, I would love to hear more about what you have done, resources used, web sites, etc. Free information would be best, because we cannot afford to buy books right now. Thanks! Our little guy naps well, goes in his bed awake most days and falls asleep on his own for naps, but at night he is a little crabapple! He sometimes takes two hours to get him to sleep, then wakes constantly, fussing and needing to be rocked. Then waking every two hours, sometimes to eat, sometimes just gassy and grumpy.
    Baby Girl "Piper" born Feb 12th, 2010. She is a true blessing!

    And a baby who is now an Angel in Heaven Feb 7th, 2008.

  5. #15
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Posts
    466

    Default Re: Possible sleep solution

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*RedPowerLady View Post
    Life as a mum is exhausting but we made a deal with our babes to nurture them .... Forever.

  6. #16
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Posts
    53

    Default Re: Possible sleep solution

    Thanks to all for the replies! Definitely made me feel better about my stance. It is tough because my hubby lets him cry when I am at work, but I only work 2 days a week. He says he doesn't let him cry longer than 15 minutes. Anyway, I will stick to my guns. I really feel it is because he needs something, even if he doesn't know what he needs!!

    I wish we could co-sleep, but I actually find that I sleep better without him in bed with me. He is a serious grunter, squirmer, wiggle-worm. He sleeps well, but I sure don't! He also, unfortunately, prefers me not to be laying down when he nurses! I actually do okay getting up, and he usually eats pretty fast. I think what I struggle with the most is the two hour process of getting him to bed. Anyway, thank you so much for all the validation! I will take a look at the Compassionate Motherhood link. Thanks to all!

    Megan

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